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<\/p>\nWakiuru Njuguna comes down to the terrace restaurant of the Hyatt Regency Hotel. She’s smaller than you remember her. Lighter, literally and\u2014as you will learn shortly\u2014figuratively. She’s having a staycation with her best friend, an urban ritual where people (women, if we’re being honest) retreat to ritzy hotels to decompress from the rigours of work, mostly over the weekend.<\/p>\n
But rules be damned, for Wakiuru, who has taken some time off.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve always been someone who sticks to the plan. I\u2019m steady,\u201d she says. \u201cBut I also realise now that I tied myself too tightly to the script I had for my life. I’m changing all that.\u201d And a few other things in her life. She now finds herself upon the Rubicon of her 30s that was littered with ambition, motherhood and all the stuff between that. She turns 40 in three months, and she is throwing a bunch of things overboard: habits, expectations, the performance of having it all together. The over-committing. The relentless \u2018yes.\u2019<\/p>\n
A finance person bored by the tedium and tyranny of numbers, she, many years ago, found her tribe among creatives. She runs HEVA Fund, a creative economy fund that has spent the better part of a decade solving a problem. How do you move real, sustainable capital to artistes? She has spent 12 years building that answer. Now, standing at the edge of 40, she is already thinking about what comes next. A financial institution for creatives. Something that moves like a bank but was built for people banks don\u2019t care too much about, where, at the click of a button, a filmmaker gets a loan, a photographer insures her equipment. \u201cNow, how does that transform into a Pan-African entity?\u201d She poses rhetorically.<\/p>\n
Questions. The bane of 40. She is asking several at this time, red pen in hand, striking through whole paragraphs that no longer fit.<\/p>\n
\nYou have always avoided the media\u2026 <\/p>\n
Because I\u2019ve always been a behind-the-scenes person. For the longest time, I felt like the work should tell the story. But I\u2019m also turning a big age this year, so I figured, why not?<\/p>\n
\nOh, which big age is that? <\/p>\n
\nOh, still young\u2026 <\/p>\n
Turning 40 has made me very reflective. I\u2019ve been thinking a lot about my journey; how I got here, what lessons I need to carry with me, and what I need to let go of as I move into this next phase. For a long time, I felt like I didn’t have enough to say yet. Like I hadn’t gathered enough life. But now I\u2019m like, okay\u2026I think I have.<\/p>\n
\nHow has the first half of your life been? <\/p>\n
A wild ride. A roller coaster. I was never the child who knew what they wanted to be when they grew up. I was always just like, I don\u2019t know yet. I only ever knew when I was in it. When I was about 25, I got to The Nest, and that was the first time I felt truly aligned with what I was doing. I don’t like boredom.<\/p>\n
Anything that requires repetitive tasks really bores me, which, for someone who studied accounting and finance, sounds ridiculous. At The Nest, the work felt different. It was still accounting, but I had to think outside the box.<\/p>\n
On a film set, what does production accounting look like? If we are publishing a book, what does that kind of accounting look like? Every project demanded something different. I guess that’s how I eventually segued into HEVA. But I always knew I would recognise the thing when I found it.<\/p>\n
\nYou studied finance, then you found your way into the creative space\u2026 <\/p>\n
It was everything. You don\u2019t get many finance professionals in the creative world, so there were many things I had to figure out as I went along. But I was deeply fascinated by the people and how creative minds transform an idea into a beautiful thing, whether it\u2019s a film, a book, or fashion.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve always felt creative too, just from a financial and mathematical perspective. So, when I started doing that work, I finally felt like I had found my tribe because growing up, I had always felt slightly out of place.<\/p>\n
\nHow so? <\/p>\n
I never really felt like I fit into different spaces growing up. I’m a firstborn, and there\u2019s about a six-year age gap between my brother and me. So, for the first six years of my life, I was basically alone.<\/p>\n
I became quite a loner. But when I entered that creative space, I finally felt like I belonged somewhere. There was a real need for my skill set. For the first time, I felt accepted, with all my quirks and everything that came with me.<\/p>\n
I was quite chubby in primary school, and I got teased a lot. I had joined an expensive private school on scholarship, which introduced another layer to the feeling of not belonging.<\/p>\n
The other children always seemed to know who was on scholarship and who wasn\u2019t. They went to places like Village Market on weekends. I couldn\u2019t relate to that world. That feeling of not quite belonging followed me through many spaces growing up.<\/p>\n
\nSo you\u2019ve always been the odd duck? <\/p>\n
It did come with a bit of loneliness, but not the kind where I was sad all the time. I was just very comfortable being by myself. That part followed me into adulthood. I can be around people, enjoy it even, but afterwards I\u2019ll need time alone to decompress.<\/p>\n
Even when I\u2019m going through something, my instinct is to retreat inward first. Once I\u2019ve processed things, I\u2019m able to come back and figure out a way forward.<\/p>\n
\nHave the things you sought to achieve by 40 come to fruition? <\/p>\n
No. I always said that when I turned 40, I wanted to take a sabbatical and rest. But you make plans, and God laughs. The first six months of this year have been some of the most defining of my life, both personally and professionally.<\/p>\n
This year has really been about accepting that life may not unfold the way I imagined, and learning not to cling too tightly to my plans. I\u2019m still learning how to let go. It\u2019s probably the hardest lesson for me.<\/p>\n
\nWhat are you letting go of? <\/p>\n
Expectations. My own, and everybody else\u2019s. As a firstborn child, you grow up meeting expectations. Taking care of people, making sure you\u2019re not disappointing anyone. I\u2019ve carried that into adulthood. This season has been about setting some of it down.<\/p>\n
\nWhat are some of the habits you are throwing overboard? <\/p>\n
There was a period where everything was a \u2018yes\u2019. There’s a panel to sit on? Yes. There\u2019s an event? Yes, I\u2019ll be there. You say yes so many times that you slowly start compromising your own boundaries.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Through HEVA Fund, Wakiuru Njuguna has spent more than a decade expanding access to capital for creative entrepreneurs.<\/p>\n
Then you wonder, \u201cWhy am I so exhausted\u201d? A lot of it came from overperforming, maybe it\u2019s a firstborn thing, maybe a firstborn daughter thing. But I\u2019m realising I need to stop. Part of that is learning to say no, I can’t show up. I’m not ready for this. If something doesn\u2019t feel okay, it\u2019s fine to say so.<\/p>\n
\nWhat\u2019s been your most defining period so far? <\/p>\n
My early to mid-30s. I have three children, and at the same time, I wanted my career to grow while we were building HEVA. We started in our early 30s, typically when people are settling into careers and climbing corporate ladders.<\/p>\n
But for us, it was deep-building mode, all the time, while raising very young children. There were many moments when I felt pulled in completely different directions. Do I show up for something important for my child, or do I go for a meeting that could completely change HEVA\u2019s trajectory? That was probably the most difficult season.<\/p>\n
\nTalking of teachings, what has motherhood taught you? <\/p>\n
Humility. You quickly realise you know nothing. Even with my first child, I thought I had a template. Then my second came, and I realised the same template won’t work. It also taught me to let go of the fixed idea I had of myself as a mother.<\/p>\n
No screen time, no junk food\u2026all the things you say before you actually become a parent. Eventually, you realise, it\u2019s fine. They\u2019ll survive. More than anything, motherhood makes you realise you’re only doing oversight for a period. Eventually, they become individuals regardless of how much guidance you try to give them. You have to let go.<\/p>\n
\nWhat have you changed your mind on lately? Something fundamental. <\/p>\n
I have come to believe that you don\u2019t always have to stick to that script. I\u2019ve always stuck to the plan. I\u2019m very steady. But I realise now that I tied myself too tightly to the script I had for my life. And when life throws punches at you, it becomes very hard to imagine another route because you\u2019re so attached to the original plan.<\/p>\n
So, this season has been about letting go of that script and understanding that sometimes life requires you to take a different route. It may not be the route you imagined, but it can still take you where you need to go.<\/p>\n
\nWhat\u2019s been your biggest failure so far as you head to 40? <\/p>\n
Around 2017, 2018, we ran out of funding and had to close shop briefly. At the time, it felt like a personal failure. I was in charge of investments and finance, so I felt like I should have seen it coming.<\/p>\n
But in hindsight, that period taught us a lot. None of us had ever run a fund before. We were building the plane while flying it. Some lessons only come when you are in the middle of a mistake. By the time we started rebuilding, we had a completely different perspective on what needed to change.<\/p>\n
\nWould you come back as a mother in the next life? <\/p>\n
Yes, but I would have children later. Maybe at 40. I really struggled early on in motherhood. A lot of it came down to emotional maturity. At that stage, it feels like your world is ending. Your friends are out living their lives, and you\u2019re home with a baby. It can feel like being trapped.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve definitely been a much calmer mother with my third child, whom I had at around 36, than I was with my firstborn. With my first child, I was anxious about everything.<\/p>\n
\nWhat are you greatly insecure about now? <\/p>\n
I’ve struggled with imposter syndrome for years. It shows up in two ways: overcompensating or downplaying my achievements. You do something significant, and instead of owning it, you tell yourself it’s not a big deal. Not something worth recognising.<\/p>\n
\nWhat\u2019s your level of happiness right now? <\/p>\n
Happiness is very fleeting. Joy is more important. Happiness feels tied to something. I achieved this, therefore I am happy. But joy is more internal. It\u2019s not tied to shifts in your life. You just carry it. A lot of that comes from gratitude.<\/p>\n
I know that sounds like something from a podcast, but it\u2019s true. When you focus on what is working instead of only what isn\u2019t, that\u2019s where gratitude comes from. And from that, joy. I can\u2019t say I\u2019m there yet, but I\u2019m working toward it.<\/p>\n
\nBeing in finance, what\u2019s your relationship with money? <\/p>\n
I\u2019m very attached to money, which I know is not necessarily a good thing. [Chuckles] I didn\u2019t grow up with wealth, and I saw what not having money can do, so I became very afraid of losing it. I plan everything down to the last cent.<\/p>\n
If I\u2019m taking a holiday in December, I\u2019ve probably planned for it since January. But that\u2019s also something I\u2019m learning to loosen up. I\u2019m learning to let go and have some fun too.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Wakiuru Njuguna comes down to the terrace restaurant of the Hyatt Regency Hotel. She’s smaller than you remember…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":625045,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[212010,84,212012,212008,121220,4203,212007,212009,212011,56,54,55,212006,100411],"class_list":["post-625044","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-entrepreneurship","tag-arts-financing","tag-business","tag-career-reflection","tag-creative-economy","tag-creative-entrepreneurship","tag-entrepreneurship","tag-heva-fund","tag-kenya-creatives","tag-turning-40","tag-uk","tag-united-kingdom","tag-unitedkingdom","tag-wakiuru-njuguna","tag-women-leaders"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/625044","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=625044"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/625044\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/625045"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=625044"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=625044"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=625044"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}