If an alien landed and asked you: \u201cWhat is this thing you call music?\u201d what would you play for them? And why? Heather, Kent<\/p>\n
Send new questions to nq@theguardian.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n Readers reply<\/p>\n Gustav Holst, The Planets, of course! winelf<\/p>\n The Martian Hop<\/a> would seem the obvious starting point. Even if they only speak Klingon, they\u2019d still love that infectious 60s doo-wop. jno50<\/p>\n Klingons are mad for Queen<\/a>. therealjonbob<\/p>\n Easy peasy \u2013 Rock Lobster by the B-52s. Beijingcalling<\/p>\n Forever Autumn by Justin Hayward. 2000 Light Years from Home? Or I\u2019d play the original version of Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft. Why? Because of the melody, and because most people here on Earth only know the Carpenters\u2019 version, so there\u2019s no way an extraterrestrial being would be familiar with Klaatu. EddieChorepost<\/p>\n Play them something on the bagpipes. They would sod off, never return and leave \u201cDanger! Keep away!\u201d signs all around the solar system. bunkendrum<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s all a waste of time again \/ She used to mow the lawn.\u201d All my years on this planet called Earth, the band I view as being in the genre of existential sci-fi is a band that makes life make sense. The Flaming Lips. Pick an album. penguinzero<\/p>\n Slim Whitman if you want them to leave. The Planets for a clue to where they\u2019ve come from. lizzieflint<\/p>\n Blindness by the Fall from the Peel sessions. Two greats for the price of one. Foolishbird<\/p>\n Help! Help! The Globolinks! by Giancarlo Menotti? HugoFS<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The first side of The Dark Side of the Moon. CaptainLobster<\/p>\n The video to DJ Snake: Turn Down for What. Limni<\/p>\n Show them an electric guitar and then tell them much of what is music in the world these days is played on this instrument \u2013 and here are two men to play some music they have written, which will show you how it\u2019s best done. Their names are David Gilmour and Mark Knopfler. IDNumNoLongerWorks<\/p>\n Probably something simple like London Bridge Is Falling Down, on the basis that you can use the various elements to explain how music has rhythm and melody before moving on to more complicated works. Get them grounded in the basics before getting too intense.<\/p>\n I doubt any of us would have been impressed as a small child to be presented with something as challenging as Ulysses by Joyce as our initial reading book. I believe that a similar approach to how people are introduced to reading would be helpful in a case like this. d33pf1x<\/p>\n It all depends on where they come from: JADES-GS-z14-0 (Pierrot Lunaire by Arnold Schoenberg), WASP-94A b (anything from Angine de Poitrine), or Venus (Three Cool Cat by the Coasters). Mike5B<\/p>\n Angine de Poitrine<\/a>, who also come from a galaxy far, far away. PingPonger<\/p>\n These aliens are really already here to show us what music actually is. stillife76<\/p>\n Planet Claire, B-52s. Gramffgul<\/p>\n Wouldn\u2019t any self respecting alien have a Spotify or Apple Music subscription? 66JayAreGee<\/p>\n Bj\u00f6rk \u2013 Hyperballad. She and it are barely of this world anyhow \u2013 in a good way. RicardoDiMagnifico<\/p>\n Or Big Time Sensuality. Proper alien foot tapper \u2026 BirtyDankers<\/p>\n I\u2019d grab my accordion and play them It\u2019s a Long Way to Tipperary. That would confuse \u2019em. BirtyDankers<\/p>\n Barely of this world? Bj\u00f6rk in Japan in 2017. Photograph: Santiago Felipe\/Getty Images<\/p>\n Air on the G String (Bach, arranged by August Wilhelmj). Failing that, To Here Knows When and Soon by My Bloody Valentine. Simon01<\/p>\n Pachelbel\u2019s Canon in D, I think. Something that starts extremely simple and then becomes increasingly complex. Or possibly the bit from the end of the second act of The Marriage of Figaro, where you have a duet that becomes a trio, then a quartet, then quintet, and so on.<\/p>\n But of course, this assumes that the alien can hear music in much the same way that we can. There\u2019s no good reason to assume that: it quite possibly won\u2019t be able to hear harmonies in the way that we do. It won\u2019t necessarily be able to recognise a tempo, or be able to distinguish between different instruments, or between an instrument and a voice, or even perhaps to recognise the pitch of a sound at all. Or it may even be entirely deaf if it comes from an environment where hearing isn\u2019t useful! 1AngryMan<\/p>\n My first instinct would be Bach but, to coin a phrase, I wouldn\u2019t want the aliens to feel jealous. So, maybe one or two of Chopin\u2019s \u00c9tudes instead. therealjonbob<\/p>\n The American singer and songwriter Bessie Smith. Photograph: Granger Historical Picture Archive\/Alamy<\/p>\n Hmm \u2026 Despite not being a fan of either classical or opera, I feel an iconic aria is called for. Either that or Bessie Smith\u2019s Gimme a Pigfoot. TMelly<\/p>\n West End Blues by Louis Armstrong. JWessex<\/p>\n Charli xcx \u2013 Lucky. eminentone<\/p>\n I\u2019d sing until they got the idea\u2026 taffgorge<\/p>\n My acoustic guitar, just improvising around finger-picked chord shapes. TerryEdward<\/p>\n They\u2019re Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!<\/a> \u2013 Napoleon XIV. That would get rid of them in no time! Onesiphorus<\/p>\n (Take a ) Walk on the Wild Side. Gramffgul<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Miles Davis: Kind of Blue. ruffriders<\/p>\n It really depends on the aspect of music you want to push to the forefront. If you want to impress the alien by depicting the creation of music as a great achievement of humankind, a complicated and beautiful classical piece played by a vast, skilful orchestra is ideal. However, I would much rather gather a group, take out my guitar and sing together spontaneously, possibly with an accompanying handclap rhythm. Although much great music is very exclusive, and made by extremely skilled, talented and well-practised artists, I think the music that brings the most joy is communal. artisticallyinclined<\/p>\n Rameau: Tendre Amour from Les Indes Galantes<\/a> (conducted by William Christie). It is so hauntingly beautiful that they would probably cry. HGGirl<\/p>\n Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley (which I\u2019d embed in a link<\/a>, of course). hurtinthewarmup<\/p>\n I\u2019d grab my trusty banjo and just start playing. This is music, I\u2019d say. Sebastian_Rogers<\/p>\n I would start with Barbie Girl by Aqua, then Baby Shark and Crazy Frog, then breathe a sigh of relief just before the death ray hit. DocMesa1981 Send the Buggers Back by Half a Shilling, to make them feel welcome. Or offer Dumpy\u2019s Rusty Nuts a small fortune for a private gig. Hectormandarin<\/p>\n The Beatles. SwindonNick<\/p>\n Jean-Michel Jarre\u2019s album Equinoxe. rendrag<\/p>\n Surely Eno\u2019s Another Green World? SanFranFerg<\/p>\n Given they\u2019ve got the technology to travel light years across space, it\u2019s overwhelmingly likely that they\u2019ve also got the technology to understand the harmonic series (which in Earth terms is 2,000 years old) and therefore most of human music. So it really doesn\u2019t matter \u2013 whatever we play them they\u2019ve heard something like it before. On that basis, I\u2019d give them a blast of Bach, because it\u2019s great followed up with some of the classical music that is least like western harmony \u2013 Indonesia and India. SRW647 Doctor Rock by Mot\u00f6rhead. Just to show that we do know how to have a bit of fun. bunkendrum<\/p>\n The Welsh national anthem, Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau, with John Redwood trying to lipsync. JimPotato<\/p>\n The score from Close Encounters of the Third Kind by John Williams. Because he\u2019s a genius. Sagarmatha1953<\/p>\n I Lost My Heart to a Starship Trooper. Or even just Starship Trooper! slobberfest<\/p>\n The late and much lamented John Peel. Photograph: Eamonn McCabe\/The Guardian<\/p>\n Teenage Kicks \u2013 The Undertones \u2013 because it totally captures how it feels to be a teenager and would teach them this, as well as being an amazing song. AmandaJG I reckon the Star Wars title theme is appropriately grand. sethwoolley<\/p>\n I\u2019d stick on Cardiacs: Sing to God<\/a>. If that didn\u2019t make them leave, I\u2019d start on The Residents. unclestinky<\/p>\n Bach\u2019s Concerto for Two Violins. Gom1954<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Watch a performance of Bach\u2019s Concerto for Two Violins in D Minor by Netherlands Bach Society.<\/p>\n It\u2019s a Small World (After All). Savage1701<\/p>\n Also Sprach Zarathustra by Richard Strauss. Ralanfish The Beach Boys. Brian was a genius. lexicon_mistress Toto by Africa. Or I Ran by Flock of Seagulls. No explanation needed. Creepster<\/p>\n Oh, some traditional west African music. And some Gregorian chant. Bach\u2019s Brandenburg Concertos. And the Stones\u2019 She\u2019s a Rainbow. Serenissima6<\/p>\n Pretty much anything by David Bowie. Certainly the Blackstar album. MagentaProfane Claude Achille Debussy, who wrote Claire de Lune. Photograph: World History Archive\/Alamy<\/p>\n I\u2019d play Clair de Lune for the aliens. If they were being chased by men in black, I\u2019d play them Rick Wakeman\u2019s two-minute version \u2013 that\u2019s just as good as the original. I\u2019d explain to the aliens that music can be an idea that people get from anything, which they then convert into sounds that have the magical power of making us feel emotional things when we hear them. In this case, I\u2019d tell them Clair de Lune is about the light coming from our moon.<\/p>\n If by chance the alien said they had the same thing on their home planet, I\u2019d beg them to take me back with them. Seriously, I\u2019d be out of here like a shot. Hope the aliens have Bluetooth speakers on their ship \u2026 Micktrick<\/p>\n Some late period Autechre, because maybe they get it. theRotorvator<\/p>\n Erik Satie\u2019s Gymnop\u00e9die No 1, because it\u2019s the first sound that came into my head when I read the question. SlowLoris<\/p>\n Welcome to the Jungle! DukeApricot<\/p>\n The Shaggs\u2019 My Pal Foot Foot. PunCrock<\/p>\n I would start playing with random objects making sounds including with my own body clapping hands, whistling, etc. Then I would ask them to make some noise themselves and slowly turn that noise into a melody. juanchomang<\/p>\n Photograph: Popimages\/Alamy<\/p>\n Arnold Schoenberg: Dreimal sieben Gedichte aus Albert Girauds \u2013 Pierrot Lunaire; Iannis Xenakis: Persepolis; Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band: Trout Mask Replica; Merzbow: Pulse Demon. I believe this would adequately prepare them for the reality of life on Earth, while also making us look more culturally sophisticated than we actually are. realmOdusk Music in Twelve Parts, Parts One and Two. Philip Glass. I think they\u2019d get it then. Minimilister<\/p>\n Mad about Queen? Michael Dorn as the Klingon Lt Commander Worf in Star Trek: First Contact. Photograph: Paramount\/Sportsphoto\/Allstar<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t think they\u2019re gonna wait till the end of Barbie Girl with their death rays. Mike5B<\/p>\n
Yeah, I\u2019ve the uneasy feeling that they would consider even our most acclaimed \u201chigh culture\u201d music to be merely the work of children (so to speak). Simon01
It doesn\u2019t matter. Let\u2019s go for anything from Modern Talking. Gramffgul<\/p>\n
It was John Peel\u2019s favourite song. True fact. Groundhog_Phil<\/p>\n
Good choice, especially if these aliens planted the monolith in 2001: A Space Odyssey<\/a>. LeighT<\/p>\n
God Only Knows. gleebitz<\/p>\n
If the alien plays for you Slow Burn by Bowie as an example of what life is like where he comes from, then politely decline his offer that you visit his home planet. Micktrick<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t know about the aliens, but apart from the music I know I\u2019m sure to find out some of your alien recommendations. It might make me look a bit more culturally sophisticated than I actually am. Mike5B<\/p>\n