the BBC<\/a> after Pike\u2019s comments, bans on phones in theatres, or public shaming, could exclude disabled people in audiences, such as those who use hearing aid apps and need to adjust the settings.<\/p>\nWhat is clear is that many of us may need a quick refresher on modern phone etiquette, from the obvious (Should anyone be texting in the theatre? No) to the vague (Are full stops in messages aggressive? It depends how old you are). We spoke to the experts.<\/p>\n
When should you switch off your phone?<\/p>\n
\u201cPhones should be there to complement our lives,\u201d says William Hanson, an expert on etiquette and the author of Just Good Manners. \u201cI think anywhere we are forgetting the human beings around us, the phone should be switched off.\u201d In the theatre or cinema, even if you think you\u2019re being discreet, checking your messages on your bright phone is ruining someone else\u2019s escapism. Hanson, who is moving into acting, is about to do a six-week run in London in the musical Titanique. \u201cMy character has an ad-lib section, and I have chosen to talk about audience behaviour, and I will be talking about phones.\u201d<\/p>\n
Is it ever OK to have your phone on the table in a restaurant?When will they put their phones down? Photograph: Posed by models; Alexander Ford\/Getty Images\/iStockphoto<\/p>\n
Hanson says not only should you keep your phone off the table and out of sight, but you should switch it off, so it is not a distraction. \u201cWe have this Pavlovian response that, when the phone buzzes or lights up, we have to deal with it and it\u2019s urgent, and 95% of the time it\u2019s not. We all go on ego trips, where we think that whatever we are doing is the most important thing.\u201d Unless you are an on-call transplant surgeon or similar, the notification can almost certainly wait.<\/p>\n
What if you are waiting for an urgent call?<\/p>\n
If you are expecting an important phone call, tell the person you are with at the beginning, says Meier. \u201cSay: \u2018Please excuse me. If it happens to come through during this lunch, I\u2019ll just be a moment.\u2019 But never take the call at the table. Take it outside, away from the communal area.\u201d<\/p>\n
Is a call on loudspeaker ever acceptable in a public place?Oversharing \u2026 not everyone wants to listen to your conversation. Photograph: Posed by model; skynesher\/Getty Images<\/p>\n
I love listening to other people\u2019s conversations, but it turns out that many people don\u2019t share my view. \u201cIt is that brazen idea that whatever you are doing is more important [than what others are doing],\u201d says Hanson. It is even worse, says Meier, when other people can\u2019t get away, because they\u2019re next to you on the train, for instance. \u201cIt\u2019s not only a communal space, but now the person next to you is forced to listen to you,\u201d she says. She says it is easy to forget: \u201cPeople around us are not there to hear our conversation, they are there to enjoy other people, or the meal they\u2019re having.\u201d<\/p>\n
What about ringtones and keypad bleeps? <\/p>\n
Unless you rely on your phone\u2019s sounds, perhaps because of vision or hearing loss, all the noises should be switched off in public, says Mariah Humbert, an expert on etiquette and the author of What Do I Do? \u201cOur phones have evolved now, where the vibrate options are very user-friendly,\u201d she says. Any time you are in a public space, she says: \u201cEither have your headphones on or turn the ringer off.\u201d<\/p>\n
When should you wear headphones?Playing it by the rules \u2026 headphones are a must when you are listening to something on your phone in a public place. Photograph: Posed by model; chabybucko\/Getty Images<\/p>\n
\u201cHeadphones are an absolute must any time you want to listen to something on your phone,\u201d says Humbert. But whenever you are interacting with someone, you should take them out, \u201ceven if it\u2019s a two-second interaction \u2013 as you pay for your coffee in a shop, or the train conductor comes to punch your ticket. That gesture of taking the headphones out and acknowledging the person in front of you is one of those micro-moments where you can show that person the respect they deserve.\u201d<\/p>\n
Is it acceptable to send voice notes?<\/p>\n
Notwithstanding accessibility needs, the use of voice notes largely depends on the relationship, say all the experts. I would add that it also depends on their content. Amusing and short recordings are acceptable; long and rambling ones, used because the sender couldn\u2019t be bothered to type the message, are not. Meier says you should tell someone if you don\u2019t want to receive voice notes. \u201cSome people feel they are rude because they\u2019re forcing you to listen to somebody babble on for ages. I don\u2019t mind them if they are from somebody I am close to.\u201d Much of the time, Humbert says, she will read the transcription of the note, rather than listen to it. She says the point of texting is that it is convenient for the recipient to check quickly. If you are sending a voice recording because it\u2019s important to convey a certain tone or emotion, adds Humbert, it\u2019s still wise to keep it relatively short, \u201cnot a five-minute-long note\u201d.<\/p>\n
Hanson says he often sends a quick text below a voice note to let the recipient know what it\u2019s about, and its relative importance. \u201c\u2018Regarding tomorrow\u2019s meeting\u2019 or \u2018dinner tonight\u2019 or something, so when they look at it, they know, OK, that\u2019s not pressingly urgent.\u201d He is a fan of voice notes for keeping in touch with friends it is hard to catch up with, perhaps because they are in a different time zone. He says: \u201cI\u2019ve got a friend who lives in San Francisco. Pressing play on the voice note as I\u2019m pottering around is nice. But that\u2019s a very close friendship.\u201d Bombarding people with inane recordings is different, he says. For example: \u201cWhen they\u2019re walking down the street and they start providing a commentary: \u2018Oh, there\u2019s a man on a bike going past.\u2019 I don\u2019t care. I wouldn\u2019t care if I were standing next to you, and I definitely don\u2019t care if we\u2019re in different postcodes.\u201d<\/p>\n
What hours are acceptable to text someone in? <\/p>\n
Again, it depends on the relationship. \u201cMy husband, I\u2019m just going to text him,\u201d says Hanson. But for many people: \u201cI think the onus is on the sender to respect the recipient\u2019s time. You can schedule texts. It might be midnight your time, but you can schedule it to go the next morning.\u201d For work-related messages, Hanson thinks between 8am and 7pm is acceptable. Meier adds that you should resist the temptation to text anything business-related after usual office hours. \u201cPeople feel that text messages seem more casual,\u201d she says, but to a recipient, they can feel more urgent and put pressure on them to reply. After hours, she says: \u201cI would send an email and let the person get back to you as and when they need.\u201d<\/p>\n
Should you reply to texts straight away?<\/p>\n
Meier says that, despite the immediacy of texts: \u201cI think it\u2019s fair to give somebody the grace period of a business day, socially or professionally.\u201d If you can tell the other person needs a quick response but you can\u2019t give it, it\u2019s considerate to let them know, says Humbert. \u201cSend a simple text that says: \u2018I\u2019ll get back to you as soon as I can\u2019, just to let them know that you\u2019ve read the message and you\u2019re acknowledging it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Should you call someone from gen Z without prior warning?Phone call phobia \u2026 is a thing for gen z. Photograph: Posed by model; Guillermo Spelucin\/Getty Images<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re older, it\u2019s tempting to feel dismissive of the trend among gen Z (those born between the mid-90s and early 2010s) towards phone call phobia, but that is to miss the changing meaning of phone calls. They are now considered much more invasive, says Dr Zoetanya Sujon, programme director for communications and media at the London College of Communication. Young people, says Sujon, use phones in a different way from older people. Millennials and older people would have grown up with only a household landline, and a familiarity with phone boxes, and the oldest among us wouldn\u2019t have even had this. \u201cYounger people grow up with constant communication. They might get a mobile phone at 10, maybe younger, so they\u2019re accustomed to always being in touch, always being able to communicate, and phones come to have a different meaning for them.\u201d Calls are not their primary means of communication, or they are used to ringing only people close to them, rather than strangers or in a professional situation \u201cso the contexts are very different\u201d.<\/p>\n
To a phone-phobic younger generation, a phone call is akin to turning up at someone\u2019s house unannounced. \u201cI would send a text and say: \u2018Hey, I was thinking of calling in five minutes,\u2019\u201d says Meier. \u201cIt\u2019s adjusting to the method of communication that makes somebody feel comfortable. If you know that about somebody, or if you don\u2019t, sending that buffer text is a safe bet.\u201d<\/p>\n
If the phone call is on a specific subject, where you need someone\u2019s full attention, Humbert recommends scheduling it in advance, though bear in mind it\u2019s important how you word it. \u201c\u2018Would love to touch base this afternoon, are you free after 3pm?\u2019 is better than: \u2018I need to talk to you about something.\u2019 That would probably make people say: \u2018Just call me right now. I need to know what you want to say.\u2019 But I think if you\u2019re calling someone to say hello, to check in on them, they will answer if they\u2019re able to. I don\u2019t think there\u2019s anything wrong with calling out of the blue in that context.\u201d<\/p>\n
If they do answer \u2013 not a given \u2013 be prepared to instantly reassure them that you\u2019re not about to deliver bad news. \u201cI quickly make it clear I\u2019m just phoning for a chat,\u201d says Hanson.<\/p>\n
Should you use full stops? Or send brain rot?<\/p>\n
I have been told by younger people that my full stops in messages and thumbs up emojis are abrupt and rude. I already know the crying-laughing face is \u201ccringe\u201d, but I consider good punctuation thoughtful and polite, and how can a thumbs up be anything but friendly positivity? Beware the generational differences, says Humbert (who is gen Z). \u201cIt\u2019s with punctuation, abbreviations, emoji use. Tone and intention can be misconstrued in texting, so if it\u2019s something important where you really want your tone to come across properly, it might be better as a phone call. But it\u2019s definitely a generational thing to see a message as having a lack of emotion, or being rude, but I don\u2019t think that\u2019s how the older generation means for it to come across.\u201d<\/p>\n
It is about having more understanding, as recipient and sender. If you are at the older end of gen Z and above, try not to judge, for instance, the brain rot and \u201cAI slop\u201d<\/a> that pings between younger people. \u201cI think those are huge levers for moral panic,\u201d says Sujon, with the suggestion that young people are becoming more stupid. \u201cBrain rot is a low-demand way of exchanging humour, in-jokes and language within youth culture. I\u2019m not saying we shouldn\u2019t take it seriously, because I think we should, but they are also playing. They\u2019re just wanting to have fun, and brain rot is the kind of material that\u2019s available to them, and which older people don\u2019t get.\u201d Don\u2019t even try to use it if you\u2019re older. It serves, says Sujon, as \u201can important purpose in protecting youth culture from older outsiders\u201d.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"It is not news that many of us are addicted to our phones and nor is it a…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":630995,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[59,86,56,54,55],"class_list":["post-630994","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-technology","tag-gb","tag-technology","tag-uk","tag-united-kingdom","tag-unitedkingdom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/630994","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=630994"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/630994\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/630995"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=630994"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=630994"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=630994"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}