My 92-year-old friend Anne Wennhold told me recently that she took a \u201cmini-vacation\u201d from the aging process. Why in the world would a 92-year-old take a break from aging? <\/p>\n
Well, Anne is no \u201cnormal\u201d ager. After retiring, she co-led multi-day eldering retreats for years, but decided in her late 80s that the travel involved was just too much. These days her work is conducted largely via Zoom. Periodically she offers an online class about the individual\u2019s \u201ctasks of aging\u201d into their late 80s and 90s<\/p>\n
I asked her once if I could join in, but she said I was too young. \u201cYou change a lot in your 80s\u2014physically, mentally, and spiritually,\u201d she said, \u201cand younger people don\u2019t get it yet.\u201d<\/p>\n
An avid writer herself, Anne has a couple memoir-writing groups she\u2019s facilitated for years; she also coaches writers in private, one-on-one sessions. Before the pandemic, she regularly led a drumming circle, went to dinners and classical music concerts with old friends, and periodically trekked west of the Hudson River Valley to see a couple she\u2019s very fond of. Anne is an independent, childfree elder aging in place on her own. <\/p>\n
Starting about five years ago, one by one Anne\u2019s close friends began moving into retirement<\/a> communities located far away, close to their adult children. With each relocation, Anne\u2019s world shrank. It didn\u2019t help when her landlord of 15 years sold the duplex she lived in. Finding a new place she could afford took months, ultimately necessitating a move several miles away from the little town she loved. The move was disorientating at first, but eventually Anne discovered new shopping and lunch sites. Still, she misses her old friends.<\/p>\n Despite all the goings-on in her life, Anne is acutely aware that her social world is collapsing. \u201cMaking new friends at my age is hard work,\u201d she confessed recently. Still, she\u2019s befriended a woman two decades her junior who lives down the hall. Recently she signed up for a watercolor class at the local senior center.<\/p>\n Instead of pushing herself to do even more, though, Anne chose a two-day mini-vacation in her own apartment. She gave herself a break, just for a short bit. Sleep figured prominently in Anne\u2019s plan. She snoozed whenever she wanted, ate whatever sounded good at the moment, and didn\u2019t bother getting dressed.<\/p>\n