The Game She Hated Without Knowing Why<\/p>\n
You probably know the game: A sibling<\/a> gets as close to your face as possible without technically touching, and says, with great satisfaction: \u201cI\u2019m not touching you.\u201d<\/p>\n For most children, it\u2019s annoying. For Jordan Davis, it was unbearable. She never understood why until she was an adult.<\/p>\n \u201cI never knew why I hated it so much,\u201d she tells me. \u201cNow I know it\u2019s because I don\u2019t like being touched. I\u2019m sensitive to that.\u201d<\/p>\n Jordan is the founder of the Canine Stroke Foundation<\/a>, an advocate for animal health, and someone who has spent most of her life being told she was difficult. She is also, as of recently, a person with a name for what she has been experiencing since childhood<\/a>: AuDHD, the co-occurrence of autism and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder<\/a>.<\/p>\n The diagnosis came unexpectedly. There was no crisis or collapse. It came from a face-to-face conversation with her mother.<\/p>\n The \u201cEureka\u201d Moment<\/p>\n Jordan\u2019s mother is a doctor and one of the most clinically informed people in her life. Yet when her mother was diagnosed as autistic<\/a> in her 70s, it was the first time either of them began to understand Jordan.<\/p>\n \u201cI immediately thought I needed to be assessed, because we are so similar,\u201d Jordan says. \u201cShe talked about a lifetime of bad memories due to social misunderstandings. It all made sense to her finally. I needed that clarity as well.\u201d<\/p>\n Autism has a strong hereditary component. A parent\u2019s diagnosis frequently illuminates a child\u2019s own experience, even when that child is already an adult. What makes Jordan\u2019s story unusual is the direction. Usually, it is a child\u2019s diagnosis that prompts a parent to recognize similar traits in themselves. For Jordan, it happened the other way around: Her mother\u2019s diagnosis gave her a way to understand experiences she had spent decades struggling to explain.<\/p>\n \u201cWe often get accused of being mean or rude when that was never the intention,\u201d Jordan says. \u201cAs I read more about autism, I recognized so many characteristics in myself.\u201d<\/p>\n Her mother, a physician, had not considered the possibility when Jordan was young. The reason may sound familiar to people who have encountered the challenges of neurodivergent diagnosis: \u201cI was verbal and a good student, so neurodivergency was never considered.\u201d<\/p>\n Understanding Autistic Meltdowns Misinterpreted as Bad Behavior <\/p>\n Autistic meltdowns are not tantrums. They are involuntary responses to sensory or emotional overload, and Jordan spent years not knowing that was what was happening to her.<\/p>\n Bright lights. Loud noises. Being touched. Being misunderstood. <\/p>\n \u201cAfter a while of it, I would \u2018melt down.\u2019 I always feel like the worst person in the world afterwards, so I try hard not to get to that point.\u201d<\/p>\n The person experiencing meltdowns has no more control over it than someone has over a stress<\/a>-induced migraine<\/a>. But they look, from the outside, like bad behaviour. And they are treated as such.<\/p>\n \u201cNo one ever tried to explain or address what was happening,\u201d Jordan says. \u201cPunishment<\/a> for that behavior won\u2019t change the behavior. It’s involuntary.\u201d<\/p>\n Her advice to adults caring for children like her is simple: \u201cFind the cause. Ask your child what they are feeling. Ask if sounds, lights, or physical sensations are making it worse. Once you understand triggers, it\u2019s easier to avoid them.\u201d<\/p>\n The Medication Problem Nobody Warned Her About<\/p>\n For Jordan, getting a diagnosis brought another set of difficulties.<\/p>\n