{"id":742537,"date":"2026-08-19T03:40:08","date_gmt":"2026-08-19T03:40:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/742537\/"},"modified":"2026-08-19T03:40:08","modified_gmt":"2026-08-19T03:40:08","slug":"loss-grief-and-eventually-joy-once-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/742537\/","title":{"rendered":"Loss, Grief, and Eventually Joy Once Again"},"content":{"rendered":"

Over the course of my ten years of Psychology Today submissions, I have explored various topics within my own life\u2019s journey. One of the most profound for me and my readers has been the experience of loss, grief<\/a>, and surviving traumas<\/a> to ultimately embrace joy with gratitude<\/a> once again.<\/p>\n

After my best friend and sister-in-law Marilyn\u2019s death, I examined such loss in my two Psychology Today posts: \u201cGrief: From Darkness to Light (9\/14\/21), and \u201cWe Actually Can Survive Incredible Loss\u201d (10\/27\/21). As I explored my personal heartache, I shared my daily ritual of saying “good morning” to Marilyn as my computer wakes to the screen saver. On display is the picture of us both taken during my book signing, which she organized for me (of course!). She beams with pride and amazement that her little sister wrote a book. \u201cThat\u2019s my sister,\u201d she would say when someone picked up the book to examine. \u201cShe\u2019ll autograph it for you.\u201d <\/p>\n

With such a recent loss, I explored how it is even possible to live without her. I wanted the world to stop, rest on its axis, and suspend its movement. How did others laugh, eat, and play, when I was frozen in grief? But as the months have progressed, and I have slowly experience a lightness. I hear Marilyn\u2019s quiet, steady voice within as I tell her about my day. \u201cI\u2019m always proud of you, Barbara. Keep going!\u201d<\/p>\n

After I wrote my post about Marilyn\u2019s loss, a reader reached out to me. In her own tremendous grief, she found solace in my writing by substituting Marilyn\u2019s name for the name of her lost love and, in doing so, she began to heal. She re-read my words daily and found herself slowly joining life again. <\/p>\n

When Marilyn started hospice, she talked to me about her feelings, about dying, and about acceptance. While I wanted to deny her words, I listened. She also shared the joy of our friendship<\/a>, stating, \u201cWe are so lucky. I don\u2019t know anyone who has what we have had.\u201d She embraced such gratitude, despite such sadness. Not once did she ever say, “Why me?” while the rest of us surely felt that way. And once again, she taught me the hardest lesson of all.<\/p>\n

Today\u2019s writing purposely occurs on the 5th anniversary of Marilyn\u2019s passing, for I needed to write; I had to write to honor Marilyn\u2019s memory<\/a> and to process my continued loss. I can instantly flash to those dreadfully painful weeks leading up to her death. Instead, I hold on to what I learned from her well-lived years. In my post, \u201cMy Friend Taught Me, and I Listened,\u201d (2\/28\/22), I share one lesson I never wanted to learn from Marilyn but was forced to accept: how to die gracefully. <\/p>\n

I write this entry today for myself. It is the way in which I make sense of the world, my world. When I feel pain, my tears transform into letters and words cathartically laced together. Yet, no words are enough to reflect my loss as well as my rich gains in loving and losing Marilyn. I honor her loss by living my life the way she would have wanted me to\u2014fully! Grief is this way: a mixture of disbelief, sadness, elements of acceptance, all entwined with a deep love for the gifts from my dear sister and best friend.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Over the course of my ten years of Psychology Today submissions, I have explored various topics within my…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":742538,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[59,57,58,50,56,54,55],"class_list":["post-742537","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-united-kingdom","tag-gb","tag-great-britain","tag-greatbritain","tag-news","tag-uk","tag-united-kingdom","tag-unitedkingdom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/742537","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=742537"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/742537\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/742538"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=742537"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=742537"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=742537"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}