If I had my way, nobody would call me on my birthday. <\/p>\n
Every year, the calls start in the morning and keep coming well into the evening. Each call sounds like some version of this: \u201cHappy birthday! How does it feel to be a year older? What are you doing to celebrate?\u201d<\/p>\n
I give the same answers, make some small talk, and go through an awkward goodbye. By the end of the day, I\u2019ve spent more time on the phone than on what I had actually planned. <\/p>\n
A \u201chappy birthday\u201d text would be great. So would a card or an email. I\u2019d read each one and probably respond with something more thoughtful than I can manage on an unscheduled phone call. <\/p>\n
And yes, I know how this sounds. Rude, ungrateful, obnoxious. These are people who love me and want to help me celebrate, which is why I do pick up the phone on my birthday, unless I\u2019m in the middle of something.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s not just on my birthday, though, that I don\u2019t want to answer the phone. And I\u2019m not alone in that. A 2024 Uswitch survey<\/a> found that a quarter of 18-to-34-year-olds never answer calls and 70 percent prefer texts. To many older adults, that reads as disrespectful. But here\u2019s what’s happening on our end.<\/p>\n Why We Avoid Phone Calls<\/p>\n It demands immediate attention.<\/p>\n A text waits until I\u2019m ready to respond. A phone call requires my attention right here, right now. Because I don\u2019t work a typical 9-to-5, people often assume I\u2019m free at any hour. When the phone rings in the middle of a focused work block, answering means dropping everything and rebuilding my concentration<\/a> later.<\/p>\n It requires a live performance.<\/p>\n Picking up the phone means being \u201con.\u201d I have to answer in real time, with no chance to pause and choose my words. Texting gives me a safety net (and a backspace button). Calls also come with small talk I didn\u2019t sign up for and an uncomfortable goodbye that takes three attempts to complete. It\u2019s all doable, but it is draining.<\/p>\n It feels inefficient.<\/p>\n I have a mug on my desk that says, \u201cThis should have been an email.\u201d Calls rarely stick to the question someone called about. Someone calls to ask what time dinner is on Sunday, and 20 minutes later, we\u2019ve discussed the weather and politics<\/a>. And while I enjoy catching up, I\u2019d rather do it when I can give the conversation my full attention. For a quick question, a text gets the answer across in seconds and leaves a record I can scroll back to.<\/p>\n It creates unnecessary anxiety<\/a>.<\/p>\n