With gas prices down, my Brooklyn brother was happy to report that he pays less than $3 per gallon.
Regrettably, here in San Diego, we’re still paying considerably more.
Apparently, that price difference provided yet another opportunity for my brother to repeat his familiar refrain suggesting I made a mistake moving to San Diego.
Since I live in California, he maintained, it’s costing me about $300 more per year for gas.
So I asked him what the temperature in Brooklyn was.
“Fourteen degrees,” he grudgingly replied.
But with the wind-chill factor, it was 10 below.
I told him that here the temperature was 80, but with the wind-chill factor, it was still 80.
I also learned that it was snowing there.
He had to clear the mounting drifts from the many stairs that lead to his door.
He applied salt to every step because the ice beneath the snow made it risky to attempt to climb them.
So while he scatters salt to melt the ice, I told him we’re more likely to use it to season fries.
Not a snowflake can be seen in San Diego. (Irv Erdos / For The San Diego Union-Tribune)
It used to take him about an hour of shoveling to free his car from several feet of drifts, but that’s no longer a burden since his car was stolen.
That theft would never have happened had his car been in a garage, but that assumes those multimillion-dollar homes in the area had one.
After he clears and salts the steps, he stays in the house where it’s warm.
I told him that here we spent the day at the beach.
But while it’s fair to suggest that gas prices are considerably less in Brooklyn, the average price of a home there is about $3 million more.
Not to mention, that multimillion-dollar home of his is attached on both sides, is only 18 feet wide, has no garage, and is located on a heavily trafficked street with bus fumes, while here, our single-story home sits on a half-acre, costs several million less, and is located on a quiet cul-de-sac.
But although neither my brother nor his neighbors have any trees, I did read somewhere that a tree does grow in Brooklyn.
In truth, although my brother’s property is devoid of vegetation, his street holds several leafless trees, which I would more accurately term kindling.
I told him that our home includes a couple of avocado trees, several orange trees, lemons, peaches and apricots.
Also a lush green lawn, and a vegetable garden.
Although his property has no vegetation, he does grow basil in a flowerpot on his windowsill.
Since his car was stolen, he uses the subway or a taxi to get around.
I explained that for a fraction of those Brooklyn home prices, he could have a lovely single-story detached home here in sunny San Diego, along with a car, a garage, warm temperatures, a garden, trees, plus a location not far from the shore.
Sadly, he declined my suggestion. I’m not sure why.
Maybe it’s those low gas prices.
Erdos is a freelance humor columnist. Contact him at irverdos@aol.com.