Blink, blink, blink. Ah, the power of flashing taillights.
It’s become a way of the road in San Diego County. Feel like stopping in the middle of the road? Double parking for you? Just put on the flashing taillights.
After all, UPS and FedEx do it, delivering packages and danger. Those drivers are supposed to be quick, but in your case, take whatever time you want.
Blocking one way of traffic? Forcing others to pass where there can be onrushing traffic? Don’t be concerned. Your selfish needs rule over being courteous and polite.
Here’s a double bonus: Do it in the middle-of-the-road left-turn lanes. Be like large trucks whose purpose is to deliver goods to a nearby convenience store. Or how about large tow truck-type monstrosities dropping off vehicles to a roadside car dealer?
By the way, they’re called left-turn lanes, but in today’s usage, they’ve become merging lanes. Can’t correctly complete your turn coming out of a parking lot? Just do half first and sit in a left-turn lane to merge right eventually. If you need to move forward — yes, drive in the left-turn lane — no problem. That’s as safe as can be. Anybody there actually making a left turn from a left-turn lane? What a nuisance, right?
Notice those curbs painted red? In days of old, that signified no parking. How quaint, because those spots can be used for temporary parking. Just put on those flashing taillights. In that regard, following the example of the USPS. Surely, these federal workers endorse truth, justice and the American way of ignoring traffic laws. Forget that there’s a safety reason for red curbs as well as the new daylighting laws even when curbs aren’t painted.
Granted, where else can the postal workers park? Often, there’s curb-to-curb street parking. That beats using a garage or carport. Wait, don’t insurers reward homeowners for parking off-street (on their own property)? Yes, they feel it’s safer to do so. Sure, but why do safety and insurance discounts matter when garages can instead be loaded with junk, not cars?
Now, onto red lights. Should you be first in line, consider yourself a line leader. Hearken back to elementary school days when that meant being responsible and setting a good example. Or forget that. Why pay attention to the signals? Instead, utilize the time by texting, doing your nails, combing your hair, or best of all, taking a midday siesta. All this may entail being late when the light eventually turns green. But no problem, you’ll still get across. It’s the guy way back in line who won’t make it. Oh, well.
When it comes to parking lots, why not back into your spot? After all, nothing can clog up matters like that. Let others watch and wait while showing your expertise at the procedure or lack thereof. Remember you’re the one who counts most. By the way, if you simply pull into a spot, it’s quite simple to later back out, but that would be, well, too simple. So there are the ways of the road.
Stay safe. Blink, blink, blink.
Thien is a writer who lives in Escondido.