Can someone please explain to me this fascination we Americans have with Halloween?

Oh, I think I understand the attraction of dressing up and playing make-believe. It’s a great way to stimulate the imagination of youngsters. (I got in trouble once when I was 9 or 10 by playing doctor, but that’s another story.)

Disney has made Halloween costumes a lucrative sideline, and understandably so. What little girl doesn’t want to be a princess (preferably the strong kind like the Frozen sisters)? What little boy can resist the lure of Luke Skywalker, or Darth Vader on the Dark Side?

As much as we like to think we’re buying or making these costumes for the kids, the reality is that this Halloween tradition is more for the parents. My kids are the cutest ones on the block!

I remember when we had the Grunion office on Second Street in Belmont Shore and participated in the Halloween candy giveaway. The kids liked the candy, but the parents – or grandparents, or adult siblings – were most interested in the photo booth. Maybe the kids’ picture would be in the paper!

Speaking of candy, I’ve pointed out before that Halloween has become the tool of candy companies. Literally billions of dollars are spent each year on candy wrapped in “snack size” pieces.

I don’t understand how, in this enviro-conscious age we live in, we continue to not just allow but support this idea of individually wrapped bites of candy. The litter that results is unconscionable. Do you get up early Nov. 1 to patrol the yard for stray wrappers before they hit the storm drain? Of course I do.

If I could just get the apple tree to give up a few more pieces of fruit, we could give that to the trick-or-treaters. Or how about dumping a tablespoon full of loose candy corn into those plastic pumpkins the kids carry? I’d try, but I don’t want to face the crowd of angry parents.

There should be a mandatory age cutoff when kids can no longer trick-or-treat. I vaguely recall running around with my pack of 12-year-old friends, pllowcases in hand, trying to see how many pounds of candy we could amass – and woe to the little kiddies who got in our way. That’s just wrong.

More commonly, the youngsters age themselves out of the ritual. The preferred options seem to be haunted houses, scary mazes or gory movies.

The scary maze thing has exploded over the last 20 or 30 years, with major theme parks – Universal Studios, Knott’s Scary Farm, Six Flags, etc. – making money hand over fist for more than a month before Halloween. Purists weren’t too crazy about it when the Queen Mary started its own Halloween scare setup (first called Shipwreck, now Dark Harbor), but it literally helped keep the old girl afloat.

I’ve gone to my share of these things, trying to discover what makes them so popular. I suppose it’s the adrenaline rush of the jump scare, combined with the knowledge that there’s really nothing that’s going to hurt you. Here’s an insider tip: the first rule for scarers during training is that there is no touching of the scaree. That’s a firing offense.

I’ve been blessed with a life that has not included truly scary or dangerous experiences. No one has shot at me, I’ve not had to deal with a bloody car crash or the like. So why would I pay good money to put myself in pretend situations of mayhem? Well, last year’s till for the scary mazes alone came to more than $500 million nationwide.

And that doesn’t include corn mazes!

Then there are the movies.

I’ve been a Stephen King fan since the book Salem’s Lot, and I’ve seen most of the movie adaptations – “The Shining” is in my all-time top 10 right next to “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.” But I have no interest in the oh-so-popular slasher films like “Halloween” or the “Nightmare on Elm Street” series that has made Freddy Krueger a household name.

I cannot fathom what the attraction is. What’s the point of watching graphic gore?

Perhaps it’s an iteration of the scary maze phenomenon. There’s the adrenaline from the danger of pain and death along with the safety of knowing it’s a movie, not reality.

It’s make-believe.

And I’m a great fan of make-believe. I love science fiction, read a lot of mysteries, even a fantasy series or three. I get a real kick out of the lovely Maria’s Halloween decorations, where she puts her Disneyland pumpkins (that’s a thing) in fanciful scenarios.

I’ll even admit to a few ‘ahhs’ for little kids in costumes.

So I guess I have to say it, and say it sincerely.

Happy Halloween.