San Diego’s high gas prices and rising cost of living are putting pressure on many households — and, in some cases, straining relationships.
Financial stress can quickly lead to disagreements, especially when couples are struggling to make ends meet or facing growing credit card debt. But, experts say, avoiding conversations about money can make things worse.
Love and finances
For Gabriela and Jemaree, the challenge became clear shortly after moving from Texas to San Diego. With a new baby and higher expenses, their income didn’t stretch as far as it once did.
Jemaree and Gabriela smile after muscling through what they call a stressful financial chapter that tested their love for each other.
“We’re great now, but it was rough at the beginning financially; we were struggling,” they said, remembering how the financial pressure led to frequent arguments.
“It was stressful because she was only like 5 months at the time,” she said, pointing to her baby looking up at mom from her stroller.
Chase Peckham with the San Diego Financial Literacy Center said this situation is common for couples trying to manage a shared budget.
“It’s incredibly difficult to be on the same page all the time,” Peckham said. “And yet, if you’re not, it can be catastrophic to your budget.”
How to discuss money with your loved one
Chase Peckham from the San Diego Financial Literacy Center explains how couples can take control over their finances.
Peckham said couples often avoid discussing finances until problems arise, which can make the situation more difficult to resolve. Instead, he recommends having regular, proactive conversations about money — even when finances are stable.
“My late wife and I used to have what we called our company meeting monthly, we would have a beer or two, and we would sit at the table,” Peckham recalled on how the strategy allowed them to better track the family budget and keep it from getting away from them.
During those conversations, couples should review their budget together — tracking income, expenses and rising costs, such as gasoline. They should also account for surprises that took a bite out of their finances, and plan for both short- and long-term financial goals.
Couples should aim at what’s known as the 50-30-20 budgeting model: 50% of income for essentials, 30% for discretionary spending and 20% for savings.
For couples who prefer more financial independence, another option is maintaining separate personal accounts while contributing a set amount to a shared account for household expenses.
“That is a perfectly legit way of going about it as long as you know that everybody’s contributing to that household budget,” Peckham said.
Gabriela and Jemaree said working through their financial struggles ultimately strengthened their relationship.
“Now, looking back at it … I think it was a great family experience,” Gabriela said with a laugh — a nervous one.
Experts say those kinds of open, ongoing conversations are key — even for single-income households — because everyone contributes to a home in different ways.
This story was originally reported for broadcast by NBC San Diego. AI tools helped convert the story to a digital article, and an NBC San Diego journalist edited the article for publication.