I was raised a Muslim American, or American Muslim, or whatever identity fits. I am one of you. This week, two individuals, so full of hate and disillusionment with the world, decided that they would externalize it by targeting the Islamic Center of San Diego. At the time, there were more than 140 teachers and children at the center’s school. The only reason we are talking about a tragedy and not a massacre today is because of three heroes, or “three pillars of the community,” as Imam Taha Hassane of the Islamic Center of San Diego called them. They are security guard Amin Abdullah, shop and groundskeeper Mansour Kaziha (known as “Abu Ezz”) and Nadir Awad.
I’ve been thinking a lot about their last moments. Did they know that they might die? You may or may not know this, but the perpetrators livestreamed their attack on Discord, a social media platform. I’ll save you the trouble of watching the footage. Fortunately, the camera is facing the ground most of the time, so we can avoid most of the gore.
From what I can glean, after Amin had sacrificed his life, Abu Ezz chased the teens before he was chased himself. It doesn’t surprise me that he did. There was a time when I was the “rebellious” teen that Abu Ezz chased through the mosque (when I used to sneak onto the roof or into locked classrooms during Ramadan).
There’s also Nadir, whose wife, Khairat, has taught at the mosque’s school for decades. So enmeshed with the community that they lived across the street. So close that Nadir ran over when he heard gunshots.
A tweet Wednesday morning by lecturer Marchella Ward resonated with me: “I think the discourse that is trying to frame the Islamic Center of San Diego as the best place on Earth full of super-humanly helpful people is well-meaning, and a genuine attempt to counter Islamophobic demonisation. But Muslims should not have to be nice not to be killed.” We will continue to hear about the victims’ heroic feats and their life stories over the next few days and weeks, and while that is important, it continues to break my heart that this needs to be done after the fact, not before a tragedy.
I don’t blame the kids for what they did. While 17 and 18, they were kids, and kids are impressionable. No one is born with hate in their heart. It is taught by caretakers, teachers, parents, the media, and, in this day and age, online chat groups.
To those with a following and a voice, I implore you to be careful with your language. The way you speak about people, the way you express your beliefs matters. We can disagree peacefully, but when you dehumanize, when you denigrate, when you normalize hate, this is what happens.
Al Baghdadi is a community member from Clairemont.