Published Jun. 19, 2026at9:00am
No one said relationships were easy. But here in the city that invented free love, the dating app, gay marriage, orgasmic meditation, and OpenAI, don’t the highs seem higher and the lows lower? We think so. And we want to hear all about it.
Hard Feelings is a new personal essay column launching this summer that will explore love, sex, dating, and mating in San Francisco. We seek true, Bay Area-based stories that speak to both the universal challenges of relationships, marriage and children as well as the more experimental aspects of partnering up at the edge of the continent — from sex parties in Soma to sperm banks in Berkeley to postponing divorce because of your astronomical rent. Please follow these guidelines to have your essay considered:
We want first-person narratives of 1,000-1,300 words that have a beginning, middle, and end — not abstract thought pieces. Your essay can express a strong conclusion or opinion, as long as you tell us how you got there in detail. We want to know what happened to you.You may change people’s first names to preserve their anonymity, but your byline must reflect your real name. The events portrayed must be true, with no composite characters or scenes and no invented dialogue. We will not accept essays previously published in full on any other media site or platform including Substack, Medium, blogs, or personal newsletters. Do not submit any writing that has been created or modified by generative-AI tools. (Though we do want to hear about your AI boyfriends and girlfriends!)
To submit, paste your essay directly into the body of an email. Briefly introduce yourself in the email and feel free to link to your socials or other published clips, but you needn’t be a professional writer to submit. Send the email to [email protected] with your best shot at a descriptive title in the subject line:
— I’m Young and Straight and I’ve Sworn Off Dating
— My Wife Cheated on Me With an AI Bot
— I Came Out as Trans and Suddenly the World Made Sense
— Breaking Up With a Polycule Isn’t as Easy as You’d Think
If accepted, your essay will be edited for clarity, pacing, tone, and length. You will be involved in each stage of the editing process. Payment is $400.
Due to the volume of submissions, we will likely only respond to essays we intend to use in the foreseeable future. If you don’t hear back from us within a month, you can assume your essay wasn’t a fit for our current needs, but feel free to pitch us again with a different story.