Martha Hendee Gillingham
OBITUARY
Martha Hendee Gillingham passed peacefully at home in Blossom Valley, California on May 29, 2026 at 95 years old. She was preceded in death by her husband, David Ray Gillingham, MD in 2023. Martha will be remembered as a Navy wife, mother of six, master organizer, gifted home decorator, event planner, antique lover and avid San Diego Padres fan.
Our mother was born in Tulsa, Oklahoma, to Robert and Elinor Hendee. Her father was a petroleum engineer and soon moved the family to Colorado Springs where Mom attended high school. She attended Pomona College in California where she met our father in a mandatory music appreciation class. They were married in December 1952, and for the next 70 plus years Dad referred to her as “his bride.” Dad reported for duty with the Navy in Washington, DC about a month after their wedding while Mom was still in school. Their first born, Dave, appeared in 1953 and their number two son Bob was born in 1955 after a Navy transfer to Seattle. Number three son Bruce was born in El Segundo, California in 1959 just as the family was moving to Denver for Dad’s medical school. Bookending the Denver experience, number four son Jim was born in 1963 just as Dad re-entered the Navy and was sent to the naval hospital at Jacksonville, Florida. Mom got her first indoctrination into Navy humor by having to close the house in Denver and transport four boys to Florida – with no help! After a year in Florida, the family moved to Groton, Connecticut for our father’s assignment to submarines. For the next two years he was deployed half the time, leaving all parental duties to our mother. Corralling four boys under the age of 12 had to be a challenge! In the next change of duty station, the family moved to Coronado in 1966, and Libby – daughter number one, was born shortly thereafter. Amy – daughter number two was born in 1971, a brief 18 years after Dave was born! After our father retired in 2004, Mom and Dad moved to Palm Desert, California where she enjoyed playing bridge, reading and rooting for the Padres.
For more than 40 years our mother nurtured her family and kept everybody headed in the right direction. When not managing family issues she enjoyed antiquing, home decorating – most notably the restoration of the Spreckels mansion in Coronado – and collecting antique needlework and Norman Rockwell prints. Our Mother ensured all her children had all the opportunities we wanted and some opportunities we didn’t know we wanted, including Colorado River raft trips, the Old Globe Theater and Starlight musicals. Mom was a master organizer and dinner celebrations at the family homestead came with detailed work assignments for the many participants.
Mom is survived by: Dave (Sue) a retired Naval Officer and real estate broker/developer; Bob (Listy) a retired elementary school principal; Bruce (Jeannette) a retired Navy Rear Admiral and orthopedic surgeon; Jim (Gretchen) an elementary school teacher and woodworker; Libby (Brinton) a foster Mom and a primary caregiver for our mother the last years of her life, and Amy (Rich) – beekeeper, swimmer and family master planner. In addition, Mom leaves a legacy of 26 grandchildren and 14 great-grandchildren.
A joint memorial service for our parents will take place at Miramar National Cemetery in the near future.