In addition to the growing list of sexualities, we’re expanding how we look at our relationships. Whether you’re monogamous, open, or living in a pansexual polycule, love is love. Daniel, Will, and Caleb, the hosts of the A Little Throuple Tea podcast, have invited the world into their unique relationship to show them the ins and outs of throuple life.
This tell-all podcast is one part of 3Dudes1Life Creative, which also includes a romantic memoir series, Tres Amigos, Una Vida, and a budding lifestyle brand that’s destigmatizing living and loving in a threesome.
You’ve got Will, the HBIC with the clipboard and mastermind behind creating this whole enterprise. You’ve got Caleb, the grounded, pragmatic one with a dry sense of humor. Then there’s Daniel, the creative who brings humor, creativity, and spirituality into the mix.
The guys took some time to share their origin story and how they make it all work. They are also quick to dispel any fantastical fixations and morbid misconceptions about their romance. They’re direct, plainspoken, and most importantly grounded in a relationship they’ve built that works for them.
So how did you all meet?
Will: I moved to Southern California from South Dakota in 2006 for college and met Caleb later that year before going out to Rich’s one night. He was in the Navy, and our friends set us up. We have been together ever since.
In 2010, we met Daniel through nightlife and started a friendship. We actually tried the “throuple” thing back in 2011, but it didn’t last long. We continued our friendship after that, but in 2016, after a trip to the Dominican Republic, our second attempt at a throuple began. Since then, we have been together for over a decade, enjoying this wild ride called life.
Caleb: I came from a small city in West Texas, Lubbock. I was 20 at the time, renting a cheap hotel in downtown, and drinking with shipmates was the usual. After seeing places like Australia, Hong Kong, Japan, Dubai, and Malaysia, I had a shipmate tell me about her friend who was single. By the time we got back to port, her single friend was no longer single, but they did introduce me to Will.
He tried to seduce me by introducing himself in just a towel, which worked. After going out that night, we started to hang out every weekend. And then soon after that, I was moving in with him, and the rest is history.
Daniel was an avid bar goer who spent at least 6 nights a week bar hopping. Will, being the hip-hop DJ that he is, would draw Daniel and his friends to his dance floor. Soon after, they started talking on Facebook and a friendship blossomed. One night, when Will was DJing, Daniel and his friends, of course, came out to dance. I came out later that night, and when I went to go say hi to Will, he told me that Daniel was there and pointed him out on the dance floor.
The night was mostly a blur after that from shots, drinks, Daniel backing it up on me, and ending with some greasy food. I’m pretty sure they all crashed at our place that night cause pretty much every weekend after that, Daniel and his friends were crashing at our place.
Daniel: We all met in Hillcrest while Will was DJing back in 2010. I had always known who Will was from the local scene, but our actual introduction happened when he sent me a Facebook message offering to get me into the bar for free. That night, I met both Will and Caleb, and the rest is history.
What do you feel is the biggest misconception about being in a throuple?
Daniel: The biggest misconception is that a throuple is all about sex. In reality, our relationship is like any other. We have conversations, challenges, ups and downs, quality time together, and yes, intimacy too. It’s all about balance.
Caleb: I think that the biggest misconception is that because we are a polyamorous relationship, we are open in our relationship. Now, yes, Will and I weren’t open per-say but we did have some hot, heated times, and we always played together. I think if we didn’t have some occasional fun together, the idea of being a throuple would have been out of the question. But as soon as we became an official throuple, we closed the door and are monogamous now.
Will: That someone must be a “homewrecker” or that the original couple must not have been happy together. It’s almost as if people think adding a third person will somehow fix a struggling relationship. For us, the evolution from friendship to partners happened naturally. Adding a third personality and dynamic to a relationship doesn’t fix problems—if anything, it requires a lot more communication, trust, and work to make it successful.
Another misconception is that it’s just a phase. Maybe for some people it is, but for us it definitely isn’t. We’ve built a life together, and in the end, it has made all three of us better men.
What inspired the podcast?
Caleb: This is a Will question, lol. After having a great success with an LGBTQ+ day at state and county fairs called “Out at the Fair”, current political views quickly turned what was a successful, family-friendly LGBTQ+ day into the “red-headed stepchild” no one wanted.
So Will did what any CEO would do; he pivoted! He saw how popular “Out at the Fair” was, along with a few side hustles; we had an Etsy that was gaining traction, and for some reason people wanted to know who we were. So he started a blog. Then the blog very quickly became the podcast.
Will: We have been told for years that we should record our life and share our story. Over the last year, I experienced some major changes in our business, and it gave us the opportunity to pivot in a new direction.
Instead of dwelling on things we couldn’t control, we decided to turn that frustration and uncertainty into a creative project. That’s how the podcast was born. It became a way for us to share our experiences, our relationship, and the ups and downs of life with the world.
When we first got together, there really weren’t many examples of long-term throuples living normal lives. We wanted people to see that our life isn’t all that different from anyone else’s. We work, pay bills, argue about dinner, take care of our dogs, and try to build a future together.
At the end of the day, it’s really just three guys talking about life, love, chaos, and everything in between—and people seem to connect with that.
Daniel: The inspiration mainly came from our Instagram page. We get a lot of questions about how our relationship works, where we’re from, and how we met. With the following we built on Instagram, Will had the idea of starting a podcast and sharing more of our lives through conversations on a mic and camera. The podcast gives people a chance to hear answers to their questions while also seeing our authentic personalities, how we communicate, and how much we tease each other. It’s been a lot of fun to create.
Do you think anyone could be in a throuple, or do you feel you’re uniquely suited for each other?
Will: I don’t think being in a throuple is for everyone, and that’s okay. We can tell by some of the reactions, facial expressions, and comments we receive that it isn’t something everyone understands or would want for themselves.
But for the people it does work for, it can be amazing—and really, that’s all that matters. At the end of the day, every relationship is unique. Ours just happens to have three people instead of two.
Daniel: I think anyone could be in a throuple if the connection, communication, and mutual respect are there. That said, I’ve had many people tell me they couldn’t do it because they’d be too jealous or wouldn’t want to share their partner. I understand that feeling. In my experience, jealousy often shows up when someone doesn’t feel secure, equal, or heard. Communication is what helps navigate those feelings. When everyone feels valued and understood, a throuple can be an incredibly loving and supportive relationship.
Caleb: No, I don’t think a throuple is for everyone. They are not for the weak-hearted. And I feel like you have to be emotionally mature. I say that because, like all relationships, jealousy can play a huge role, especially when there are more than 2 people in a relationship.
What do you think is the secret to your relationship success?
Daniel: I call it the “triangle of support.” We’re able to balance each other and lean on one another. If a misunderstanding or disagreement happens, the third person can often provide perspective and help us better understand each other. I also think our success comes from the fact that we were friends first. We know each other deeply, understand how each person communicates, and genuinely enjoy spending time together.
Will: Communication. I know most would say, ‘Well, duh,’ but when you add a third personality, family, career, schedule, and life into the mix, communication becomes even more important. If you aren’t talking about everything and anything, it’s easy for someone to feel left out or not included. Honestly, our group chat is ridiculous, but it’s also one of the reasons we thrive. We stay connected throughout the day, work through issues as they come up, and make sure everyone feels heard. It may sound simple, but consistent communication has been the foundation of our relationship’s success.
Caleb: I guess really there’s nothing different than a traditional relationship. We try to make a monthly date night, we take vacations together, we give each other our space when we need it and support each other when it’s too hard to stand. And of course we try to keep it spicy in the bedroom. It is easier to spice things up when you have 2 ‘joysticks’ to play with.
What would you say is the most important aspect of your relationship?
Daniel: Communication and the ability to be silly together. We joke with each other constantly, and that keeps life fun. Being able to laugh together makes even stressful situations feel a little lighter.
Will: The most important aspect of our relationship is knowing that none of us ever has to face life alone. No matter how bad the day is or how difficult a situation becomes, there is always someone there to lean on. We call it our “triangle of support.” When one of us is struggling, the other two are there to help carry the load. At the end of the day, knowing you are loved, supported, and never alone is a pretty powerful thing.
Caleb: Us 3 are all totally different personalities! I think that’s why we work so great together. Otherwise life would just be too boring.
Check out their 3Dudes1Life app to access their podcast, their book, and more!
And look for more of these guys on the Los Angeles Blade. Part 2 of our interview with them, answering relationship questions, is on the way, and we will be sharing the latest episodes of their podcast right here!