This was not the week to turn the television off early.
With 12 one-score games, which is tied for the most in one day in NFL history, Week 3 delivered. Even in some ugly matchups.
Oh, and we had another international game controversy.
Here is where the 49ers sit after their 36-30 win over the Arizona Cardinals and heading into “Monday Night Football:”
32. Miami Dolphins (Last week: 32)
Record: 0-3
There already were zero reasons to watch this team, but now that De’Von Achane is hurt, you must be a real sicko to tune in to Dolphins football.
31. Tennessee Titans (Last week: 31)
Record: 0-3
Cam Ward and the Tennessee offense is averaging just over 12 points per game through three weeks. No sign of a Year 2 leap.
30. New York Jets (Last week: 30)
Record: 1-2
The Jets feel like this year’s elegant tanking team, because Geno Smith’s not even playing that bad. He was awesome on Sunday.
29. Arizona Cardinals (Last week: 27)
Record: 1-2
Arizona’s offense is nothing if not scrappy. Its defense is just straight up nothing. More empty-calorie stats for Jacoby Brissett.
28. Cleveland Browns (Last week: 28)
Record: 2-1
With a half-decent defense, Deshaun Watson can just be mediocre and maybe fall ass backwards into seven wins.
27. New York Giants (Last week: 25)
Record: 2-1
You know what, a win is a win. Zero turnovers from Jameis Winston, too. That’s about as good as it gets. Just don’t go look at the score.
26. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Last week: 23)
Record: 0-3
I’m not sure Baker Mayfield’s going to survive the season. I’m talking about physically, but interpret that how you will. He’s also been awful.
25. Washington Commanders (Last week: 26)
Record: 1-2
Marcus Mariota came on for his annual “Oh, wow, he still can play” appearance. And boy, was it a big one, taking down the defending champs in place of Jayden Daniels.
24. Atlanta Falcons (Last week: 29)
Record: 1-2
A semi-competent quarterback like Michael Penix can make a world of difference for the likes of Bijan Robinson and Drake London, who combined for 407 all-purpose yards.
23. Los Angeles Chargers (Last week: 19)
Record: 0-3
The gauntlet is underway, and it’s off to a predictable start. It could get much worse, and I might declare the Bolts dead in a week or two.
22. Indianapolis Colts (Last week: 22)
Record: 1-2
Good special teams and defense were the recipe on Sunday against, perhaps, an equally mid opponent.
21. Carolina Panthers (Last week: 21)
Record: 1-2
Back down to Earth goes Bryce Young. He still is among the league leaders in passing yards, though, which almost certainly will not last.
20. New Orleans Saints (Last week: 20)
Record: 1-2
Tyler Shough and the Saints might be 3-0 if he stopped turning the ball over. He also might be an early MVP frontrunner, too. But alas.
19. Green Bay Packers (Last week: 14)
Record: 1-2
Jordan Love looked bad. The offensive line looked bad. The running game looked bad. It all looks bad, and I don’t see a solution in sight.
18. Dallas Cowboys (Last week: 17)
Record: 1-2
It was the defense. It’s always the defense. It forever will be the defense. FIX THE DEFENSE, JERRY.
17. Las Vegas Raiders (Last week: 24)
Record: 3-0
My early investment in Las Vegas is looking great. Welcome back, Brock Bowers. This is the Raiders, though, so we still need to see more before they shoot up much higher.
16. Pittsburgh Steelers (Last week: 18)
Record: 2-1
A nice day for Aaron Rodgers and Jaylen Warren. Pittsburgh actually looked like it had an offense for the first time all year.
15. Houston Texans (Last week: 16)
Record: 0-3
The defense was hung out to dry by Houston’s perpetually mediocre offense, and now the Texans find themselves in an early season hole. They’ve dug themselves out of them in the past …
14. New England Patriots (Last week: 9)
Record: 1-2
Drake Maye is on Fraud Watch. He’s looked terrible through three weeks and it seems like New England might go from Super Bowl to missing the playoffs altogether.
13. Chicago Bears (Last week: 11)
Record: 1-1
(Monday Night Football)
12. Minnesota Vikings (Last week: 15)
Record: 3-0
Minnesota’s defense continues to carry it week in and week out while the offense is a jumbled mess. Kyler Murray is back, but now Justin Jefferson is hurt.
11. Cincinnati Bengals (Last week: 10)
Record: 2-1
Joe Burrow and all his weapons looked good. The defense just stunk it up. Every week Cincy continues to prove it’s back.
10. Denver Broncos (Last week: 6)
Record: 2-1
Denver’s recipe: Play elite defense and putrid offense for three quarters before barely squeaking it out in the end. They did it again on Sunday night against one of the league’s best. You never can count Bo Nix out.
9. Detroit Lions (Last week: 13)
Record: 2-1
That looked more like the Lions we expected this season. It’s almost impossible to beat them when Jared Goff is as efficient as he was.
8. Jacksonville Jaguars (Last week: 12)
Record: 2-1
Putting belt-to-ass against the reigning AFC Champs? Was this the passing of the torch? Could be …
7. Baltimore Ravens (Last week: 7)
Record: 2-1
Baltimore’s offense bounced back and Zay Flowers’ hamstring seemingly survived whatever was happening with that Rio de Janeiro turf.
6. Los Angeles Rams (Last week: 4)
Record: 1-2
The offense is missing Puka Nacua, the defense is missing Myles Garrett. And both sides of the ball look like they’re missing a huge piece. The Death Star just won’t be fully operational until both are back healthy.
5. Philadelphia Eagles (Last week: 5)
Record: 2-0
(Monday Night Football)
4. Kansas City Chiefs (Last week: 8)
Record: 3-0
I’m afraid the Chiefs are back. Every dynasty needs a year off every now and then. Sorry, NFL.
3. Seattle Seahawks (Last week: 1)
Record: 2-1
Sam Darnold came back and aired it the hell out because his run game was nonexistent. Perhaps letting the engine of your offense go in the offseason was a big mistake.
2. San Francisco 49ers (Last week: 3)
Record: 3-0
If the season ended today, Brock Purdy is your league MVP. He’s been incredible, and clearly has elevated his game. That defensive line, though …
1. Buffalo Bills (Last week: 2)
Record: 3-0
Five turnovers by Josh Allen and his weapons, and they still found a way. That’s what Super Bowl teams do, and they are just that.