Apparently unsatisfied with running the fourth-largest economy in the world — sorry, Japan — Gov. Gavin Newsom is very, very busy talking about himself.
In the midst of a national book tour to promote his new political memoir, “Young Man in a Hurry,” — the kind of book you write when you’re totally not running for president — Newsom stopped by the studio of Adam Friedland, a 38-year-old socialist alternative comedian who loves interrupting guests of his internet talk show with left-field questions.
During their hourlong conversation on “The Adam Friedland Show,” the two touched on the Fox News-inflected view of California, the Willie Brown political machine, and — twice! —the Folsom Street Fair.
As a service to our readers who are either too classy to listen to Friedland — a guy who got famous as third mic on the seminal “dirtbag left” podcast “Cum Town” — or simply find his whiny, interrupting style irritating, we did a rundown of Newsom’s hourlong appearance for the best SF-related nuggets. First, a fact-check from the podcast: Any San Franciscan worth their salt knows that the purported Mark Twain quote “The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco” is just an urban myth.
Newsom hasn’t been to Burning Man, but Burners were “his people back in the day”
Few public figures seem less suited to attend a desert bacchanal than Newsom, whose unbuttoned oxford shirts wouldn’t breathe well on the Playa.
Newsom took credit for publicly displaying Burning Man sculptures in California and agreed with the conventional wisdom that Nevada’s annual confab of goggle-clad Software Americans just isn’t that cool anymore. “Now it’s all, Burning Man is gentrified,” Newsom said, before asking Friedland, “You ever tried ketamine? Seems like there’s a lot of people talking about ketamine.”
The trendy, dissociative horse tranquilizer came up surprisingly often during the conversation — three times, by our count.
He says “Presidio” weirdly
When the governor came to The Standard’s office in the lovely Costco Valley neighborhood, the hosts of “Pacific Standard Time” subjected him to what’s become the benchmark humiliation ritual of modern media: a “silly” question shot vertically for social.
We asked him his favorite place in San Francisco, and he said it was the Presidio. And really, who can take issue with one of the city’s crown jewels?
But instead of saying “Press-IH-dee-oh,” he hits the hard E, as in “Press-seedy-oh.” It’s a pronunciation he repeated during his podcast appearance and one we can’t seem to forgive, especially because the Presidio is easily the least seedy part of town — and one adjacent to the part of San Francisco that Newsom represented on the Board of Supervisors.
“She was 19, bro”
By now, Newsom has appeared on enough podcasts that certain verbal tics are emerging from a career politician trying his best to sound authentic.
Many of these — like an overuse of “bro” — are firmly in the “guys being dudes (opens in new tab)” category.
They’re mostly harmless, but perhaps the strangest deployment was when he was discussing his parents’ divorce and the age at which they got married.
“He was 33, man. As he described it, ‘scandal,’” Newsom said of his father, punctuating the last word with airquotes. “She was 19, bro. That’s ridiculous. And imagine being like 19, and a couple years later with two kids, and you come from no money, man.”
Newsom’s SF lightning round
Best delicacy: Lucca Delicatessen on Chestnut Street
Best athlete: Joe Montana — despite Friedland’s best efforts to get him to name a certain San Francisco-born Heisman-award-winning football player who once owned a Ford Bronco.
Best band: The Grateful Dead. Although in line with one of his political heroes, Newsom says he never inhaled (opens in new tab).
“You stood there listening to deedle deedle deedle for four hours and not doing any weed?” Friedland interrogated.
Newsom insists, despite all available evidence, that he was a loser in high school
Here’s his case:
1. He wore a suit to school every day, which he claims was inspired by Pierce Brosnan on the TV show “Remington Steele.”
2. He had a Flock of Seagulls haircut.
3. He had bad grades. (“Suit and bad grades is psychotic,” Friedland remarked.)
None of this moved his host, who produced a photo of Newsom as a hunky 6-foot-3 star baseball player. “You were batting .460!” Friedland exclaimed. “This is a guy who lost his virginity at 11. … I need him.”
Newsom copped to his impressive batting average but insisted he did not do the deed until senior year. It all seemed of a piece with his book’s self-effacing tone, which Friedland speculated was a preemptive defense to criticisms that Newsom looks like his dad is “CEO of the Money Company.”
He is kind of a freak, though
Even as he angles for federal office, Newsom doubled down on his San Francisco bona fides.
“A lot of people go to the Castro Street Fair. You’ve gotta go to the Folsom Street Fair,” he said. “I’ll never forget the first time I went there.”
The quip, which seems like a gift to right-wing culture warriors who make endless political hay out of that one pic of Scott Wiener shirtless (opens in new tab), prompted Friedland to ask whether Newsom had perhaps seen “one of the biggest penises you’ve ever seen in your life” at the annual kinkfest. Newsom gazed into the distance like a shell-shocked soldier and said he could “never unsee what I saw.” Thank you for your service, Mr. Governor.
“It’s mad nice”
The most-clipped moment came halfway through, when Friedland asked Newsom about the nation’s perception of California.
“The attitude is like, ‘poop-covered, hobo-infested hellscape,’” Friedland said, and asked Newsom how he would respond to a Middle American voter who accused him of “letting in busloads of hobos and illegals.”
Newsom went straight to numbers: California is the fourth-largest economy, 58 Fortune 500 companies are headquartered here, we have the most scientists and engineers, the most Nobel Laureates, the best universities, we’re the center of tech and AI R&D, we’re the most diverse state, et cetera.
Friedland was unimpressed.
If “I’m a guy in Dayton, Ohio, I don’t know what any of that means,” he said. “Why don’t you just say, ‘Bro, it’s mad nice.’”
It was an opportunity for Friedland to rag on his guest’s oily politician veneer. But it was also genuine messaging guidance, and Newsom immediately admitted defeat.
“Why do I have political consultants?” he asked. “It’s bad. I just got my ass kicked. … I sound like a fucking politician.”