Sez Me …
Today, you get to play a lunatic chef gone wild.
So you get this gigantic pot and go nuts. You throw in some Marx Brothers, Three Stooges, Keystone Cops, San Diego High’s Harold Lloyd, a few skits from “It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad Mad World,” and “Airplane!,” fresh horse manure, and what do you get?
Insane college sports stew.
It tastes like crap. It smells worse. It won’t stay on your fork. It’s inedible.
It’s so bad that the President has become involved, in the middle of a war he started, issuing an executive order in a somewhat futile attempt to quiet the storm collegiate sports finds itself in. Some of it even makes sense. But it’s going to fly like a sequoia.
Meanwhile, the NCAA — which has been this close to totally neutered — is putting down its size 2 loafer.
It has proposed a plan, which may well be adopted soon, that limits an athlete’s college career to five full years of eligibility from high school graduation or their 19th birthday (whichever comes first). No redshirts. The only exceptions will include maternity leave, military service or religious missions.
Of course, this all is subject to anti-trust scrutiny, but to plan a journey, one must have a beginning. And this at least would be a start.
If I were college football czar (which is desperately needed now that athletes are openly being paid), I would move quickly on the journey.
While I’m in favor of athletes being paid, I would institute a cap on spending. For this, a players’ union would be necessary.
I would allow a player one transfer, without punishment or a year lost. Transfer again, as so many are, you sit out a year. Some of these kids have played for multiple schools. Allowing one nine years of eligibility is just stupid.
I would not allow privilege to certain colleges. You earn your keep not by your history or independence.
I would get rid of conference tournaments. In some cases, regular seasons are becoming meaningless. And too many games are being played.
If players declare for drafts, their eligibility is gone. Those who have played for professional teams aren’t returning to play college games.
Of course, there is a lot of fantasy in this. But college sports are out of control. Something must be done. And this would help. I know it would.…
Whatever the opposite of poetry is, that was the Michigan-UConn NCAA final. Really wasn’t fun at all — except that the Huskies lost. …
As Charles Barkley would say: “Michigan didn’t play good.” It’s just that UConn was worse. …
UConn traveled well beyond its capabilities. Not close to being Dan Hurley’s best team. …
But,if you’re looking for a relentless dog, get a Husky. Hurley, for all his faults, is the best coach of basketball. …
San Diego State had a better basketball team than UConn in 2011. But the Aztecs couldn’t overcome the Huskies’ superior acting skills. …
I did not see one great player in the men’s NCAA Tournament. If you did, you’re easily swayed. …
Every Michigan starter was a transfer. That just doesn’t seem right. …
There are currently around 3,000 players in the college basketball portal, or about half the athletes available. That just doesn’t seem right. …
There’s a word to describe the final two regulation minutes of a college basketball game. Interminable. …
The NCAA makes a billion dollars out of March Madness. So it’s time to get the Final Four out of large football stadiums. They affect play — and not in a positive way. The game is screwed up enough as it is without being played in Circus Maximuses. …
North Carolina has hired Michael Malone, an NBA man (Denver), as its new men’s basketball coach. From pro to college. Unusual, in that he now has to actually coach. …
Doug Moe won 432 NBA games without coaching. He said he had two set plays. Moe knew every letter of the alphabet — except X and O. …
Loved Soul Lounge’s rendition of the national anthem before the NCAA final. And I don’t care for the great majority of them. …
Regular season, NCAA Tournament, Final Four, final two, it doesn’t matter. Officials just aren’t very good. …
The refs allowed the Final to get far too physical, real close to out of hand. There should have been 200 foul calls. Well, maybe 225. …
The last time an official called three seconds, not-yet Queen Elizabeth II was trying to dig London theater tickets out of her purse during The Blitz. …
Tennessee’s women’s basketball roster has one player remaining on it. I’m just assuming it’s Dolly Parton. …
Famed UConn women’s basketball coach Geno Auriemma apologizes for his outburst following his ass-kicking by South Carolina, saying he “lost himself.” He didn’t. It was he being he. Hey, Geno, try to make a shot. …
On the flip side, UCLA women’s coach Cori Close is an inspiration. …
If the Aztecs lose any more players to the NCAA transfer portal, the only one left with eligibility may be D.J. Gay. And he probably doesn’t have any left. …
Magoon Gwath is leaving SDSU. A bust. …
Such a big deal about Lamar Jackson showing up for the Ravens’ first day of voluntary workouts. Shouldn’t he? New coach and system. Isn’t Lamar still trying to win something? …
Personally, I don’t believe Lamar has been as effective since he stopped using his legs so much. But the danger remains. And nothing is more critical than danger. …
Jalen Hurts has been to two Super Bowls, won one and was the best player in the other — both times better than Patrick Mahomes. He’s fine. The Eagles aren’t finding anyone better. …
Happy 128th, Spencer Tracy. When he was on the screen, there was no one else. …
RIP, Davey Lopes. I really liked Davey, a great talker. He was coaching with the Pads when we started up a conversation in the Yankee Stadium dugout the day before the 1998 World Series. It was one-on-one. But by the time we finished, with Lopes decrying the lack of black managers, there must have been 50 desperate-for-copy reporters surrounding us. …
Troy Aikman, working to help the Dolphins by sharing his expertise, rooting for them, and still under ESPN employ, is inexcusable. Tom Brady, making a zillion from Fox while co-owning the Raiders, same thing. …
The NFL turns a green eye to many things. I guess conflict of interest is one. …
The average MLB player makes more than $5 million per season. Interesting, in that most players are average. …
The Washington Nationals charge $15 for a beer. Is there a corkage fee? …
How many people know who Dianna Russini really is? Come on, people. This isn’t Liz Taylor and Richard Burton. …
I agree with Nicklaus, Watson and Player. Roll the ball back 60 yards. Return shotmaking to golf. …
Apollo proved the moon is not made of green cheese. Artemis II proved there is no man in it. What’s next to debunk? Damn. …
The Masters is the best sporting event. By the way, it begins this afternoon.