This week, The Standard polled readers about a mystery neighborhood at the center of San Francisco. Situated on Market Street between Octavia Boulevard and Van Ness Avenue, this no man’s land is where Hayes Valley, Civic Center, Mid-Market, SoMa, the Mission, and the Lower Haight converge. Some people call it “The Hub” or, following a recent push from real estate reps, “Lower Hayes.”
We asked what the neighborhood should be called, and more than 400 readers answered. Spoiler alert: There was no clear winner. Of the options given, 21% of respondents said they call this cleaver-shaped section of town “Mid-Market,” while 18% went with “Lower Hayes.” With just under 3% each, “the Mission” and “the Lower Haight” were the least popular choices.
The most popular option was “something else,” which netted almost 100 responses — some of them quite clever. Many referenced the neighborhood’s roughly triangular shape, like “Otis Triangle,” “The Slice,” “The Tangle in the Angle,” and “TriBeMa,” for “Triangle Below Market.”
Acknowledging that parts of this neighborhood are replete with commercial vacancies, a few people suggested less-adoring monikers, like “The Armpit,” “The Bermuda Triangle,” or “The Vortex.” “Deco Ghetto” referenced the early 20th century building stock and historic art stores, while “MarVan Junction” plays on the intersection of Market and Van Ness.
The comments to a companion Instagram post (opens in new tab) yielded even wittier answers, ranging from “Upper Safeway” to “The Tendermish” to “Missed the Freeway On-ramp Purgatory.” Citing the neighborhood’s proximity to the Mission, Castro, and Lower Haight, one cheeky monkey offered “Mastrobaight.”
Of course, it’s an ill-defined area, so there was some geographical confusion. Several respondents called it the “Duboce Triangle,” which is a distinct neighborhood north of Market Street and several blocks to the west. As a potential compromise, though, someone suggested combining them into “Duboce Hourglass.” Which, to be honest, we don’t hate.
“Mint Hill” was another popular response, although the area The Standard was describing is both relatively flat and east of that coin-making edifice. But in fairness, longtime karaoke bar The Mint falls just inside its western tip. And, in memory of the combination fast-food location that shuttered a couple years ago, a few people suggested “Taco Bell Hill” and “KFC Heights.”
Other responses were philosophical in nature. “I live here, and I don’t have a name for it,” one reader wrote. “I just describe it as between the Mission, SoMa, and Hayes Valley.” When The Standard put forth the idea of the “Zuni-Martuni triangle,” in reference to a well-known restaurant and piano bar, a local expert weighed in. “As a bartender at Martuni’s, we call it ‘No man’s land.’ You come here to die or sing yourself back to life.”
Readers, does SF have another no man’s land? Take our poll: