Li, who has been a chef, server and manager at several prominent Bay Area restaurants, worked at Friends and Family from when it opened in 2020 until 2023. When the bar closed in late 2025, Li said that they and their friends were devastated by the loss of an essential queer gathering space and worried it would “turn into something that doesn’t even begin to scratch the itch” of Friends and Family. “Me and my friends like to go out,” they said. “We like to feel like we belong in the world, just like anyone else.”
On Friday, Li is opening There There in the former Friends and Family space at 468 25th St. In an attempt to pre-empt some of the economic challenges that Oakland bars are facing right now, Li has lowered prices and boosted capacity compared to Friend and Family. Drinks start at $12 and top off at $17; dishes range from $5 to $9. Bleachers on the back patio are designed “so that people can just pile up,” they said. “I’m trying to unofficially name it the ‘cruising corner.’”
Li said their experience most recently as a general manager at Daytrip Counter in Oakland — the more casual iteration of the owners’ previous restaurant, Daytrip — prepared them to make the changes at There There. With the shift in the beverage price point, “I am hoping to see more folks who previously couldn’t afford to be regulars of Friends and Family,” they said. “It took a lot of finagling because of course we didn’t want to sacrifice quality.”
At There There, which is a reference to a famous Gertrude Stein quote and a play on they/them pronouns, beverage manager Leila Malikyar has created a half dozen drinks and three nonalcoholic cocktails. Li helped brainstorm ways to add savory and summery elements to both a corn margarita — sweetened with a syrup made with steamed corn and featuring a rim with tortilla chip, coriander and chile — called Folded by Kehlani and T4T, a negroni with sundried tomatoes and a herb oil. “The bitterness of the Campari really goes well with the tomato,” Li said. “It’s just enough adventure without trying to reinvent the wheel.”
The food menu is mostly vegan and gluten-free, like japchae with broccolini and a green goddess salad with little gems. In a nod to duck tacos from the original Friends and Family menu, There There will serve duck in bao buns, in an “emulation of Peking duck from my childhood,” Li said.
There There has the same bones as Friends and Family, but renovations have made it darker and moodier, with an industrial vibe that a friend described like being in Berlin.
It still feels “like back to school at my alma mater” in a good way, Li said. They hope to emulate what owner Blake Cole did with Friends and Family by creating a space that is both safe and “tells queers that we deserve good things and nice things,” they said. “We deserve nice, pretty, beautiful things.”