I’ve seen a lot of crazy job-seeking surveys come and go. 

One of the craziest appeared in a recent issue of Fortune magazine, stating that  77% of today’s Gen Z job seekers have had a parent write their resume, negotiate their salary, help them resolve workplace conflicts — and even join their child in job interviews.

Here’s my one-word response to that last one: Don’t.

As for the others, I have to ask, are they trying to get their 24-year-old kids to move out of their childhood bedroom, or trying to sabotage their job search so they’ll keep living at home? 

I’m convinced that most parents love their kids and want to help as much as possible. 

But there’s a difference between support and substitution, and too many parents have crossed that line.

Here’s why that matters when we’re talking about getting a job.

Most hiring managers can tell when a candidate’s answers sound overly rehearsed or AI-based, or when a follow-up email arrives with language that’s clearly not in the candidate’s own voice.

Up goes the red flag. 

May not be ready

First, it tells the employer that this person may not be ready to advocate for themselves, and if they can’t advocate for themselves in the hiring process, how will they handle a tough client, a difficult coworker, or a performance review down the line?

Second, and this is the part I want young job seekers to hear, the job search is where you learn how to search for yourself. 

It’s not just about landing this one position. It’s about honing a life skill you’ll use again and again over your working career. 

If your parents write your resume bullets or script your answers or coach you through every question, you haven’t built your own adult muscle. 

You’ve borrowed someone else’s.

And muscles you borrow don’t show up when you need them most — like three years from now, at 2 a.m., when you’re updating your resume after a layoff nobody saw coming.

That undermines confidence rather than building it because confidence that comes from leaning on someone else is fragile. 

Real confidence comes from doing the hard, awkward work yourself — sending out the cold email; sitting through that first interview, sweat and all; getting rejected and figuring out why — and coming out the other side having proven to yourself that you can do it. 

That’s not something a parent can hand you. It has to be earned.

There’s a smarter way for a parent to help, like reviewing a resume for typos, talking through “interview nerves” the night before, and listening to sample 30-second elevator speeches. 

And being a sounding board when your kid is deciding between two offers. That’s good parenting. 

What doesn’t ring true is drafting the cover letter, sitting in on video interviews or calling HR to ask about the status of an application. 

I’ve heard that the last one is actually happening, and I promise you, it doesn’t give HR a favorable impression.

My guard goes up

Whenever a friend contacts me about helping their child get a job, my guard goes up. I tell them to have their child, not the parent, send me their resume, and go through the process of making an appointment.

And, no, that parent isn’t welcome to join us.

Here’s my advice to parents: Your job right now is to build your child’s independence, not manage their job search. 

Let them stumble through an interview and come home and talk it through with you afterward, not before.

And here’s my advice to the Gen Z job seekers reading this: It’s OK to feel unsure. Everybody does, every single time, no matter how many jobs they’ve had.

But the discomfort of doing it yourself is exactly what turns you into someone who can do it. 

Employers aren’t just hiring your resume. They’re hiring your judgment, your resilience, and your ability to represent yourself under pressure. 

None of that can be outsourced — not even to the people who love you the most.

You’ve got this. 

Go do it yourself.

Blair is co-founder of Manpower West Staffing and can be reached at pblair@manpowerwest.com.