This time last year, the community was celebrating the opening of San Diego’s AIDS Memorial at Olive Street Park in Bankers Hill. I recently had a meeting nearby and took a moment to walk through the thoughtfully designed space again, taking in the ribbon-shaped overlook and the signage honoring the people and organizations who fought against the epidemic. Standing there, I reflected on how far we’ve come in the fight against HIV/AIDS, and how far we still have to go.
As we mark World AIDS Day today, I’m reminded of the impact HIV/AIDS has had on our local community and of the resilience of those who have fought — and continue to fight — for research, resources and, ultimately, a cure. I’m also thinking about how HIV/AIDS has shaped people I love and my own journey toward understanding and advocacy.
As a gay man in my 30s, HIV/AIDS has always been part of my sexual awareness. When I was beginning to understand my sexuality, fear developed alongside it. The anxiety I felt about coming out was amplified by stigma-driven fears of HIV. As a teenager, a relative once told me, “Be careful out there, you don’t want to end up getting AIDS.” While their intent may have been protective, that comment, combined with my lack of understanding about transmission, led to years of anxiety and paranoia.
It wasn’t until I received comprehensive sex education at the LGBTQ+ resource center at my college that I began to truly understand the realities of HIV/AIDS. After graduating, I worked at an LGBTQ+ and HIV/AIDS community center that offered counseling, sexual health resources, a food pantry and a clean syringe exchange program. One of the first people who shared their status with me was an elderly woman who visited the pantry every week. Talking with her shattered the narrow image I’d internalized about what someone living with HIV “looked like.”
When I moved to San Diego and began working at the LGBT Community Center, it was launching its “#BeTheGeneration” campaign. Its goal was to empower people to take charge of their sexual health. Through the campaign, I gained the tools to talk to my doctor about going on PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis), a medication that prevents HIV infection. At community events, we had open conversations about risk and harm reduction, and I met longtime activists who taught me the history of San Diego’s community response to HIV/AIDS. I learned that people who are HIV-positive and have an undetectable viral load cannot sexually transmit HIV to others, a message known as U=U (Undetectable = Untransmittable). Through that work and education, I was inspired to become an HIV test counselor.
On my last shift before leaving to work in then-San Diego Councilmember Chris Ward’s office, I welcomed a new client, a gay man around my age. When I stepped into the back room to read his test results, the strip showed a preliminary positive. It was the first time I had ever had to deliver that news. I took a deep breath, walked back and calmly explained the results. Afterward, I asked, “What can I do to help you in this moment?” He replied, “I just need a hug.” As he cried in my arms, I fought back my own tears.
It was one of those moments that felt like my entire life had led me there. It helped me realize the personal impact HIV/AIDS still has on our community. While we have come a long way in terms of prevention, care and support, the fight against HIV/AIDS is not a thing of the past.
There are still many important organizations fighting stigma, providing education and advocating for resources here in San Diego. The Center’s #BeTheGeneration has adapted into an entire program that focuses on sexual health and wellness by providing links to prevention and treatment resources, as well as long-term medical care. Since 2000, the volunteer group POZabilities has worked to reduce isolation, depression, and stigma amongst individuals in San Diego who are living with HIV through outreach and networking events. Impulse San Diego provides resources for combating HIV but also emphasizes harm reduction and education.
As we mark another World AIDS Day, I’m reminded that the fight against HIV/AIDS is still a fight for understanding, dignity, compassion and community. Our AIDS Memorial honors those we’ve lost and those who showed up and stepped up to care for our community, but it also calls us to care for those living with HIV/AIDS today and beyond. Let’s honor their stories not by looking away, but by supporting the organizations doing the work, and choosing a community where no one faces this journey alone.
Renner is the communications director for PATH, a statewide homeless services provider, and a board member of San Diego Pride. He lives in University Heights.