{"id":129800,"date":"2026-01-12T03:05:11","date_gmt":"2026-01-12T03:05:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/129800\/"},"modified":"2026-01-12T03:05:11","modified_gmt":"2026-01-12T03:05:11","slug":"nikki-glaser-takes-swing-at-cbs-in-golden-globes-monologue","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/129800\/","title":{"rendered":"Nikki Glaser takes swing at CBS in Golden Globes monologue"},"content":{"rendered":"

By ANDREW DALTON, Associated Press<\/p>\n

LOS ANGELES (AP) \u2014 Nikki Glaser<\/a> went hard then eased up in her monologue to open Sunday\u2019s Golden Globes<\/a>.<\/p>\n

In her earliest jokes she suggested stars in the room might be in the Epstein Files and took a shot at CBS, the network airing the show.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere are so many A-listers, and by A-listers, I do mean people who are on a list that has been heavily redacted,\u201d she said. \u201cAnd the Golden Globe for best editing goes to the Justice Department.\u201d<\/p>\n

She segued into mocking the recent woes at CBS News<\/a> and its killing of a critical \u201c60 Minutes\u201d story about the Trump Administration sending immigrants to a prison in El Salvador.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe award for most editing goes to CBS News,\u201d she said. \u201cYes, CBS News: America\u2019s newest place to see BS news.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Nikki<\/p>\n

Nikki Glaser arrives at the 83rd Golden Globes on Sunday, Jan. 11, 2026, at the Beverly Hilton in Beverly Hills, Calif. (Photo by Richard Shotwell\/Invision\/AP)\n<\/p>\n

\"Nikki<\/p>\n

Nikki Glaser arrives at the 83rd Golden Globes on Sunday, Jan. 11, 2026, at the Beverly Hilton in Beverly Hills, Calif. (Photo by Jordan Strauss\/Invision\/AP)\n<\/p>\n

\"Julia<\/p>\n

Julia Roberts arrives at the 83rd Golden Globes on Sunday, Jan. 11, 2026, at the Beverly Hilton in Beverly Hills, Calif. (Photo by Richard Shotwell\/Invision\/AP)\n<\/p>\n

\"Leonardo<\/p>\n

Leonardo DiCaprio arrives at the 83rd Golden Globes on Sunday, Jan. 11, 2026, at the Beverly Hilton in Beverly Hills, Calif. (Photo by Jordan Strauss\/Invision\/AP)\n<\/p>\n

Show Caption<\/p>\n

1 of 4<\/p>\n

Nikki Glaser arrives at the 83rd Golden Globes on Sunday, Jan. 11, 2026, at the Beverly Hilton in Beverly Hills, Calif. (Photo by Richard Shotwell\/Invision\/AP)\n<\/p>\n

Expand<\/a><\/p>\n

She didn\u2019t bring up Venezuela<\/a>, a subject she told The Associated Press this week she was considering mentioning, but worried it would already be old news in the chaotic moment. And there was no mention of ICE.<\/p>\n

Glaser also told the AP she was struggling to find a joke about Julia Roberts<\/a>, saying she was so beloved and respected that nothing Glaser tried with her comedy club test audiences was landing.<\/p>\n

She found a way to come at it sideways.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust like the podcasters nominated tonight, I should not be allowed to be this close to Julia Roberts,\u201d she said, and got the big laugh she was looking for.<\/p>\n

It was Glaser\u2019s second time hosting the show. She was quickly rehired after getting strong reviews in her first outing last year. She was hired the first time after the ruthless roast she gave the attendees of the Netflix roast of Tom Brady. She\u2019s been kinder on the Globes, but her jokes still had some bite.<\/p>\n

She made the obligatory joke about Leonardo DiCaprio dating young women.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve worked with every great director. You\u2019ve won three Golden Globes and an Oscar,\u201d she said. \u201cAnd the most impressive thing is that you were able to accomplish all of that before your girlfriend turned 30.\u201d<\/p>\n

She then went meta and apologized for being so obvious.<\/p>\n

\u201cLeo, I\u2019m sorry I made that joke, it\u2019s cheap. You know what, I tried not to, but like, we don\u2019t know anything else about you, man. Like, there\u2019s nothing else, like open up!\u201d she said, getting a bigger laugh than she did for the first joke, especially from DiCaprio himself.<\/p>\n

Of DiCaprio\u2019s fellow nominee for \u201cOne Battle After Another,\u201d Sean Penn, she said, \u201cEveryone in this town is obsessed with looking younger. Meanwhile, Sean Penn, is like, what if I slowly morph into a sexy leather handbag?\u201d<\/p>\n

She focused on the lean frame of Timoth\u00e9e Chalamet<\/a> in her inevitable joke about the nominee for \u201cMarty Supreme,\u201d calling him \u201cthe first actor in history to have to put on muscle for a movie about ping pong. This is true. He gained over 60 ounces.\u201d<\/p>\n

She called the sequel \u201cWicked: For Good\u201d \u201cWicked: For Money,\u201d getting economical as the monologue went on to maximize her targets.<\/p>\n

She seemed to pull half the room into her final mega-joke.<\/p>\n

\u201cGuillermo del Toro, keep making weird monster sex movies,\u201d she said. \u201cJames Cameron \u2014 keep making weird monster sex movies. Emma Stone and Yorgos Lanthimos, keep making wonderfully bizarre movies together and go harder. I want Emma Stone playing a piece of toast with epilepsy.\u201d<\/p>\n

It went on and on, with lines including \u201cPaul Mescal and Jacob Elordi, keep being the same person to my mom, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"By ANDREW DALTON, Associated Press LOS ANGELES (AP) \u2014 Nikki Glaser went hard then eased up in her…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":129801,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[66813,29939,74,76,75],"class_list":["post-129800","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-san-diego","tag-golden-globes-monologue","tag-nikki-glaser","tag-san-diego","tag-san-diego-headlines","tag-san-diego-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/129800","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=129800"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/129800\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/129801"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=129800"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=129800"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=129800"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}