{"id":150056,"date":"2026-01-26T15:08:11","date_gmt":"2026-01-26T15:08:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/150056\/"},"modified":"2026-01-26T15:08:11","modified_gmt":"2026-01-26T15:08:11","slug":"the-golden-state-may-never-be-new-york-but-at-least-it-now-has-the-post","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/150056\/","title":{"rendered":"The Golden State may never be New York \u2014 but at least it now has The Post"},"content":{"rendered":"

We\u2019re Post-ing up in Calif.<\/p>\n

We\u2019re here. We\u2019ve arrived. The New York Post. We are\u00a0in California.<\/a><\/p>\n

I mean, look at it this way: Ever hear anyone sing, \u201cMontana, here we come\u201d?<\/p>\n

OK, so this West Coast got the sequoias? We got the Rockaways.<\/p>\n

Malibu? We got Jones Beach.<\/p>\n

They got statehood in 1850. Mazel tov. Our hot dogs are older than that.<\/p>\n

Roads? Please. Two Hupmobiles plus the original Edsel at full 25 mph clog LA\u2019s highway.<\/p>\n

They got Anaheim. Yeah, so what?<\/p>\n

Keep\u00a0Clint Eastwood<\/a>. We got Niagara, Bear Mountain, as well as the Met, Broadway, St. Pat\u2019s, Park Avenue, Times Square, the Statue of Liberty \u2014 who won\u2019t change into shorts \u2014 and the Brooklyn Bridge, which will not connect Palm Springs.<\/p>\n

Calm yourselves: Tiny Laguna\u2019s no Coney Island. Alcatraz? Please. We got Rikers. Shrunken Palm Springs? We got\u00a0big\u00a0Central Park.<\/p>\n

New York\u2019s forever fabulous New York Post was first to get a lawyer who said, \u201cWashington did\u00a0not\u00a0chop down that cherry tree. The thing was a spruce.\u201d<\/p>\n

And famous faces? Please. It\u2019s home to Britain\u2019s formerly permanently unemployed, semi-VIP\u00a0Harry, and his sweet wife\u00a0Meghan, who once tested for the lead in \u201cBonnie and Clyde.\u201d<\/p>\n

Another thing. Tuna? You got them in a can. We got\u00a0John Catsimatidis. You got Death Valley? We got the Long Island Expressway.<\/p>\n

And if you don\u2019t count Bugsy Siegel, Fatty Arbuckle, O.J., it\u2019s also got grizzlies.<\/p>\n

Chewing out the Big Apple<\/p>\n

Look, NYC\u2019s got the No. 1 bagels, world\u2019s best steak, Junior\u2019s famous cheesecake, so I\u2019m not moving. But your land out west has things to admire, like beaches, mountains, deserts and the only slightly used wedding outfits worn for the marriages of Elizabeth Taylor Hilton Wilding Todd Fisher Burton Burton Warner Fortensky.<\/p>\n

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And you\u2019re not near Newark, where when I parked my car I lost four hubcaps. Note: No truth to the talk that Palm Springs plans to relocate on Pitkin Avenue. That rumor began\u00a0with Mayor Crapdammy<\/a>\u00a0and was supported by\u00a0Kamala, and that three-named ex-bartender whose vast knowledge extends to gin fizz ingredients.<\/p>\n

Sea, San and sun<\/p>\n

California. Home of everything beginning with \u201cSan,\u201d which is Spanish for \u201csaint.\u201d One thing New York lacks. We should have San Bronx? San Pitkin Avenue? I mean, San Gowanus Canal just doesn\u2019t do it.<\/p>\n

This strip of land next to the Pacific, named for saints, brought cities like San Jose, San Juan Capistrano, Sans Carlos, Clemente, Bernardino, Mateo and the prison town of San Quentin.<\/p>\n

No Santa\u00a0Cindy, but the White House is working on that.<\/p>\n

The place has the Hollywood sign, Silicon Valley, forests, Golden Gate, Fortune 500 companies, an LAPD that goes after miscreants in new Lamborghinis.<\/p>\n

And don\u2019t repeat my personal White House knowledge, which is that\u00a0Donald\u00a0has no interest in downtown Montecito .\u2009.\u2009. maybe just Main Street.<\/p>\n

Also \u2014 excuse the expression \u2014 LA\u2019s got\u00a0Gavin Newsom. I am finished. I now return to learning the words of any song that rhymes with \u201cNo snow Sacramento.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"We\u2019re Post-ing up in Calif. We\u2019re here. We\u2019ve arrived. The New York Post. We are\u00a0in California. I mean,…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":150057,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[7,9,8,63758,975],"class_list":{"0":"post-150056","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-california","8":"tag-california","9":"tag-california-headlines","10":"tag-california-news","11":"tag-new-york-post","12":"tag-opinion"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150056","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=150056"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150056\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/150057"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=150056"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=150056"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=150056"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}