{"id":171035,"date":"2026-02-09T23:51:09","date_gmt":"2026-02-09T23:51:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/171035\/"},"modified":"2026-02-09T23:51:09","modified_gmt":"2026-02-09T23:51:09","slug":"how-6-oakland-couples-met-in-real-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/171035\/","title":{"rendered":"How 6 Oakland couples met in real life"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ten years ago, the city of Oakland adopted the slogan<\/a> \u201cLove Life.\u201d The simple idea was expanded as a declaration by Oakland musician and educator Kev Choice<\/a> some years later, words that are now often read at city events. It reads in part, \u201cWhen we demonstrate love we also manifest qualities of respect, kindness, grace, truth, understanding, humbleness, and forgiveness towards each other.\u201d<\/p>\n

The words gesture at the many ways lifelong Oakland residents \u2014 as well as the folks who have moved to Oakland and made it their home \u2014 find people to build community with, and sometimes, to fall for.<\/p>\n

The potential for love is all around the Town, and we heard from more than two dozen couples for whom Oakland is the main character in their love story. Whether fighting for housing rights, enjoying a summer day at Lake Merritt, reconnecting at a workout class years after graduating high school, or while grabbing drinks with friends, these couples found each other doing what they love in the Town.\u00a0<\/p>\n

When The Oaklandside explored these love matches, we found people longing to build a family, bring together blended families, or finding young love, queer love, and above all longstanding love that can withstand the test of time. Here are some of their Oakland love stories.<\/p>\n

Nichele and Jeff, met at Festival at the Lake<\/p>\n

Jeff and Nichele Laynes wanted to held their wedding reception at the Bellevue Club across the street from where they met. Credit: courtesy of Nichele Laynes<\/p>\n

Jeff and Nichele Laynes met in 1995 at Festival at the Lake, a popular summer event held in Oakland during most of the \u201980s and \u201990s. Jeff had come with friends, and Nichele was hanging out with her sorority sisters. The two chatted for a while, and then Jeff asked Nichele for her number.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe had pagers back in those days, and I never gave my pager number out, always gave a fake one,\u201d she said. \u201cMaybe because it was fate, I actually ended up giving him my real number.\u201d<\/p>\n

The two dated casually on and off for years, then began their careers and got into serious relationships with other people. When they reconnected again some years later, Nichele said, \u201cit stuck.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

Never miss a story. Sign up for The Oaklandside\u2019s free daily newsletter.<\/p>\n

The couple married in 2010 and held their wedding reception at the Bellevue Club, right across the street from where they\u2019d first met 15 years earlier. Their American bulldog, Raspberry, and daughter Nyla arrived a few years later.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou could say that Oakland and Lake Merritt really are the reason we met,\u201d Nichele said.<\/p>\n

Stefani and Elsa, met at a Moms 4 Housing protest<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Stefani Echeverria-Fenn and Elsa Flohr met while fighting for housing rights at the Moms 4 Housing movement in 2019. Credit: courtesy of Stefani Echeverria-Fenn and Elsa Flohr<\/p>\n

Stefani Echeverria-Fenn and Elsa Flohr met fighting for housing rights. The two of them had faced housing insecurity in the past and joined the Moms 4 Housing blockade<\/a> in late 2019, when four Black moms from Oakland facing housing insecurity moved into an empty home on Magnolia Street in West Oakland. The move was short-lived, as the moms were evicted less than two months later. But they eventually brokered the sale of the building to Oakland\u2019s Community Land Trust. Moms 4 Housing operates it as transitional housing for moms with children<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cWe fell in love while helping build tiny homes for our unhoused neighbors in West Oakland,\u201d Stefani said.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Early on in their relationship, the pair almost broke up, Stefani said, and it was another activist \u2014 who died in 2021 \u2014 who brought them back together.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cThe relationship was saved thanks to the skillful mediation of Skinny, one of those unhoused neighbors,\u201d Stefani said.\u00a0<\/p>\n

In 2020, as pandemic lockdowns began, they decided to move in together, even though they had only been dating for a few months.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cSix years later, we are now raising a toddler together,\u201d Stefani said. \u201cI gave birth at Highland Hospital. This hospital and Oakland\u2019s Children\u2019s Hospital saved our daughter\u2019s life.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stefani said that as a queer and trans couple, they feel safe and connected raising their child in Oakland.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere are communities here that don\u2019t really exist anywhere else,\u201d Elsa said. \u201cOakland is a really special place.\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul and Kathleen, met at house party in North Oakland
\n\"\"<\/p>\n

Paul Abernathy and Kathleen Courts have been married for 45 years. Credit: wedding photo courtesy of Kathleen Courts, the other three photos by Ximena Natera for The Oaklandside<\/p>\n

Paul Abernathy and Kathleen Courts first casually met in 1973 at a party hosted by Kathleen\u2019s upstairs neighbor, Pam Swett, at the duplex on 59th Street where Kathleen lived. Kathleen was raising two kids as a single parent, but Paul was married at the time. Seven years later, the two met once again at another party, this one in Richmond to celebrate Pam\u2019s graduation from nursing school. Paul, now divorced and raising his two kids, asked Kathleen to dance, and not long after that, he asked her out.\u00a0<\/p>\n

The following weekend, Kathleen baked Paul a cheesecake for his birthday, unaware that he hates cheese. Paul asked for a tiny sliver to be polite, and recalls his astonishment that the cheesecake didn\u2019t taste like cheese at all.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think we separated for more than a minute after that,\u201d Paul said.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Paul and Kathleen married a year later, bringing together their four kids into a blended family and adding one more of their own. Their family has grown so much that they have three great-grandchildren. The retired couple lives in the Oakland Hills.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s been 45 years now,\u201d Kathleen said. \u201cAnd every day, we still tell each other, \u2018I love you.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Craig and Bianca, met teaching at Madison Park Academy<\/p>\n

Craig Dittman and Bianca Lorenz started as co-workers and their love blossomed from there. Credit: courtesy of Craig Dittman<\/p>\n

Craig Dittmann and Bianca Lorenz met at Madison Park Academy, a public school in deep East Oakland. Bianca was teaching middle schoolers there when Craig toured the school in 2016 to explore the possibility of teaching at the academy\u2019s high school.<\/p>\n

\u201cI just see her standing on this desk as we\u2019re coming around the corner, yelling at a bunch of middle schoolers,\u201d Craig said. \u201cAnd instantly, I was like, \u2018Oh, dang, she\u2019s pretty cute.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Craig said their connection grew organically. They first became co-workers, then friends, and finally began dating in 2018.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Their first date was at the Berkeley Thai Temple\u2019s Sunday brunch<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cWe shared values, similar family backgrounds, and a worldview that made conversations feel effortless,\u201d Craig said.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne of the defining moments for me was adopting our cats, Bart and Momo, from Cat Town,\u201d the Oakland animal rescue, in 2019, Craig said. \u201cSeeing Bianca care for them, nurturing and patient, I realized the depth of her heart. Those cats became our anchor through the uncertainty of the pandemic, and in a small but profound way, they showed me what life with her could be.\u201d<\/p>\n

When Craig\u2019s grandfather died in 2024, family members gathered at the funeral started to ask about their wedding.\u00a0<\/p>\n

The two hadn\u2019t really talked about getting married. But they realized their remaining grandparents were getting older and they\u2019d want them there. The pair ended up getting married six months later in Bianca\u2019s grandmother\u2019s backyard in Southern California.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe have our lives ahead of us to plan,\u201d Bianca said. \u201cIt\u2019s been fun to think about what it will look like living in Oakland and growing older together.\u201d<\/p>\n

Devan and Matias, met at Bishop O\u2019Dowd
\n\"\"\"\"<\/p>\n

Devan and Matias Meneses first met as high schoolers at Bishop O\u2019Dowd. Their love story however, didn\u2019t start until 16 years later. Credit: courtesy of Devan Meneses<\/p>\n

Devan and Matias Meneses first met as students at Bishop O\u2019Dowd, the Catholic high school in East Oakland. But they barely knew each other, and only talked during their senior year, in 2006, when Devan briefly dated Matias\u2019s best friend.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Sixteen years later, in 2022, fate threw them back together. First they ran into each other at The RIC bar on College Avenue while Matias was on a date. Then they ran into each other again at Sweat, a gym in Rockridge where they ended up as workout partners for the class. Devan recalls Matias trying to show off, not realizing that Devan was a fitness instructor there.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle did I know that I had shown up on the apps for him, as he did for me. But neither of us swiped on the other,\u201d Devan said. \u201cWe wanted it to be a meant-to-be real life moment, and here it was.\u201d<\/p>\n

For their first date, they walked around Rockridge, the neighborhood they both called home, and got caught up on their lives after high school. They were inseparable after that. They moved in together in early 2023. That summer, they moved into Matias\u2019s childhood home in Rockridge, and by November, Devan was pregnant with their first child. The couple got married in April 2024, and Devan is expecting a second child in July.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cMatias loves being a dad. He is so patient with our 18-month-old,\u201d Devan said. \u201cHe makes parenting feel like a partnership. And that is the most incredible thing that I could ask for.\u201d<\/p>\n

Priscilla and J.T., met at Drexl<\/p>\n

Priscilla Lam and Jonathan Tom have only been together for less than two years, but they are already planning their life together. Credit: courtesy of Priscilla Lam<\/p>\n

Priscilla Lam was having drinks with her sister at the patio at Drexl, a bar on 19th Street,in July 2024 when they came across their mutual friend, Penny Lane. Penny introduced the sisters to the friends she was with, including a guy named Jonathan Tom, who goes by J.T.<\/p>\n

They were both drawn to each other, but their quick introduction among friends nearly turned into a missed opportunity. Priscilla asked J.T. if he wanted to go inside and get a drink, but he wanted to stay outside to smoke a cigarette. Priscilla ended up taking an Uber home not long after.\u00a0<\/p>\n

J.T. wasn\u2019t going to let her slip away. So, he asked Penny for Priscilla\u2019s number.<\/p>\n

\u201cA week later, I get a text from a random number,\u201d Priscilla said. \u201cIt was J.T.,\u201d<\/p>\n

The two began dating, and their relationship moved pretty fast after that. Within weeks, J.T. gave her a key to his apartment. Priscilla works nights as an MRI tech, and J.T. works a typical 9 to 5, so Priscilla said staying at J.T.\u2019s place allowed them to spend a little more time together.<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess I never left,\u201d she said.\u00a0<\/p>\n

The pair haven\u2019t let their opposite schedules get in the way of their blossoming love story.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s tough,\u201d Priscilla said. \u201cWe definitely make whatever time we have worth it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Priscilla said that one night, J.T. casually asked her if she wanted to get married. A few months later, J.T. began sending her photos of engagement rings asking her what kind of diamond she wanted, what cut and setting. Two weeks later, she said, the ring showed up at their door, and J.T. has been holding on to it since, waiting for the right moment.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cI would never imagine myself in this position knowing my dating history,\u201d Priscilla said. \u201cI\u2019m nervous because getting engaged is such a big step. But, I\u2019m excited. I love this man so much.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2026 We rely on your support<\/p>\n

Hey, we know that most readers only scan a headline and a couple of paragraphs. Thank you for reading to the end of our story. Since you clearly appreciate the in-depth approach we take in reporting the stories that matter to Oaklanders, please consider chipping in to supercharge our newsroom. <\/p>\n

“*” indicates required fields<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Ten years ago, the city of Oakland adopted the slogan \u201cLove Life.\u201d The simple idea was expanded as…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":171036,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[34],"tags":[143,145,144],"class_list":{"0":"post-171035","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-oakland","8":"tag-oakland","9":"tag-oakland-headlines","10":"tag-oakland-news"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/171035","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=171035"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/171035\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/171036"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=171035"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=171035"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=171035"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}