My wife argues that my columns often require a great deal of editing, suggesting my East Coast dialect is often apparent. She points, in particular, to what she considers my appalling spelling and inexcusable articulation.<\/p>\n
We\u2019ve spent over half our lives here in San Diego yet, she insists, I still tend to advance what she refers to as a \u201cBrooklynese slant.\u201d<\/p>\n
But I maintain, after all these years, I no longer have the issues she complains of.<\/p>\n
But she disagrees, suggesting I still retain an unfortunate accent, as well as appalling spelling, which is apparent in both conversation and columns, maintaining, she insists, that neither comes through as especially pleasing.<\/p>\n
\u201cEven grating!\u201d she insists.<\/p>\n
\u201cSome inflections,\u201d she claims, \u201care more welcoming than others. \u201cLike The French,\u201d she declares. She says their pronouncements are nothing short of what you might term supoib.<\/p>\n
Regrettably, even after all this time living here, my bride never fails to seize the opportunity to suggest my diction is something less than poifect.<\/p>\n
She wonders how it\u2019s possible for a poison with such grammatical impoifections to author what I consider a legitimate column in a maja noospaypa.<\/p>\n
Although I can\u2019t seem to find the errors she maintains are clearly abundant, she proofreads my columns and amends any woids she deems might require convoision, even though her complaints appear to be rather supoifluous.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve asked her to check my latest woik to detoiman if she\u2019s able to find any such errors. She claims she\u2019s uncovered dozens of such inaccuracies, an allegation a seasoned joinalist like myself finds rather hard to suppawt.<\/p>\n
Why, I question, is my wife so critical of my elocution, while she deems our French neighbor\u2019s pronouncements to be what she calls \u201cadorable,\u201d even though that neighbor\u2019s articulation most folks find incomprehensible, notwithstanding the fact that she\u2019s been residing in America for more than five decades.<\/p>\n
She and her husband came to join us for dinner last week and they were kind enough to stop at See\u2019s Candies to bring us a combination of what she called showcolat-covered valnuts, noogatz and abrigatz.<\/p>\n
She\u2019s married to an Italian gentleman whose accent and delivery is even worse than hers, as he hails from an area located some 1,500 miles from her former community, but apparently, they get along just fine, even though they don\u2019t seem to understand each other.<\/p>\n
\u201cMio bellissima moglie,\u201d he declares, \u201cet meravavigliosa.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat he say?\u201d his bride asks.<\/p>\n
\u201cI believe,\u201d I reply, \u201cthat he said that he\u2019s crazy about you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAh, oui,\u201d she declares. \u201cMon mari et un gentilhomme charmant.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cInglese traduzione, per favore,\u201d her husband appeals.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m pretty sure she said that she loves you,\u201d I reply.<\/p>\n
They proceed to share a kiss and a loving embrace, even though I\u2019m certain neither were able to comprehend my sorry translation.<\/p>\n
It makes me wonder how two people from distant areas can get along so well, while my wife and I have so much difficulty finding harmony, even though we hail from the same community and speak a common language.<\/p>\n
I suggest the answer lies in the fact that they\u2019re blessed with the fact they come from two different countries, speak separate languages, and can\u2019t understand each other.<\/p>\n