I\u2019ve seen a lot of crazy job-seeking surveys come and go.\u00a0<\/p>\n
One of the craziest appeared in a recent issue of Fortune magazine, stating that\u00a0 77% of today\u2019s Gen Z job seekers have had a parent write their resume, negotiate their salary, help them resolve workplace conflicts \u2014 and even join their child in job interviews.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s my one-word response to that last one: Don\u2019t.<\/p>\n
As for the others, I have to ask, are they trying to get their 24-year-old kids to move out of their childhood bedroom, or trying to sabotage their job search so they\u2019ll keep living at home?\u00a0<\/p>\n
I\u2019m convinced that most parents love their kids and want to help as much as possible.\u00a0<\/p>\n
But there\u2019s a difference between support and substitution, and too many parents have crossed that line.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s why that matters when we\u2019re talking about getting a job.<\/p>\n
Most hiring managers can tell when a candidate\u2019s answers sound overly rehearsed or AI-based, or when a follow-up email arrives with language that\u2019s clearly not in the candidate\u2019s own voice.<\/p>\n
Up goes the red flag.\u00a0<\/p>\n
May not be ready<\/p>\n
First, it tells the employer that this person may not be ready to advocate for themselves, and if they can\u2019t advocate for themselves in the hiring process, how will they handle a tough client, a difficult coworker, or a performance review down the line?<\/p>\n
Second, and this is the part I want young job seekers to hear, the job search is where you learn how to search for yourself.\u00a0<\/p>\n
It\u2019s not just about landing this one position. It\u2019s about honing a life skill you\u2019ll use again and again over your working career.\u00a0<\/p>\n
If your parents write your resume bullets or script your answers or coach you through every question, you haven\u2019t built your own adult muscle.\u00a0<\/p>\n
You\u2019ve borrowed someone else\u2019s.<\/p>\n
And muscles you borrow don\u2019t show up when you need them most \u2014 like three years from now, at 2 a.m., when you\u2019re updating your resume after a layoff nobody saw coming.<\/p>\n
That undermines confidence rather than building it because confidence that comes from leaning on someone else is fragile.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Real confidence comes from doing the hard, awkward work yourself \u2014 sending out the cold email; sitting through that first interview, sweat and all; getting rejected and figuring out why \u2014 and coming out the other side having proven to yourself that you can do it.\u00a0<\/p>\n
That\u2019s not something a parent can hand you. It has to be earned.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s a smarter way for a parent to help, like reviewing a resume for typos, talking through \u201cinterview nerves\u201d the night before, and listening to sample 30-second elevator speeches.\u00a0<\/p>\n
And being a sounding board when your kid is deciding between two offers. That\u2019s good parenting.\u00a0<\/p>\n
What doesn\u2019t ring true is drafting the cover letter, sitting in on video interviews or calling HR to ask about the status of an application.\u00a0<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve heard that the last one is actually happening, and I promise you, it doesn\u2019t give HR a favorable impression.<\/p>\n
My guard goes up<\/p>\n
Whenever a friend contacts me about helping their child get a job, my guard goes up. I tell them to have their child, not the parent, send me their resume, and go through the process of making an appointment.<\/p>\n
And, no, that parent isn\u2019t welcome to join us.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s my advice to parents: Your job right now is to build your child\u2019s independence, not manage their job search.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Let them stumble through an interview and come home and talk it through with you afterward, not before.<\/p>\n
And here\u2019s my advice to the Gen Z job seekers reading this: It\u2019s OK to feel unsure. Everybody does, every single time, no matter how many jobs they\u2019ve had.<\/p>\n
But the discomfort of doing it yourself is exactly what turns you into someone who can do it.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Employers aren\u2019t just hiring your resume. They\u2019re hiring your judgment, your resilience, and your ability to represent yourself under pressure.\u00a0<\/p>\n
None of that can be outsourced \u2014 not even to the people who love you the most.<\/p>\n
You\u2019ve got this.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Go do it yourself.<\/p>\n