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Elona Baron<\/p>\nBy Elona Baron (as barked to Laurie Baron) in San Diego<\/p>\n
Elona Baron<\/p>\n
As citizens of the United Species of America, each kind of animal elects their own national and local representatives.\u00a0 This election is particularly urgent for the dogs in the USA because our current president has become a dogtator. so much so that his political foes have nicknamed him the Golden Deceiver.<\/p>\n
The Golden Deceiver claims he is a Golden Retriever, but he behaves like a rabid pit bull.\u00a0 He instituted a deportation program for dog breeds which didn\u2019t originate in Europe and the United States.\u00a0 Chihuahuas, Afghan Hounds, Pekingese, among other breeds, live in terror of being picked up by roving dog catchers.\u00a0 Although he claims they will be relocated to their homelands, there are rumors that they get sent to countries where the humans eat dogs.<\/p>\n
Moreover, the Golden Deceiver ignores the laws that the Canine Council has passed. \u00a0While most dogs dislike leash laws, he has imposed a law requiring short leashes contending that this will condition dogs to be more obedient.<\/p>\n
He is contemptuous of smaller dog breeds whom he believes should defer to big alpha dogs like himself.\u00a0 He is trying to prevent those dogs from voting by stationing dog catchers outside of dog parks where dog polling places are located.\u00a0 He feels the same way about girl dogs whom he gratuitously humps without their consent. When he calls them bitches, he means it as a slur and not as the term for female dogs.<\/p>\n
The veterinarian he has appointed wants to end distemper shots because dogs with a temper can intimidate other animals and people.\u00a0 Indeed, his supporters have organized under the acronym MDGA (Make Dogs Growl Angrily).<\/p>\n
He has torn down sections of his residence and replaced them with a humongous dog park that will dwarf anything else in the world.\u00a0 His next project is a giant fire hydrant.<\/p>\n
He is also an aggressive dog.\u00a0 He plans to annex other territories and places whose names refer to other species. For example, Catalonia will become Dogalonia.<\/p>\n
Dogs who believe in the equality of breeds and the rule of paw must speak out against him.\u00a0 We will not be muzzled!<\/p>\n
*<\/p>\n
Elona Baron resides with Laurie and Bonnie Baron.<\/p>\n
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