Seven years ago, Danielle and Mike Otlin came to San Francisco’s Baker Beach to capture a moment they hoped to remember forever.<\/p>\n
With the Golden Gate Bridge behind them, they stood hand in hand, taking pregnancy photos and dreaming of the life ahead with their son, Jude.<\/p>\n
They couldn’t wait to say hello. Instead, they had to say goodbye.<\/p>\n
“It was the most devastating thing that I’ve ever experienced,” Danielle Otlin said.<\/p>\n
Danielle was in labor when Jude stopped moving. He was delivered stillborn.<\/p>\n
“I can remember I just put my head in my hands and I just really couldn’t do anything,” Mike Otlin said.<\/p>\n
The couple’s heartbreak didn’t begin or end with Jude. They also suffered two miscarriages.<\/p>\n
Now, they’re back at Baker Beach for the\u00a0Wave of Light<\/a>, an annual gathering where families come together to honor and remember the babies they’ve lost.<\/p>\n “It feels like we’re having a special ceremony to celebrate them,” Danielle said.<\/p>\n And they’re far from alone.<\/p>\n According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists<\/a>, at least one in 10 known pregnancies ends in miscarriage. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports<\/a> that about 21,000 babies are stillborn in the United States each year \u2014 roughly one in every 175 births.<\/p>\n For event organizer La’Zette Smith, the loss is deeply personal. His son, LaSaaun, was stillborn in 2020.<\/p>\n “It was a very tragic and painful and a lot of families don’t talk about it,” said Smith, who founded the\u00a0LaSaaun Lives Foundation<\/a>.<\/p>\n The Wave of Light offers families a place to talk about that grief, honor their children and find comfort in knowing they aren’t alone.<\/p>\n Ask Danielle and Mike how many children they have, and they’ll tell you four: Stevie, Jude, Buddy, and the one they finally got to bring home, Iris.\u00a0<\/p>\n Children born after a loss are often called rainbow babies, a symbol of hope after the storm. The Otlins named their daughter after the Greek goddess of the rainbow, who, according to mythology, connected heaven and Earth.<\/p>\n And here, beside the little lights glowing in the sand at Baker Beach, their Iris does just that.<\/p>\n “We were incredibly lucky. We don’t ever take it for granted,” Danielle said.<\/p>\n