My wife complains about my increased tendency toward, what she terms, lethargy.<\/p>\n
She claims we don\u2019t get out enough. Maybe take a walk. Go see a movie.<\/p>\n
But I question why it\u2019s necessary to ever leave the house.<\/p>\n
Not when the mail is delivered to the door.<\/p>\n
And the paper.<\/p>\n
Plus there\u2019s no need to do any grocery shopping since all the markets deliver.<\/p>\n
Even if we\u2019d want a pizza, fried chicken, or perhaps some Chinese food, they\u2019re all happy to bring anything right to our door.<\/p>\n
In just minutes.<\/p>\n
I even use Amazon to purchase clothing.<\/p>\n
And why bother to go to the movies when there are more flicks on the big screen than we\u2019re able to watch?<\/p>\n
Add sports.<\/p>\n
And the news.<\/p>\n
Or the soaps for my wife.<\/p>\n
At no added cost.<\/p>\n
And no charge for gas.<\/p>\n
Not to mention, those movie tickets today are a small fortune.<\/p>\n
Add the time and that extra expense, plus popcorn and a couple of sodas.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s a huge amount just to go to the movies, when it costs virtually nothing to watch TV at home.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe need to get out once in a while,\u201d my wife continues.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe do,\u201d I reply. \u201cWe have a lovely backyard with green grass.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not what I mean by getting out. And it\u2019s not grass,\u201d she amends. \u201cIt\u2019s artificial turf.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGrass needs mowing,\u201d I defend, \u201ca constant and unnecessary effort.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot to mention,\u201d I continue, \u201cthe added cost of fertilizer for actual grass. Our backyard, on the other hand, is where we can enjoy the sun, on a comfortable beach chair, with a sandwich, potato salad, and a cold drink.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t get enough exercise,\u201d my wife says. \u201cYou use the phone to order dinner, you consider retrieving the newspaper a workout, you\u2019re in your underwear all day, and your definition of the great outdoors is our backyard.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd your point is?\u201d I inquire.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s nothing like a lovely day at the beach,\u201d she replies.<\/p>\n
\u201cI have a few issues with the beach,\u201d I say. \u201cLike the sand, for example. It either winds up in my sandwich or worse.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s your big complaint, the sand?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe sand, the sea, the salt, the shells, and the sun. Otherwise the beach is great.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s the problem with the sun?\u201d she questions. \u201cA little bronze color would look great on you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou call it bronze; I call it burn.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you suggesting you\u2019d rather stay home?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s a big fat yes,\u201d I reply.<\/p>\n
She says she likes the beach, but she plants an umbrella in the sand to shield the sun, she won\u2019t go in the water because she\u2019s can\u2019t swim, she doesn\u2019t like waves, and she\u2019s not very fond of sharks.<\/p>\n
\u201cHome is where we can order barbecued ribs,\u201d I explain. \u201cAlso fried rice, maybe some egg foo young, moo shu, or shrimp with lobster sauce. Where football, baseball, basketball, and tennis, are on the big screen. Where there\u2019s no cost for gas, no sand, no sea, and no sunburn.\u201d<\/p>\n
Just amazing athletes, armchairs, air conditioning, and Asian food.<\/p>\n