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Goldberg hosts shows at The Foundry in SOMA where she has consistently had AI workers as contestants over the past year. | Source: Courtesy Alli Goldberg<\/p>\nConor Brennan-Burke, CEO of an AI startup Hyperspell, said he\u2019d rather not date an AI doomer. The thought of being in a relationship with another AI startup founder gives product manager Madison Hsieh the ick. And when a guy told elementary schoolteacher Jessica Traver he worked for Elon Musk, she thought \u201cwomp womp, that stinks.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sussing out a person\u2019s stance on artificial intelligence to make sure they align has become a key consideration for many San Francisco singles. They\u2019re looking for hints on dating profiles, doing employer checks on LinkedIn, and asking dates directly about how much they use AI and if they subscribe to any particular AI-adjacent philosophies. It\u2019s the new \u201cwho did you vote for?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt divides the room,\u201d said Alli Goldberg, the host of a dating event called \u201cLove Isn\u2019t Blind\u201d where she publicly digs through men\u2019s phones on stage, including their ChatGPT history and Reddit activity.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
At her most recent show at The Foundry in SoMa, two out of the four bachelors worked in AI. The audience playfully booed one when Goldberg announced what he did. She tours the show in seven cities across the country and finds it funny that the crowd in San Francisco has such a visceral reaction to AI while it is \u201cthe industry that is also underpinning their city.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen I say someone works in AI the room goes crazy,\u201d she said. \u201cOnly in San Francisco do y\u2019all boo for men with jobs. I live in L.A. where I would love to meet a man with a job.\u201d<\/p>\n
Goldberg hosts shows at The Foundry in SOMA where she has consistently had AI workers as contestants over the past year. | Source: Courtesy Alli Goldberg<\/p>\n
Traver, 24, said she knows people aren\u2019t defined by their jobs, but if they worked in the industry, she\u2019d probably be more hesitant to date them. \u201cI think if you work at OpenAI, that\u2019s kind of a red flag.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
The second-grade teacher is not a fan of people pushing products for AI automation and human replacement. If she does meet someone in AI, she\u2019s decided \u201cAnthropic is a little more ethical\u201d than OpenAI, after hearing Anthropic CEO Dario Amodei call for a slowdown in AI development<\/a>.<\/p>\n When Tommy, a San Francisco-based commercial litigator, sees that someone works at an AI lab or startup, he\u2019s skeptical of their values and tends to assume \u201cthey are culture vultures chasing a tech bag or riding the AI hype train to get rich.\u201d It\u2019s not just on dating apps; he recalls hesitating after he learned a woman he was flirting with at a bar worked in sales at OpenAI.\u00a0<\/p>\n The 32-year-old, who declined to share his last name, said it feels important to discuss what\u2019s going on in AI, but at the same time he \u201ccould use a break.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cIf you were on a second, third date and you can choose if you\u2019re gonna talk about politics, religion, or AI, I\u2019d rather talk about politics or religion,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n The specter of AI is inescapable in the Bay Area. It\u2019s covered in AI billboards, and startups like Known, an AI matchmaking app, are pulling marketing stunts targeting people who feel down on dating. The app\u2019s most recent rage-bait campaign featured signs around town that warned, \u201cYou might die alone. (opens in new tab)<\/a>\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n On the apps, people are trying to screen dates ahead of time. Bumble has \u201cAI\u201d as a potential interest, alongside skiing, surfing, and yoga. On Hinge profiles, some local tech workers say they work in \u201cAI\u201d or at an \u201cAI lab\u201d rather than putting the company name. One person\u2019s profile said they work in \u201cAI Safety at Tech\u201d and another that \u201cI\u2019m a real nerd about Inventing AI therapy.\u201d<\/p>\n The wealth afforded the employees of AI companies opens the door to expensive dating coaches and matchmakers. The professionals will help tech workers find people who don\u2019t mind their job, or vet matches who might only want them for their money or company secrets<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n On Thursday, Domo Vang, 29, a San Francisco matchmaker, hosted a dinner for tech workers at Harborview Restaurant & Bar, a Michelin Guide restaurant with views of the bay. People had to apply to attend and men, including some Anthropic employees, paid $800 for a ticket while the women came for free. There were 15 women in their late 20s and mid-30s and seven men, including a man in his 70s and another guy who flew in from Texas for the dinner.<\/p>\n Vang\u2019s clients are mostly men who work at AI companies like OpenAI, Anthropic, Nvidia, and Google. Many found her through her Instagram videos (opens in new tab)<\/a>, where she gives dating advice like \u201cHow to pick up chicks at tech events.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cI think they run the dating scene right now,\u201d she said of men in AI. \u201cThey have a lot of leverage, to be very honest.\u201d<\/p>\n They can pay her $1,000 for a \u201cdiagnostic date,\u201d where she spends the first half hour conducting a mock date. The rest of the time, she gives constructive feedback and blunt notes like \u201cdon\u2019t ever say this ever again.\u201d She said typically the women she meets who want a man in AI already work in tech or an adjacent field themselves.<\/p>\n Women in AI are also promoting their careers as a plus. At a recent Saturday night event in the Mission called \u201cDate My Friend<\/a>,\u201d one woman presented a slide deck promoting her female friend and emphasized how successful she was because she worked in AI.<\/p>\n \u201cI enjoy serious conversations about AI risks, but I think for somebody who\u2019s a very hardcore doomer, it might be difficult for us to relate.\u201d<\/p>\n Conor Brennan-Burke, founder and CEO, Hyperspell<\/p>\n Brennan-Burke, 33, is not trying to romantically benefit from his tech job, at least not yet. He is credited with popularizing the phrase \u201csingle until Series B\u201d \u2014 meaning a founder who won\u2019t date until their startup raises money \u2014 and is sticking to that plan. But once he opens himself up to dating, he said he would never date someone who outright hates AI and capitalism. His ideal partner would want to biohack, live forever, explore Mars, and \u201cconnect our minds to whatever the AI is long-term.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n Even among the tech-positive daters there\u2019s nuance to AI philosophies. Brennan-Burke would have no issue courting an OpenAI worker, but someone from Anthropic might give him pause. He\u2019d want to dig into their philosophy on artificial intelligence because of what he sees as Anthropic\u2019s early association with doomerism<\/a>, or the belief that AI could end humanity.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cI enjoy serious conversations about AI risks, but I think for somebody who\u2019s a very hardcore doomer, it might be difficult for us to relate,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n Dating an AI startup founder became a deal-breaker for Madison Hsieh, 25, after a \u201chorrifying\u201d experience she had a couple of years ago. She said her ex idolized Elon Musk, became \u201cred-pilled,\u201d and she found out he was dating multiple women in different cities. She said the \u201ccontrol and power\u201d some founders and AI workers feel entitled to from the AI boom put a bad taste in her mouth.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cI feel like a lot of females in the Bay don\u2019t want a tech bro who makes a lot of money or is in the startup route because of the mindset that they have,\u201d said Hsieh, who works as a product manager at Amazon Web Services on an AI product.\u00a0<\/p>\n She now has a boyfriend who isn\u2019t an AI founder. He does, however, work at an AI startup.\u00a0<\/p>\n![\"Interests](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/-S3840x1713-FPNG.png\"\/)
The dating app Bumble added \u201cAI\u201d as an option where people share their interests. | Source: Natallie Rocha\/The Standard<\/p>\n