I wasn\u2019t sitting on a beach when I decided to move to Mexico.\u00a0I was sitting in my car in California, thinking about what would happen to someone I loved.\u00a0<\/p>\n
My former partner of 38 years, Sanders\u2014whom we called Sandy\u2014was experiencing dementia-related symptoms. Although we were no longer a couple, we shared a daughter and remained family. I remembered the extensive care his aging parents had required, and wondered what Sandy might need in the years ahead.\u00a0<\/p>\n
After more than three decades in California real estate, I was also contemplating my own future. I wasn\u2019t ready to retire, but I wanted to change how I lived and worked.\u00a0That day, I realized I didn\u2019t need a better retirement plan. I needed different variables.\u00a0<\/p>\n
I decided to establish a home base in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, where I had been visiting for nearly 25 years.\u00a0<\/p>\n
I thought I was planning for a future caregiving challenge.\u00a0I had no idea how quickly that future would arrive.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Rethinking the retirement equation\u00a0<\/p>\n
Americans are encouraged to focus on a retirement number: How much have we saved, and will it be enough?\u00a0<\/p>\n
But where we live can influence how much we need, the healthcare we can access and the communities we build.\u00a0<\/p>\n
I understood real estate from both sides of the transaction. Alongside my brokerage career, I had owned rental properties and other investments. I still own real estate in Sonoma County, California, and Texas.\u00a0<\/p>\n
For approximately a year, I rented a two-bedroom San Francisco apartment for $3,800 a month while considering a transition. In Puerto Vallarta, I found a much larger four-bedroom home with a pool for approximately $3,000.\u00a0<\/p>\n
I wasn\u2019t abandoning my investments. I was discovering that where I owned property didn\u2019t have to determine where I lived.<\/p>\n
I should disclose that I continue working in California and Puerto Vallarta real estate and may benefit professionally when people relocate or purchase property through me.\u00a0<\/p>\n
But the most important return on my move would have nothing to do with property.\u00a0<\/p>\n
When the future arrived\u00a0<\/p>\n
I returned to Sonoma to bring Sandy to Puerto Vallarta.\u00a0<\/p>\n
He had been waiting months for specialist evaluations in California. Through a medical concierge recommended by colleagues, we arranged a neurologist appointment within 10 days of his arrival. The consultation cost approximately $60; an MRI cost about $300.\u00a0<\/p>\n
We began establishing routines. We walked to shops and the beach, attended social gatherings and participated in community activities. Sandy started yoga classes and made new friends.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Then he fell.\u00a0<\/p>\n
One evening, he apparently became disoriented while out alone and fell and hit his head. Medical examinations initially revealed no major injury, but his condition deteriorated.\u00a0<\/p>\n
I found him on the bathroom floor one day, unable to get up. We arranged nursing assistance. He seemed to improve, but after a brief trip when I left him with a private nurse at home I returned to find him seriously unwell.\u00a0<\/p>\n
A urologist discovered an obstruction involving a medical device implanted after earlier prostate cancer treatment. Sandy underwent emergency surgery and spent three days in a private hospital.\u00a0<\/p>\n
When he returned home, we brought in a hospital bed and arranged round-the-clock nursing. I thought he would recover.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Instead, his condition worsened.\u00a0<\/p>\n
I felt as though I were aboard a locomotive that kept gathering speed, unable to slow it down. The future I had been planning for was suddenly happening inside my own home.\u00a0<\/p>\n
What care really costs\u00a0<\/p>\n
The hospital treatment and surgery cost approximately $8,000. Nursing assistance, including eight days of continuous home care, totaled about $7,000. Physician visits and medication for pain management added another $1,000.\u00a0<\/p>\n
That was approximately $16,000 in medical and nursing expenses.\u00a0<\/p>\n
It was a substantial amount, and I wouldn\u2019t suggest every family could afford it. Nor can I claim the same care would necessarily have cost more out of pocket in California, where insurance coverage could have changed the calculation.\u00a0<\/p>\n
What mattered was our ability to arrange private care quickly, in our home, with people we trusted.<\/p>\n
As Sandy declined, I called his sister and our daughter, Anna, who traveled from Madrid.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Our family gathered around his bedside. Nurses attended to his needs while we spent time together. An anesthesiologist visited to help manage his pain.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Anna arrived two days before Sandy died. She slept in the room where his hospital bed stood and was beside him when his breathing changed early one morning.\u00a0<\/p>\n
The experience was heartbreaking. But the support around us allowed us to be his family rather than manage every aspect of his care ourselves.\u00a0<\/p>\n
I had established a home in Mexico hoping it would give us more choices as we aged. I never imagined it would so quickly become the place where we said goodbye.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Healthcare across borders\u00a0<\/p>\n
Living abroad doesn\u2019t eliminate medical or financial risks.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Original Medicare generally doesn\u2019t cover care in Mexico, although some Medicare Advantage plans provide benefits for qualifying emergencies and urgent care abroad.\u00a0<\/p>\n
I maintain Kaiser Permanente Medicare Advantage coverage for my time in California and separate international health insurance through VUMI. I generally pay privately for routine care in Puerto Vallarta. Both policies have limitations, and residency requirements and emergency coverage deserve careful review.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Sandy\u2019s medical expenses were submitted to Kaiser for possible reimbursement; a determination remains pending.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Anyone contemplating retirement abroad should investigate insurance, emergency arrangements and the ability to pay upfront before making the move.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Buying back the future\u00a0<\/p>\n
I expected Mexico to offer lower living expenses. What surprised me was the importance of community.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Through work, volunteering and friendships, I had built relationships that became invaluable during Sandy\u2019s illness.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Moving abroad isn\u2019t right for everyone. Distance from family, unfamiliar systems and language barriers are real considerations. I still value my California connections.\u00a0<\/p>\n
But Sandy\u2019s illness changed how I think about retirement.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Having options meant reaching a specialist when we needed answers. It meant arranging nurses when he could no longer safely be alone. It meant bringing a hospital bed into our home.\u00a0<\/p>\n
And ultimately, it meant giving Anna and our family time to sit beside him.<\/p>\n
No geography protects us from illness or grief. But where we live can change the resources, relationships and possibilities available when life takes an unexpected turn.\u00a0<\/p>\n
I thought I was building options for a distant future.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Sandy taught me how urgently we may need them.\u00a0<\/p>\n
And why we should begin building them before we do.<\/p>\n
The opinions expressed in Fortune.com commentary pieces are solely the views of their authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and beliefs of Fortune.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"I wasn\u2019t sitting on a beach when I decided to move to Mexico.\u00a0I was sitting in my car…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":507493,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[7,9,8,2457],"class_list":["post-507492","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-california","tag-california","tag-california-headlines","tag-california-news","tag-mexico"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/507492","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=507492"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/507492\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/507493"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=507492"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=507492"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=507492"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}