BAKERSFIELD, Calif. (KBAK\/KBFX) \u2014 Domestic violence does not always leave visible injuries. For Jeanette Canez, the effects of abuse continued long after the relationships ended.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt affected me tremendously,\u201d she said. \u201cI still have their voices in my head.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jeanette said she had two abusive relationships, one when she was 19 and another when she was 30. Looking back, she said, she had difficulty recognizing warning signs. She also said growing up around abuse affected what she viewed as normal in a relationship.<\/p>\n
In her first relationship, Jeanette said her partner told her what she could wear and do.<\/p>\n
\u201cHim telling me my clothes were too tight or don’t wear these type of clothes around my friends,\u201d she said. \u201cJust tell me what I could and couldn’t do. That’s where most of it started.\u201d<\/p>\n
She said her second partner was often angry with her, but could quickly change his behavior around other people. After he hit her, Jeanette said, she went to the Open Door Network for shelter and support. She said her children motivated her to build a healthier life for them.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don’t want them to think that hitting someone is love,\u201d she said. \u201cAnd I don’t want them to be abused or vice versa.\u201d<\/p>\n
Abuse can take forms beyond physical violence<\/p>\n
Noe Ontiveros, a community engagement specialist with the Open Door Network, described domestic violence as a pattern of power and control. He said it can include emotional, verbal and financial abuse.<\/p>\n
Warning signs can include a partner controlling what someone wears, who they see or how they spend money. Ontiveros said technology can also be part of controlling behavior, such as repeatedly demanding passwords or questioning someone about their location and social media activity.<\/p>\n
For friends and family, he said, warning signs may include a loved one becoming withdrawn, spending less time with family or feeling they need to check with a partner before making plans. He cautioned that any one behavior by itself does not necessarily mean someone is experiencing abuse.<\/p>\n
If someone is concerned, Ontiveros recommends checking in without judgment and letting the person know they are available to talk. He said it may be difficult to leave an abusive relationship for many reasons, including financial dependence, isolation, children or not knowing what help is available.<\/p>\n
What happens when someone calls police<\/p>\n