With the Miami Hurricanes and Indiana Hoosiers set to battle for the College Football Playoff National Championship on Monday night, the latest edition of NBC’s Saturday Night Live spoofed Miami’s ultimate hype man, Michael Irvin.
Kam Patterson played Irvin, the highly energetic former national champion at Miami and three-time Super Bowl champion as a star wide receiver for the Dallas Cowboys, during “Weekend Update” on SNL alongside host Michael Che.
“The college football national championship game kicks off this Monday with Indiana taking on Miami,” Che said. “Here to talk about it is football legend and Miami’s most enthusiastic fan, Michael Irvin.”
“Woooooo! That’s what I’m talking about!” Patterson responded.
“My resting heart rate is a perfect score: 16,000,” Patterson said. “My mama was a hummingbird, and my daddy was a brick of cocaine!”
“Ooh, I got to get out of here; I got to get to Miami!” Patterson said, to begin the closing exchange.
“The game isn’t until Monday,” Che responded.
“Yeah, but I’m running there!” Patterson explained. “I figure if I leave now, hop on 95, depending on what they’re in traffic, it should take me about six and a half hours!’
“Wait, you’re running to Miami?” Che asked.
“That’s right, Michael!” Patterson said. “So, if you see an angry 60-year-old man running down Highway 95, well over the speed limit, with bugs all over his face, and an ass with the police tranquilizer darts, you’d better get out the way!”
“Michael Irvin, everybody,” Che said.
“Belt to ass!” Patterson said to conclude the segment while making the “U” sign.