What could be more romantic this upcoming Valentine’s Day than some candlelight, flowers, and an honest discussion about blue chip mutual funds?
This follows the advice found in “Peace Through Marriage and Money,” a workshop for couples looking for financial security, led by Jacques M. Joseph Jr. and Melissa Joseph.
Jacques runs Jacques Joseph Financial Services, through which he does one-on-one and one-to-many coaching. He’s also a budget analyst for the City of Miami. Melissa is a career and leadership coach.
Jacques and Melissa Joseph have been together for five years and married for one and a half.
(Courtesy of Jacques and Melissa Joseph)
“One of the leading causes of divorce is finances and disagreement with finances. And so with our workshops, we really work to create cohesion between couples,” Melissa said. “Money can be a very personal and touchy topic, and so when two people get married, oftentimes we just assume that the other spouse is on the same page as us.”
The couple has been together for five years and married for a year and a half. Melissa stressed that before their marriage, openness was important.
“Even just before we got engaged, we just started having conversations about finances. I had to let him know about my student loan debt, something that a lot of people can relate to, and so having to relay that big number to him and give him the option of whether or not he wanted to be tied to (it), it was a tough conversation,” she said.
“Now that I’m married, I’m glad we had those conversations early, because there are no surprises.”
Jacques said he sees an important connection between love and finance, “because there’s no ‘honey’ if there is no money.”
The duo now shares that philosophy with others through the workshops. Melissa explained that the sessions help couples communicate what their financial goals and fears are, ultimately allowing them to create a vision and plan for the future.
Central to that mission is the importance of working together, they say.
”A majority of the time I normally see where the wife would have the household finances and the husband doesn’t know anything else,” Jacques said. “All he knows is work. The wife handles the kids, manages the household and everything else. But on the other end, there’s a few that may be where the man says, ‘I’m the man and I bring in all the bacon, and this is what it is,’ and the woman has no voice.”
”And ultimately, what we try to get to is where both have a voice in their financial future,” Melissa said.
Melissa said this is particularly important in the event of tight times.
“Unfortunately, everyone experiences a financial crisis in some way, shape or form, and you won’t be prepared for it, whether it’s going to be a medical issue where those bills can accumulate quickly, whether someone loses their job — and in this climate, a lot of people are getting laid off,” she said. “So we want couples to be able to communicate the hard stuff up front, so that when those situations arise, they’re able to come together with a plan and figure it out together.”
Jacques’ own interest in financial planning was triggered by a family crisis: his mother was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer.
“We didn’t have the means to pay for anything, and I saw the struggle between her and my father to deal with that situation,” he said. “… And then I said, ‘Whenever I get married, that will not happen to me or my family,’ and if I don’t want that to happen to my family, I don’t want it to happen to anybody else.”
Melissa laid out what a typical session consists of, beginning with a general discussion of goals and problem areas.
“And the reason behind that is that, at the end of the day, doing a budget is pretty easy. It’s all numbers. It’s very black and white,” she said. “But we want to know from just an emotional standpoint where the couple is, how are they communicating and just understanding: this is the husband’s vision going forward; this is the wife’s vision going forward. How do we create cohesion so that when we do bring in the bills and bring in the investments and all of those other things, they’re speaking the same language and are actually agreeing on the same things?”
She said from there, they discuss the basics of money: which expenses could be cut, and how they could earn extra income.
“Bringing in additional income helps couples propel faster to what their goals are, whether that be sending their kids to private school, being able to start to fund their own retirement — which oftentimes gets neglected as we grow families — or even putting down the down payment for our house,” Melissa said.
Weekly sessions are followed by quarterly check-ins, “just to make sure that things are going the way that they should be,” she said.
“The main common goal is to have financial clarity for the both of them,” Jacques said, “and what we want them to do is become investors together so they build upon that common goal.”
Jacques Joseph Financial services can be reached at http://linktr.ee/jacquesjoseph14.