Once again in a long line of once agains, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis and company have given a fat middle finger to the voters of Florida by concocting a secretive scheme that violates the will of the people.
Aren’t they tired? Physically? Of being this way? It takes special gumption to cheat and deceive this much. You really have to chug eight raw eggs a morning to be this bravely unrepentant to the people you serve. You really have to wake up, kiss the nearby framed photo of President Donald Trump’s gold-embossed patootie, pull on your archival Eric Cartman underpants and declare, “Whatever! I do what I want!”
In case you have blacked out from overwhelm, which would be reasonable, here’s a recap:
Trump, facing a growing wave of ick as midterms approach, has been asking states to help him by tinkering with congressional maps. On Monday, DeSantis released a proposal redder than a rare filet. There’s a couple blue pity dots, probably for comic effect.
Maps are usually updated every decade along with census data. Florida was not due, especially considering DeSantis already messed with districts in 2022. The employee who ginned up the latest map, Jason Poreda, openly admitted to using partisan data. Tampa Bay Times analysis shows that the new map, which DeSantis claims is race-neutral, would increase the number of predominantlywhite districts.
Lawmakers didn’t even see the proposal before, of course, Fox News did. Two days later, the Florida Legislature approved the plan in a special session after two hours of debate.
If other states are redrawing maps, you may ask, why can’t Florida? Great question. Florida expressly bans partisan redistricting in its constitution and has for a long time. In 2010, 63% of voters supported the Fair Districts Amendment, which says redistricting can’t be done to favor a political party or to strip voting access from minorities.
Not to mention, voters never had a say in this. In Virginia, for example, recent redistricting proposals were placed on the ballot. Remember voters? They are the bipedal types with opposable thumbs.
The governor’s office said it didn’t need to follow the constitution because the U.S. Supreme Court was gearing up to dismantle a portion of the Voting Rights Act, another branch of this withering late-stage democracy tree for us to fall from, sinking deeper into mental blackout in the leaves below.
This stuff can be weedy and dense. Let’s break it down even further:
Florida voters banned partisan gerrymandering.
Hey, remember when all those celebrities, including Aunt Becky from “Full House,” cheated to get their kids into universities? The energy of this and other DeSantis-adjacent blights — the state parks saga, the Hope Florida debacle — suggests a sad lack of confidence. It’s giving, “We can’t succeed in a way that respects the democratic process, so we’re going to brainstorm half-baked workarounds on a crumbling Tallahassee corkboard before heading out for another weeknight of bottom-shelf Old Fashioneds.”
Some wonks have argued that this move was a risk, making certain Republican seats more vulnerable. It could be a risk in a more ancient sense, too, one in which cheaters are loooooosers. Who was it that said he doesn’t like losers? Anyway.
Stripping the people of any say in the makeup of their representation is desperate at best, illegal at worst, and it may turn off a few reliable voters who have had enough. Yes, voters, remember them? Despite the state’s best efforts, they do still exist.
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