Aba. Jojo. Abi. Abuela. Ma. Grandma, even Fancy. No matter the name, there’s a common thread among the grandmothers we spoke with: a special bond built on time spent together.
As we worked on this Mom Issue, one idea kept bringing smiles, featuring grandmothers who are active, present and deeply involved in their grandkids’ lives on the island.
Meet Fancy, Jojo and Abi. Between them, they share 18 grandchildren, so it’s safe to say they know a thing or two about this role.
Here are their stories.
Nancy Stoner, called “Fancy” by her grandkids, has watched Key Biscayne grow alongside her family. A Village Councilmember, she is also a mother of five and grandmother of six.
“All my children were born on the Key,” she said, reflecting on decades spent building their lives in the same community. “Now one of my sons lives here, so one set of grandchildren lives on the Key … we have a lot of three generations together. It’s really kind of amazing.”
For Stoner, grandmotherhood on the Key means biking familiar streets with new little ones, gathering at local favorite spots and recreating the childhoods their parents once had.
“They just want their children to have the same experience and the same good fortune that they had,” she said.
That continuity of place and values is what makes it so meaningful.
Though her weekends are filled with family time, Stoner stays busy as a lawyer, councilwoman and active community member.
“I sleep very few hours.” she said, making her priorities clear. “I make time for them because they’re my priority.”
At this stage of life, the biggest shift is responsibility.
“It really is fun to be a grandparent,” she said. “You don’t have the day-to-day worries but we spend an enormous amount of time together.”
Whether boating, traveling or sharing everyday moments, she embraces the role with joy and intention.
Reflecting on motherhood and grandmotherhood, Stoner quoted her own mother: “There’s no one who tells you how to be a good parent, you just do the best you can.”
Stoner applies that philosophy to both of her roles, emphasizing openness, patience and respect for different perspectives, values she has carried from home into public life.
When asked about the joys of being a grandmother, Joan McCaughan, “Jojo” to her grandkids, responded the way a grandmother of five would:
“Oh man, I’m very lucky,” she said.
Her grandkids, ages 13 to 16, all live on Key Biscayne.
“My joy comes from being with them, any way and any time,” McCaughan said, recalling a recent stretch when she had two of them at home “all to herself” while their parents were out of town. “I used to take care of all five at the same time, no nannies or anything, all by myself. Two were toddlers and Johnny was a baby, and it was pure joy.”
She laughed, admitting she was exhausted by the time they were picked up.
These days, she’s just as present, cheering them on at every game.
“Lacrosse, basketball, soccer, whatever they’re playing, I’m there,” she said.
Asked about her sideline behavior, she laughed:
“Don’t get me started,” describing it as “cheering and screaming.”
She was the same way with her daughters, Eileen, Jamie and Melissa, all strong athletes, with Jamie and Melissa excelling in soccer. Eileen, her oldest, was tragically killed by a drunk driver at just 15 years old. In her memory, family and friends established a scholarship fund in 1989 to honor her life.
Last week, the 37th annual Eileen McCaughan Memorial Scholarship Fund Pasta Dinner was held at the Key Biscayne Beach Club, where 15 students were awarded scholarships.
For McCaughan, sharing that moment with her grandkids was especially meaningful.
“The place was packed, and they understood what was going on,” she said. “They know a part of our family is missing, but they also know this is a way to keep Eileen’s memory alive.”
To Jojo, being a grandmother is something she treasures deeply.
“I’m fortunate to have been there since day one, when they were born,” she said. “I love the memories. They make your heart smile.”
For another involved abuela, Ana Rasco, or “Abi” to her seven grandchildren (ages 2 to 15) “sharing the small moments” brings her immense joy.
“Oh, my goodness, to spend time with them, doing what they want to do, putting the baby to sleep, it’s all incredibly rewarding,” Rasco said. “I consider it a privilege to be part of their lives.” She added that one of her favorite activities is playing board games with them.
Rasco also loves having everyone together.
“I love to have all of them around me at the same time, as often as possible,” she said.
The Rascos regularly plan “family days,” when she and her husband, Mayor Joe Rasco, spend time with their children and grandchildren.
“You have to enjoy the present, live your life with them,” she said.
Looking back, Rasco recalls that when her own children were young, she was working as an educator. While she stayed involved, she missed some moments and relied on her own mother for help.
“Now I’m paying it forward,” she said. “Returning the favor and allowing my children to build their lives, while I help with their kids.”
She describes her relationship with her grandchildren as different from parenting.
“When you are a parent, you have the responsibility to teach and instill wisdom and discipline,” she said. “As a grandparent, you have the time, experience and patience to understand more, to be a better listener, and yes, to have fun.” She added with a laugh, “If I knew grandkids were this much fun, I would have had them first.”
Asked what advice she would give other abuelas, Rasco did not hesitate:
“Love and nurture them,” she said. “Spend as much time with them as you can, they grow up so quickly, and you don’t want to regret missing any part of their lives. Grandkids are special.”
Or, as Jojo McCaughan put it: “The icing on the cake.”