Credit: Shutterstock

Were you a self-described Nazi just a few months ago? Are you currently in town for two non-consecutive shows and locked into a binding contract that can only be canceled if there’s a level 5 terrorist threat?

Sounds like you might have a day off or two.

Well, don’t confine yourself to a stuffy backroom of Raymond James Stadium, get out there! Tampa Bay offers plenty of ways to let loose! 

From world-class strip clubs to popular parks and beaches, what follows are the best things to do in the Tampa Bay region if you’re a “former” Nazi.

High-angle aerial view of crowded Clearwater Beach in Florida with white sand, blue ocean, palm trees, and Pier 60 winding path.Clearwater Beach, Florida Credit: Shutterstock

Clearwater Beach Look, “White Lives Matter” is a soft stance. However, nothing beats the soft white sands of Clearwater Beach. Sure, experts may say being racist isn’t synonymous with being bi-polar, but dipping your toes in the waves after a long day of standing on a big ass globe IS synonymous with this award-winning patch of sugary sand!

Water Works Park Credit: City of Tampa

Water Works Park Are you the type of guy to post “IM NEVER APOLOGIZING FOR MY JEWISH COMMENTS,” and then a little later take out a lengthy full-page apology in the Wall Street Journal? We get it! At Tampa’s Waterworks Park flip-flops are allowed! This splash pad is unmatched! 

An aerial drone view of the modern St. Pete Pier jutting into the green waters of Tampa Bay. The iconic pointed pier head building sits at the end of the long concrete walkway, with the St. Petersburg city skyline and construction cranes visible in the background under a clear sky.An aerial view of the St. Pete Pier Credit: Visit St. Pete-Clearwater

The St. Pete Pier Was it dumb to think “slavery is a choice?” Absolutely. But not spending a day at the beautiful St. Pete Pier certainly is a choice. Frolic on the popular Glazer playground, grab a bite to eat at Pier Teaki, and soak in the skyline while you think about how not that long ago the entire pier and nearby Spa Beach was completely off limits to Black people. What a time to be alive!

Weedon Island Preserve Credit: Photo via Weedon Island Preserve/Facebook

Explore Tampa Bay’s hiking trails As of now, it looks like Raymond James isn’t even half full for the Sunday show. But sometimes being alone is great! Summer is easily one of the best times to explore Tampa Bay’s popular hiking trails without all the crowds! Not even immense public outcry over antisemitic remarks can stop you from enjoying some quality bird watching at Weedon Island Preserve.

Credit: Shutterstock

Visit any of Tampa Bay’s world-famous strip clubs Still a little bummed about losing your presidential bid? Relax, you’ll get the presidential treatment at one of Tampa Bay’s extravagant strip clubs. Step into a champagne room and forget all about those 60,000 total votes, or the time you rapped the words “R. Kelly and the god of rap, shittin on you, holy crap.” Get ready to tip, unc! 

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