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It’s time again for my favorite weekend of the year — St. Peter’s Fiesta in Gloucester, that strange, endearing, greasy, and somehow-still-legal festival to honor the patron saint of fishermen.

Fiesta is famous for its Greasy Pole competition — where lunatics walk across a horizontal telephone pole extending over the ocean, attempting to grab a flag on the end while slipping and sliding their way through Crisco and all sorts of slimy stuff. Only one person will get the flag. The rest will wipeout dramatically.

I’ve written about this festival a few times over the years, and readers always hit me up with logistical questions, because the truth is the whole thing is kind of confusing if you’re not a local, the official website looks like it was made on a Commodore 64 (which is part of the charm), and parking is a free-for-all (but doable). So herein is my guide to a day trip to Fiesta (and my urging to do it once in your life; there really is nothing else like it).

Joe DaSilva falls off during the Greasy Pole Contest at Pavilion Beach on June 29, 2025.

Where: Your goal is to get to Pavilion Beach by 4:45 p.m. on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. The Greasy Pole has different competitors each day, and there’s a complicated system to explain that, but for a visitor it doesn’t matter which night you go. Get to the beach by 4:45 (it’s right behind the Beauport Hotel) and you’ll get the full experience.

Parking: Let’s make this easy to get in and out. Take exit 53 off Route 128, then aim your car toward the Gloucester movie theater at 74 Essex Ave. As you get close, you will start seeing cars parked up and down both sides of that road. Join them. From there, it’s a short walk to Western Avenue, the waterfront promenade locals call “the boulevard.” The harbor in front of you will be full of boats. You’ll hear the noise coming from Pavilion Beach off to the left. You’re basically there.

Get stuck at The Cut: You’re probably gonna experience another Gloucester tradition as you walk down the boulevard, which is waiting at a bridge that goes over a narrow canal. It goes up and down constantly to let boats pass between the Annisquam River and Gloucester Harbor, but relish it if you get caught, for this is a famously treacherous crossing for boaters and there’s a popular Instagram account devoted to the mayhem that happens going through The Cut.

Go to the beach: The tide will be low all three days, which means you’ll have more room on the beach and the pole walkers will have more distance to fall. Both of these are good for you, because there will be thousands of people down there. Again, part of the charm. I’ve been taking my children since they were toddlers, and I’ve never felt any stress on that beach. Out in the harbor, the water will be crowded with boats anchored up and getting Spring Break-rowdy, but I’ve never seen anything to worry about on the beach.

Watch the Seine boat races: Before the pole starts, there will be the Seine boat races, woefully underappreciated by visitors but sacred in Gloucester. Seine boats are hulking crafts they once used to gather fishing nets offshore, and they weigh as much as a Zamboni. There will be three boats, each with 10 rowers, who will set off from the beach, go a half mile out, turn around a buoy, then race back to the sand, where there is often a photo finish as they plow into the beach. Having rowed in these races in the past, I can’t begin to describe how physically grueling these 10-12 minutes are on your body. The women race on Friday, then the men on Saturday and Sunday.

Time for the mayhem: When the Seine boat race ends, the Greasy Pole begins. No one can grab the flag during the first round, so the competitors will be wearing ridiculous costumes and doing their best to try to plow some of the grease off the pole. In the second round, it’s live, and it will go until someone gets the flag. Some years, this happens quickly. Other years, it seems like no one will ever get the thing. Regardless, it’s always entertaining, and the winner will be carried up the beach on the shoulders of their competitors, then around the corner to a shrine where they will be immortalized forever.

Join the chant: Several times you’re going to hear someone scream out “Me chi samiou, dute mute!” You won’t know what they’re saying (it means: “What are we, mute?”) but then you’ll hear the whole crowd respond “Viva San Pietro!” This call and response will happen three times. Join in, then you’ll get to the fun part. The caller will yell “Viva!” You’ll yell “Viva!” Do that three times and now and forever, you’ll have been a part of Fiesta. Even though you’ll never be able to fully explain what it is.

Go to the carnival: Just off the beach is a carnival. Everyone flows there after the Greasy Pole. And who doesn’t love a carnival?

Actually, forget I asked that. Just go to Fiesta. You’ll love it or your money back. (It’s free.) Viva!

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This newsletter was edited by Curt Woodward and produced by Ryan Orlecki.

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Billy Baker can be reached at billy.baker@globe.com. Follow him on Instagram @billy_baker.