A Monday morning trip to Publix turned into a full blown criminal case for a Naples man, and not because he forgot his shopping list. Collier County deputies say 69 year old Joseph Straface was driving erratically at 10:30 a.m., which is a time slot most of us reserve for coffee runs and grocery pickups, not swerving across solid lines.
The whole thing started when a deputy got a call about a reckless driver near Airport Road and Pine Ridge Road. Instead of chasing anyone down, the deputy did the smart thing and found the car parked at the Publix on that corner, then waited. Sure enough, around 10:35 a.m., the driver came back out and hopped in.
What happened next is the kind of driving that makes every defensive driving instructor wince. According to Gulf Coast News Now, Straface rolled through two stop signs, then punched the gas hard enough to accelerate rapidly into the right lane of southbound Airport Road. Deputies say he also drifted over the solid right line, which is basically a driving instructor’s nightmare trifecta in under a minute.
Given the string of violations, a deputy pulled him over. That is usually where these stories calm down a bit. This one did not.
The Traffic Stop Escalates Fast
Before the car had even fully stopped, Straface reportedly jumped out. He was told to get back in and wait, which is standard procedure, but he hopped out a second time as the deputy walked up. Deputies described him as uncooperative and aggressive, with the telltale signs many of us associate with a rough night out: slurred speech, red watery eyes, and a strong smell of alcohol.
He also allegedly swung his arms at deputies while cursing, which is not exactly the move you want to make when you are already surrounded by law enforcement.
Refusing the Test and Requesting Jail Directly
When asked to run through standard field sobriety exercises, the usual walk the line and follow the pen routine, Straface reportedly declined. His exact response, according to the report, was to tell deputies to just take him to jail.
Deputies obliged, though getting him into the patrol car apparently took some doing, since he was kicking and cursing the whole way.
Threats Continue En Route to Jail
This is where the story stops being darkly funny and turns serious. While being driven to jail, Straface allegedly told the deputy he would kill him no matter what it takes, and threatened to kill the deputy’s wife and children in front of him. The threats reportedly did not stop once they arrived at the jail either.
Straface now faces charges of DUI, refusal to submit to DUI testing, and threatening death to a law enforcement officer. A mid morning grocery run is a pretty ordinary errand for most of us. This one ended with handcuffs, a squad car, and some serious legal trouble.
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