Back-to-school season comes with more than new schedules and fresh supplies – it brings a wave of big and unspoken emotions. From first-day jitters to shifting social dynamics, kids of all ages are navigating more than we can see.
And right now, those feelings may be harder to process than ever.
“We live in such a digital world where we’re constantly inundated with information,” said Natasha L. Poulopoulos, Ph.D., a pediatric psychologist at Holtz Children’s Hospital. “We’re distracted and struggling to slow down. A big thing kids are missing nowadays is having adults in their lives sit with them.”
Those moments, she explains, are where kids begin to understand what they’re feeling and how to handle it. Without them, it’s harder for children and teens to build the skills they need to navigate change, uncertainty, and everyday challenges.
During back-to-school season, these moments tend to show up more often, usually in the middle of ordinary days, when your child is trying to figure something out in real time. The shift, she says, is often in how you meet them there, and starts with small, everyday changes.
Make time to connect
Back-to-school advice usually begins with establishing routines and foundations, such as sleep/wake schedules, nutritious meals, and scheduled screen time. But in addition to maintaining consistent routines, kids also need regular one-on-one time with their parents or caregivers.
That connection doesn’t have to be long or complicated – what matters is being fully present and doing it consistently.
“Help model for them what it’s like to put away a distraction and to be fully present,” Dr. Poulopoulos said.
This creates something kids can count on and even look forward to. When there’s a predictable time to connect, they know there will be space to share what’s on their mind, whether it’s something small or something that feels bigger.
Over time, that consistency makes it easier for them to open up when it matters most. You’ve already laid down the groundwork.
Let it unfold
If your child shrugs off questions about their day or says everything is “fine,” roll with it. Opening up takes time, especially if it’s not already part of the routine.
Instead of pressing for answers, focus on consistency.
“They’re going to come to you in their own time,” Dr. Poulopoulos said. “But you have to be sure there is a regular opportunity for them to do so, so they can start small and do it at their own pace.”
Creating a predictable check-in, like after dinner or before bed, helps kids know when that space will be there. Over time, that predictability builds trust.
Don’t rush to fix it
When a child is struggling, whether they’re nervous about school, feeling left out, or overwhelmed by something small that suddenly feels big, the instinct for many parents is to make it go away by reassuring, stepping in, or solving the problem themselves.
But these moments are part of life, and learning how to move through them is part of healthy development.
“As a parent, your job is not to make certain feelings go away. Your job is to be present, supportive, and help them learn how to move through those feelings,” said Dr. Poulopoulos.
That might look like sitting next to them and acknowledging what they’re feeling, without trying to fix it right away. Saying, “That sounds really hard,” and letting the moment be what it is.
It can feel uncomfortable to pause there. But that’s where the learning happens. Kids begin to understand that difficult feelings are not something to avoid or erase, but something they can experience and endure.
Over time, that’s what builds resilience.
Stay calm first
When emotions run high, whether it’s frustration, anxiety, or tears at the end of a long day, how a parent responds can shape what happens next.
“When you’re calm and connected, you’re helping your child regulate. Remember, a regulated nervous system in the room can go a long way,” Dr. Poulopoulos explained.
That’s not always easy in the moment. Parents are often juggling their own stress, distractions, and reactions. But taking a brief pause, even a breath, before responding can shift the tone of the interaction.
Kids take their cues from the adults around them. When you show up grounded and steady, it helps them begin to regulate, too. Over time, those repeated moments become a model for how to handle big emotions – not just in childhood, but well beyond it.
Teach, don’t take over
It’s natural to want to step in when your child is struggling, especially when you can see a clear way to fix the problem. But constantly stepping in can keep kids from learning how to navigate challenges on their own.
Instead, the goal is to help them build the skills to handle what comes up.
Before offering a solution, try asking what they need in that moment. What do they think would help? Do they want to talk it through, or just vent for a bit?
Giving them a choice does two things. It shows that you’re listening, it helps them begin to tune into their own needs and responses, and problem-solve for themselves.
You can still offer guidance or share what has helped you in similar situations. But over time, these small shifts create space for kids to think, process, and work through challenges with growing confidence.
Kids learn that while you’re there to support them, they are also capable of finding their own way forward.