Ahhh, football season in Florida.

You can smell it in the air: charcoal smoke drifting across stadium parking lots, overpriced beer being spilled on freshly purchased jerseys and the faint aroma of desperation emanating from athletic departments that just realized firing a coach now requires the GDP of a small Caribbean nation.

Yes, football is back. And so is your Oracle of the Option, your Sultan of the Snap Count, your Prognosticator of Play-Action – the proficient, profound and occasionally preposterous Professor Pigskin.

As always, Professor Pigskin will take questions from our studio audience. Please remember: No wagering on these predictions. Mainly because anyone who wagered on them last year is probably living in a storage unit.

Studio Audience: Professor, what’s the greatest rivalry in college football?

Professor Pigskin: Forget Ohio State-Michigan and Alabama-Auburn. The greatest rivalry is the NCAA vs. the concept of eligibility.

Every year the NCAA attempts to enforce some quaint little notion that college athletes are actually supposed to eventually leave college, while players, lawyers, boosters, collectives and pom-pom-waving local judges respond, “Not so fast!”

At this rate, college football players are going to have more eligibility than Supreme Court justices. Pretty soon, we’re going to see a 32-year-old quarterback introduced on Senior Day with his wife, three kids, mortgage broker and 401(k) advise

SA: Does Mike Norvell save his job at Florida State?

PP: Absolutely. Have you seen his buyout?

Firing Norvell would require FSU to take out a second mortgage on Doak Campbell Stadium, sell Osceola’s horse on Facebook Marketplace and start a GoFundMe called “Please Help Us Make Mike Go Away.”

Luckily, they won’t need it. The Seminoles will rebound this season and make a run at the ACC championship.

SA: What about Jon Sumrall in his first season at Florida?

PP: Gator fans will be stunned when they discover their new coach occasionally makes decisions without consulting a laminated flow chart, three analysts and a 47-page feasibility study on whether to call timeout.

Billy Napier built infrastructure. Lots of infrastructure. By the end, Florida’s football staff had more employees than Disney World. Nobody knew exactly what they all did, but I’m pretty sure there was an assistant director of assistant directors.

Sumrall’s revolutionary philosophy: Get good players. Coach them hard. Win games.

Florida becomes one of the country’s surprise teams and makes an unexpected run into the College Football Playoff. And somewhere, Napier will stare at his 14-page game-management spreadsheet and mutter, “Why didn’t I think of that?”

SA: We’re entering Scott Frost 2.0, Year 2 at UCF. What happens?

PP: Hopefully Frost discovers a razor.

Seriously, Frosty, you’re the head coach at UCF, not the bass player in a Lynyrd Skynyrd tribute band playing Bike Week. Every time I see Frost with that scruffy beard, I expect him to hold up a cardboard sign reading: “WILL CALL PLAYS FOR NIL MONEY.”

But quarterback Alonza Barnett will provide a spark, UCF finally makes some noise in the Big 12 and finishes 8-4.

That’s not 2017 Scott Frost, but Knights fans will gladly take it – as long as Frost 2.0 doesn’t eventually become Nebraska 2.0.

SA: What do you expect from the Jacksonville Jaguars?

PP: The dress rehearsal for next year.

The Jags will play in Orlando next season while their Jacksonville stadium gets a billion-dollar makeover, and they’ll arrive in Central Florida as legitimate Super Bowl contenders. Trevor Lawrence and the Jags go 13-4 and advance to the AFC Championship Game.

They won’t quite reach the Super Bowl, but Orlando will probably start planning next year’s championship parade anyway. And because it’s Orlando, they’ll charge $35 to park for it.

SA: How about the Tampa Bay Buccaneers?

PP: The Bucs have two major advantages: Baker Mayfield and the NFC South. Winning the NFC South is like being the best restaurant at an I-75 rest stop. Congratulations, but let’s keep it in perspective.

Baker’s contract negotiations will continue, meaning every touchdown pass adds another waterfront mansion to his asking price.

The Bucs go 9-8.

In most divisions, that’s mediocre.

In the NFC South, that’s a dynasty.

SA: What happens with the Miami Dolphins?

PP: Remember the perfect 1972 Dolphins?

This year’s Dolphins will honor them by doing the exact opposite. After cutting Tua Tagovailoa and taking a financial hit so painful their salary cap now requires FEMA assistance, Miami will achieve a different kind of perfection:

0-17.

The anti-’72 Dolphins.

Instead of the surviving ’72 Dolphins popping champagne when the last undefeated team loses, these Dolphins will pop a Walmart store-brand Sam’s Choice Cola when the last winless team finally wins.

SA: Wait a minute. You think the Dolphins will go 0-17, but you think the Miami Hurricanes are going to be good?

PP: Good? The Canes will be great. I’m talking NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP great!

SA: Haven’t you been predicting Miami will finally win the ACC for years? They’ve been in the league since 2004 and still haven’t won it.

PP: Facts have never gotten in the way of a Professor Pigskin prediction before, and they’re not starting now. Mark it down, Miami finally wins the ACC, storms through the College Football Playoff and wins the natty.

South Florida will erupt, and thousands of Miami fans who haven’t attended a home game since 2003 will immediately post on social media about how they’ve “been here through it all.”

SA: Professor, after predicting the Dolphins go winless and Miami wins it all, I’m almost afraid to ask: Who wins the Super Bowl?

PP: The Los Angeles Rams beat the Jacksonville Jaguars.

SA: Wait. Didn’t you just say Jacksonville loses in the AFC Championship Game?

PP: Did I?

SA: Yes. Five minutes ago.

PP: As our president would say, “Fake news!” This is what’s wrong with journalism today. All this unnecessary fact-checking.

Fine. The Jaguars will lose the AFC Championship Game, file an appeal and get a pom-pom-waving local judge to grant them additional postseason eligibility.

Rams over Jaguars in the Super Bowl.

Write it down.

And if I’m wrong, I’ll do what every respected football expert does:

Delete the post.

SA: Before you go, Professor Piggy, how about your traditional Rodney Dangerfield public-service announcement?

PP: Of course. For everyone attending games this fall: Tailgate responsibly. Don’t overindulge. Never drink and drive.

And remember the immortal Rodney, who posed for the cover of the Orlando Sentinel football preview in 2004 and told us:

“I drink way too much. The last time I gave a urine sample, it had an olive in it.”

Welcome back, football.

Professor Pigskin has spoken.

Email me at mbianchi@orlandosentinel.com. Hit me up on social media @BianchiWrites and listen to my radio show “Game On” every weekday from 3 to 6 p.m. on FM 96.9, AM 740 and 969TheGame.com/listen.