TAMPA – Thanksgiving is a good time to gather around the table with your family and enjoy the holiday. But experts know, sometimes that doesn’t happen.
“We’re hoping for people to kind of like, get along and be, you know, value each other, respect each other. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst,” said Dr. Elizabeth Bendick.
Bendick is a clinical psychologist who specializes in complicated family dynamics, trauma and relationship challenges.
She suggests going in with a plan, knowing your non-negotiable topics and setting your firm boundaries.
“You can compassionately communicate to someone like, hey, I want you to back off that topic,” Bendick said. “Or why don’t we talk about that offline.”
What they’re saying:
Bendick said if you have a partner, it is crucial you enter difficult holiday situations as a team.
“Talk to your partner and your support person ahead of time to know what again to communicate those boundaries, what you’re willing to kind of compromise, what you’re not willing to compromise, and what are your hard stops and your boundaries as a pair,” Bendick said.
Another point of stress can be deciding where to spend holidays and for how long.
“Outline what you’re willing and not willing to do, what you can accommodate and what you can’t accommodate, and then have that messaging be consistent from both partners,” Bendick said.
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But it’s important to know the holidays aren’t always happy for some and complications can come from a place of loss and change.
“While these are really happy times for a lot of people filled with excitement, there’s a lot of you know, memories and complicated dynamics, not only from the present family, but you know, grief and loss,” Bendick said.
Ultimately Bendick wants people to remember that they are not accountable for other people’s behavior.
“Healthily distance yourself from personalizing it because just because somebody else has a position, an opinion, an emotion, it doesn’t mean you have to absorb it as your own,” Bendick said.
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The Source: Information in this story comes from interviews done by Fox 13’s Danielle Zulkosky.