If you’ve ever missed a flight, you know the feeling. Your stomach drops, your brain starts racing, and you instantly begin doing math like, “Okay, if I run, beg, cry, and possibly teleport, maybe I can still make it.” Missing a flight is a special kind of pain. But there’s one thing most of us don’t do when that happens… joke about having a bomb at the airport.

Apparently, a 37-year-old man at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport decided that was the move.

According to WPLG, this whole mess went down Monday night after a man named Stanislav Zubko missed his flight at FLL. Now, I don’t know what kind of day this guy was having, but I can confidently say it was not a “make airport bomb jokes” kind of day. Yet here we are.

A Bomb is No Joke:

Deputies say Zubko allegedly told authorities he had a bomb, which is pretty much the fastest way to turn a bad travel day into a legendary bad travel day. The Broward Sheriff’s Office moved in, took the situation seriously (as they should), and arrested him shortly after 7 p.m. Because airports don’t do “haha just kidding” energy when the word “bomb” gets dropped.

Later on, Zubko ended up at the Broward County Main Jail in Fort Lauderdale. I imagine that was not part of his original travel itinerary. He then appeared in bond court Tuesday morning, where things did not magically get better. A prosecutor told the court that Zubko claimed he was “just joking.” Which… buddy. There are jokes, and then there are airport jokes, and this one is printed in bold letters under “Absolutely Not.”

Zubko, who was born in Ukraine and now lives in Nevada, was charged with making a false report of a bomb, which is a second-degree felony. That’s not a slap on the wrist. That’s the legal system saying, “We are done playing games.”

The judge set his bond at $10,000 and ordered him to stay away from Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport. Also, no firearms or ammunition for him, which feels like another way of saying, “Let’s all take a deep breath and keep things calm from now on.”

Look, we’ve all had rough travel days. Flights get delayed. Flights get missed. Airports test your patience like nothing else on Earth. But if your coping strategy involves saying the word “bomb” anywhere near TSA, maybe it’s time to rethink your life choices.

Next time you miss a flight, grab a snack, complain to your group chat, and rebook. Because joking at an airport can cost you way more than a plane ticket.

Meet Budman, dynamic host of Marconi Award winning radio station WXKB’s WiLD Bunch Morning Show, on B1039. Budman likes to write about funny news, a good Florida man story, stupid criminals or anything involving a superhero. Budman, a comic book and pop culture enthusiast, even named his daughter Kara Zor-El, after Supergirl. His only child is his true passion beyond the mic. Being a dad is his favorite role. Budman, a true family man, balances his love for radio with quality time spent with loved ones and his trusty dogs.