{"id":133760,"date":"2026-01-27T18:03:28","date_gmt":"2026-01-27T18:03:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-fl\/133760\/"},"modified":"2026-01-27T18:03:28","modified_gmt":"2026-01-27T18:03:28","slug":"can-tampa-bay-weather-just-decide","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-fl\/133760\/","title":{"rendered":"Can Tampa Bay weather just decide?"},"content":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s fun and silly cold time in Florida<\/a>! Time to wrap myself in all three of my earthly sweaters<\/a>. I will light one of two yearly flames inside this dusty fireplace that may have a family of tropical birds inside. How hard can it be, starting a li\u2019l cozy fire? All you need are a few twigs and a lighter. This is how previous generations survived for eons. Starting a fire is a deeply ingrained, primitive skill. Anyone can do it!<\/p>\n

Two hours of careful log jostling later<\/p>\n

Well, we will have a fire some other time. The important thing is that we don\u2019t turn on the heat<\/a> because as Floridians, we are robust enough<\/a> to make it through a chilly night without getting all dramatic.<\/p>\n

One hour later<\/p>\n

Turn on the #^*% heat before my toes break off like a Kit-Kat.<\/p>\n

The next morning<\/p>\n

It\u2019s frigid in this house. It must be subarctic outside given that the rest of the country is wrapped in an epic winter storm. Almost every state was supposed to have record lows, so it only makes sense that\u2026<\/p>\n

Steps outside<\/p>\n

Huh. It\u2019s 83 degrees? Record January heat? A regular beach day, and I am dressed like the specter of Paul Bunyan? Where are my shorts and tank tops?<\/p>\n

Steps back into concrete ice box<\/p>\n

Maybe I\u2019ll dress in layers.<\/p>\n

Three hours later<\/p>\n

The house has stabilized into a strange, middling territory bringing out every stale secret. There is zero airflow, only a stagnant blanket of funk. How many dogs live here, anyway? I thought we only had the one. Did we get a rabbit? I\u2019ll open every window and play summery reggae music while the place airs out.<\/p>\n

Two hours later<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sweating. Should we kayak?<\/p>\n

Three hours later<\/p>\n

The AC kicked back on! It\u2019s a mildly warm Florida evening, the weather we live for, a chance to throw dinner on the grill and crack a cold one!<\/p>\n

A biblical windstorm strikes with gusts of 40 miles per hour<\/p>\n

Why are my fingers bleeding?<\/p>\n

The next morning<\/p>\n

No. I decline to participate in this game. Nothing good is waiting out there, and I do mean on several levels. It is 38 degrees. That\u2019s 50 degrees colder than two days ago. Our weather has turned into a deranged clown hungry for souls. Denis Phillips says it\u2019s warmer in ALASKA<\/a>. I\u2019m not getting out of bed. My eyes are sore. I\u2019m going to get the flu.<\/p>\n

Smelly dog cries<\/p>\n

Fine. Let\u2019s go. Get your dog parka. Do we have an axe? We\u2019re building this fire if it\u2019s the last thing we do.<\/p>\n

Get Stephanie\u2019s newsletter<\/p>\n

For weekly bonus content and a look inside columns by Stephanie Hayes, sign up for the free Stephinitely newsletter<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"It\u2019s fun and silly cold time in Florida! Time to wrap myself in all three of my earthly…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":133761,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[52805,135,137,136],"class_list":["post-133760","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-tampa","tag-honeymoon-island-state-park","tag-tampa","tag-tampa-headlines","tag-tampa-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-fl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/133760","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-fl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-fl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-fl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-fl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=133760"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-fl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/133760\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-fl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/133761"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-fl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=133760"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-fl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=133760"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-fl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=133760"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}