ALL Brooklyn Beckham wants is to be left alone – he said as much in his now-infamous six-page Instagram post last week.
Criticising the publicity-hungry way the Beckhams had allegedly steered their lives and those of their kids, he declared: “All we want is peace, privacy and happiness for us and our future family.”
Sign up for the Entertainment and TV newsletter
Thank you!
From left, Kim Turnbull, her boyfriend Romeo Beckham, Harper, Victoria, David, Cruz and girlfriend Jackie Apostel, but Brooklyn is nowhere to be seenCredit: Instagram
Prince Harry and Meghan in a loved up snap on InstagramCredit: Instagram
Which explains why, a week later, he shared a reel of himself and wife Nicola living their oh-so-private lives for all the world to see.
Set to the tune of Coldplay’s hit song Yellow, they posed and engaged in some very camera-shy displays of affection – letting us all know just how happy they are to be freed from the shackles of the Beckham publicity machine.
Their tactics are reminiscent of that other publicity-averse couple Prince Harry and Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex – who, like Brooklyn and Nicola, also live in California.
Over the weekend, the remaining Beckham crew stepped out in Paris to see Victoria receive a prestigious culture award – and hours later came Brooklyn’s carousel of candid moments.
Here, we look at the couple’s latest PR salvo, which proves just how much this shy and retiring pair long to be left alone.
Cheers to a life of privacy
Brooklyn and Nicola say cheers to their combined 20million Instagram followersCredit: Instagram
AFTER setting the camera timer, turning their torsos towards the lens, then making sure their puppy, Lamb, is picture-perfect, Brooklyn and Nicola say cheers to their combined 20million Instagram followers – and their newfound lives away from all that pesky attention.
You can just see the relief in Nicola’s eyes – well, you would if she wasn’t wearing designer shades to prevent her squinting in the sun, which just wouldn’t look optimal in a social media post.
Sashay away
Nicola is pictured happily strollingCredit: Instagram
AS Brooklyn’s online tirade affirmed, Nicola was forced to flee in tears from her wedding reception after his mum allegedly “hijacked” the first dance.
Now, here she is happily strolling into their future.
Sure, her heels are wreaking havoc on the hardwood floors, but the height gives better dimension to her legs as she struts for her viewing public.
After all, sacrifices have to be made.
Dog’s life for poor little Lamb
The pair took a snap of themselves kissing in the bathroom with their dogCredit: Instagram
Puckering up – again, one can only assume, after the timer’s beeped “3, 2, 1” – the couple prove they hate having their love served up for public consumption.
They just felt so exploited by Brand Beckham – which is exactly how poor Lamb must feel being on display.
Maybe the fluffy bichon frise should release his own revelations of a hounded life.
Act natural
We catch the young lovers in a quiet, sacred moment of unfiltered intimacyCredit: Instagram
“BABE, lean in to kiss me, but don’t actually kiss me. I’ve found my good light.”
Again, we are catching the young lovers in a quiet, sacred moment of true, unfiltered intimacy.
Everything about it is so damn candid – not least the way Brooklyn and Nicola are positioning themselves towards the snapper.
Please look away, folks – it’s rude to stare.
Glass of whine
Brooklyn shared a photo of himself with a glass of wineCredit: Instagram
THEY say “in wine, there is truth”, so maybe Brooklyn had already been guzzling the good stuff when he took to his phone last week and went nuclear.
His supporters may raise their glasses to the image of a man no longer under the thumb of his smothering mother.
Brooklyn’s detractors, meanwhile, might question why he is maintaining eye contact with the public gaze which he vehemently hates.
Honestly, how low can you Merlot?
Holding court
The pair embrace as they soothe each other away from life in the public eyeCredit: Instagram
HAVING survived a time of pain and suffering as the son and daughter-in-law of a commodified clan, the pair embrace as they soothe each other away from life in the public eye.
“We’re free,” they sigh as they close their eyes and count the dollar signs from their own burgeoning brand.
Then, Nicola subtly turns to her beloved and sweetly whispers: “Are they still looking?”
Shouldering on
Nicola is pictured walking away from the control, the performance and the sabotageCredit: Instagram
SEE this, David and Victoria?
You may have given Nicola the cold shoulder, but she’s giving it right back by walking away from the control, the performance and the sabotage.
It might not be a yellow brick road, but it’s a path she’s happy to tread – not least since she and Brooklyn have kept the Beckham branding as a fundamental part of their very own Brookxit.
Say fees
The pair create this charming snap with their dogCredit: Instagram
ONE more time for those at the back, this couple are HAPPY, OK?
They’re free, they’re young, they’re in puppy love.
They bear no regret for the bridges they’ve burned, the family they’ve slammed or the rumours they’ve stirred.
Sure, it may have taken two hours of make-up, a lighting team, three PR meetings and two vision boards to create this charming snap, but that’s the price you pay for privacy.