STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. — Marie Delsante’s life was measured not in years, but in the family she nurtured, the traditions she preserved, and the love she gave freely.
A devoted family woman and the matriarch of a large, loving family, Marie died on Jan. 8, at her Staten Island home of more than 60 years in Dongan Hills. She was 99.
Born on Dec. 7, 1926, on Manhattan’s Lower East Side, Marie was the daughter of Antonina and Antonio DeGaetano, Italian immigrants who raised their children within a close-knit community. She was one of eight children, growing up alongside six brothers — John, Salvatore, Frank, Joseph, Vincent and Peter — and one sister, Angelina.
Her early years, however, were marked by hardship as well as love.
When Marie was an infant, her mother was diagnosed with tuberculosis and sent to a Staten Island sanitarium. During that time, the children were separated; some were placed in care facilities, while Marie lived in foster care. She was reunited with her family at about 5 years old after her mother recovered, an experience that left a lasting imprint on her life and instilled in her a lifelong devotion to family.
Marie is pictured with her husband, Joseph Delsante, on their wedding day. (Courtesy of the Delsante family)
Marie’s understanding of sacrifice and duty was also shaped by the era in which she came of age. She lived through the Great Depression, learning perseverance and gratitude — lessons she carried with her throughout her life. She often spoke of turning 15 on the day of the bombing of Pearl Harbor, an event that deeply affected her.
“Her brother John was in the Navy and stationed overseas,” said her daughter, Valarie Delsante. “He didn’t die at Pearl Harbor, but he died shortly after. That was always on her mind, especially knowing most of her brothers were in the military at that time.”
She also witnessed defining moments in American history, including the assassination of President John F. Kennedy and the moon landing, astonished by how much the world had changed since her childhood.
Marriage and family life
Before marriage, Marie worked as a floor manager in a factory. In February 1952, she married Joseph Delsante, a close friend of her brother Joseph. The couple moved from Manhattan to Port Richmond, then to the Todt Hill housing complex, before settling permanently in Dongan Hills.
Together, they raised five children: Dominick, Valarie, Christopher, Joseph and Lisa, in a home filled with love and laughter.
While raising her family, Marie continued working part-time to support the household. In the mid-1960s, she and her husband owned and operated Debbie Lynn’s, a family restaurant in Stapleton, which they ran for nearly a decade.
“My mom would open the restaurant, my dad — who was a policeman — would come after work, and she’d go home to feed the kids,” shared Valarie. “He’d stay for the dinner hour and close it.”
In addition to the restaurant, Marie worked in sales for different companies, including Avon and a home décor party business, often traveling throughout Staten Island, Brooklyn and Manhattan.
“She always had little jobs on the side,” added Valarie. “She wanted all five of us to go to Catholic school, so she worked to supplement my dad’s income.”
Marie continued to balance work and motherhood, and together, she and her husband created a household defined by hard work and warmth until Joseph’s passing in November 2017.
A life of creativity
Beyond her role as a mother, Marie was a woman of varied interests and creativity.
“For somebody with only a high school education, she was amazing,” recalled Valarie. “She read constantly and loved history — especially Egyptian history, ancient Rome and ancient Greece.”
A gifted artist, Marie worked primarily with acrylics, painting portraits of her children and landscapes inspired by family travels.
“Whenever we traveled, she painted the places we went,” said Valarie. “She even did an incredible self-portrait.”
Marie’s self-portrait is seen here. (Courtesy of the Delsante family)
She expressed her creativity through many forms, including crewel embroidery, crocheting, sewing and pressed-flower art. A self-described fashion enthusiast, Marie often made her daughter’s clothing.
“We even had matching mother-daughter outfits for awhile,” Valarie recalled.
An avid gardener, Marie tended both vegetables and flowers, and she loved music and dancing. In her later years, she developed a fondness for singing along to artists such as Frank Sinatra, Engelbert Humperdinck and Andrea Bocelli.
Holidays held a special place in Marie’s heart. She was happiest when cooking, preparing meals days in advance that would bring generations together — a tradition that is now carried on by her daughters.
A devotion to family
At the center of Marie’s life was an unwavering devotion to children and family. Being a mother defined her, and she embraced the role with both tenderness and strength.
“I’m 70, so I have 70 years worth of memories with her,” said Valarie. “But when I was in high school, I used to work with her. I’d go with her to her home décor sales parties, help carry the boxes, sit there doing my homework, and then we’d pack up and go home together.”
In addition to raising her own five children, Marie opened her home to nieces and nephews during extended periods when if their mother became ill, offering stability, care and unconditional love. Her home was a place where children were always safe, fed and cherished.
Maire witnessed defining moments in American history, including the assassination of President John F. Kennedy and the moon landing.(Courtesy of the Delsante family)
That same sense of responsibility shaped the values she instilled in her own children, particularly the importance of education.
“She was adamant that her children be educated,” said Valarie. “That’s why she worked so hard. All five of us were some of the first in the family to go through college.”
Legacy
The last surviving child of Antonina and Antonio DeGaetano, Marie is survived by her five children: Dominick and his wife, Pamela; Valarie; Christopher and his wife, Vilma; Joseph and his wife, Katrina; and Lisa and her husband, Joel Robbins.
She was a cherished grandmother to Lauren, Christopher, Joseph, Lia, Edward, Dylan, Juliana, Natalya and Zachary, and a beloved aunt to many nieces and nephews.