They say we’re a mosaic of the people we love—and there’s no one else I’d rather be made of.
I came to Queen’s equally intimidated and excited. I moved across the country alone at 17, not sure if I’d meet any friends, let alone the community I’ve become so grateful for.
Everything about Queen’s was scary to me. The lecture halls, residence, and my new rugby team, seemed to be packed full of larger than-life personalities and talent. I didn’t know where I fit, or if I even could.
I missed the mountains in Vancouver reminding me which way was which, and the coastline I grew up by. Most of all I missed my family, but I had no idea a brand new one was right around the corner.
First year was exciting, but confusing and lonely at times. When my housemates and I moved into our house in second year, I’d no idea about the bond we were about to form, and all the memories I’d be taking away. To me, friendship‘s one of the most beautiful and wholesome forms of love, so coming home to a house full of it each day’s a blessing I never want to take for granted.
It’s normal to change in university. When I look back at myself in first year, I know I’m not the same person who stepped foot on campus in 2022. Some of the biggest positive changes have been attributable to my housemates, and I wouldn’t have it any other way, because they’re by far some of the most incredible people I know.
From Tommy, also known as Madi, I’ve learned to be completely, and authentically myself. She’s never been anything but weird, but that’s why we love her. Her humor is some of the funniest slapstick I’ve ever heard, and I always know she’s awake if I can hear an ad-libbed song coming from the kitchen. I used to think everyone had to fit into a “niche” or a box for me to understand who they are and what they love. Tommy completely shattered that assumption. Her interests are wide and varied, ranging from reality tv to true crime. She taught me that the right people will love you for exactly who you are—and love her we do.
Tommy also taught me to hold the people I love to a high standard. Through every mistake I’ve made, Tommy has reminded me that I can be better, that goodness is a virtue everyone should uphold and cherish. She accepts nothing but the best from the people around her, an art so many young women lose in the desire to be accepted.
The second Maddy in my house, known as Nelly, has taught me about ambition and belief in myself. I see her passion for rugby on the field each day, quadrupled by the amount of time and dedication she puts in off the field. As the captain of our rugby team, Nelly has shown me that leadership isn’t just about what people see, it’s the work that goes in behind the scenes. From video review, to hours of meetings with coaches, I’ve immense respect for Nelly’s hard work and determination.
Nelly doesn’t just give her time to rugby, she gives it to the people she loves, and who love her right back. One of the most generous people I know, Nelly inhabits the room off the noisy living room without complaint and would give you the shirt off your back if you asked for it—a fact well demonstrated by our use of her closet. Ask any one of us whose clothes we’re wearing and nine times out of 10 it’s going to be hers.
Pippa’s truly one of the most unique people I’ve ever known and one of the funniest. I wish it would rub off on me, but even to this day, I know my sense of humor will never measure up to hers.
Everyone who’s ever met Pippa loves her, and it’s because she’s the kindest, most empathetic and genuine person. From Pippa, I learned to be completely open in every aspect of my life. Whether its love, sex, or emotions, Pippa has taught me that I have nothing to hold back, and nothing to be ashamed of.
A student of psychosexology, Pippa has brought no shortage of sex jokes into our home, all underlined by the genuine sincerity that if we had any questions we could ask them, with absolutely no judgement.
As a relatively reserved person myself, Pippa’s openness has brought out a side of me that I never thought I would get to meet. I never even used to hug my friends, now, we nap together in the same bed, because we miss each other from across the hall.
Without knowing it, Jayne, my fourth roommate, has taken on the daunting task of rewriting so many of the assumptions I used to have about myself. I used to believe my love of books, art, and movies was lame.
Growing up and going to university as an athlete forces you into a box, where all you think about is your sport and none of your other interests matter. For the longest time I was ashamed of my love of writing and The Journal because it wasn’t the same thing all my peers were doing.
One of the most multifaceted people I know, Jayne turned those assumptions I had on their head. A lover of writing and indie music, as well as an incredible athlete—Jayne doesn’t fit into one box—which is why I, along with many others, love her so much.
Jayne exhibits a sense of decisiveness and confidence that’s rare among people our age. She’s an incredibly capable leader on our rugby team and watching the way Jayne interacts with others only affirms my respect for her. I’m the type to second guess myself, while Jayne has taught me to be confident in who I am as a person and the beliefs I hold.
On a more superficial note, Jayne is my fashion inspiration. I’ve genuinely never seen her in a bad outfit and we’ve been friends for four years.
Our time with our fifth and final roommate, Jess, was cut short due to her internship, but I’ll always look fondly on our time living with her. Equal parts smart and funny, Jess taught me to be more laid back and spontaneous.
I would have no idea where she was all day, then she’d turn up in the living room, drink in hand, ready to chat. My favourite memory with Jess was booking concert tickets without a thought to how we would get there or where we would stay, and then driving six hours—taking the long way to go to Canada’s Wonderland—to camp at Darien lake.
After Jess left for her internship, a second Chloe moved in to Jess’s room, and while short, our time living together was memorable. Beyond how to use her espresso machine, Chloe taught me about a level of commitment and resilience that I’ll always respect. She suffered a knee injury after which some might never return to rugby, and watching her recover will always be inspiring to me. We’re all so excited to cheer her on in the PWR this season.
In 2021, Marina Keegan wrote ‘The Opposite of Loneliness’ for the Yale Daily News, as she prepared to graduate from Yale. The essay garnered international attention when Keegan tragically passed away just days after its publication. While the story behind the essay is deeply upsetting, it’s always stuck with me.
“We don’t have a word for the opposite of loneliness, but if we did, I could say that’s what I want in life,” Keegan wrote. If there was a word for the opposite of loneliness, it’s what I’ve been lucky enough to find at Queen’s. I’ve been incredibly fortunate to find community in almost every aspect of my life in university, but most of all, I’ve found it with my housemates.
I’m scared to graduate and leave this chapter of my life behind, where I don’t get to come home to my best friends each day. But in some irrevocable ways, my housemates have become a part of me and for that, I’m so grateful.
Tags
Friendships, Housemates, Postscript
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