Zoos across the country are expanding their anti-Valentine’s Day offerings with gifts that are bigger, grosser, and more aggressive than ever.
In 2011, the Bronx Zoo launched its now-famous “Name-a-Roach” campaign, allowing donors to name a Madagascar hissing cockroach after someone special… or not so special. The program was started just in time for Valentine’s Day, coining the slogan “because roaches are forever.”
Since then, the idea of naming a less-than-cuddly animal after someone has taken off, with zoos across the country putting their own spin on the spiteful gift.
The San Antonio Zoo’s “Cry Me a Cockroach” fundraiser allows participants to choose their form of vengeance, ranging from cockroaches to vegetables to rats.
Was your ex a real piece of work? The Maryland Zoo will let you name a pile of animal dung after them.
Maritime Aquarium in Connecticut hosts a “Love Bites” fundraiser, allowing you to symbolically name a fish to be fed to another animal, “o-fish-ally” saying goodbye to that ex.
Meanwhile, the Columbus Zoo in Ohio offers one of the most gruesome anti-Valentine’s gifts of all. Its campaign allows you to name a worm and then watch it get eaten by a sloth bear.
Lily L. from New York City has participated in the Bronx Zoo’s “Name-a-Roach” program, saying she used it as a gift for friends who have birthdays close to Valentine’s Day. “I named roaches after their terrible exes as a gag gift,” she said.
Don’t have an ex you hate enough to watch a worm named after them get eaten alive? That’s okay. These fundraisers don’t discriminate. Shannon Lee from Morrow County, Ohio, named the worm after something she despised — “Winter.”
If you’re dreading Valentine’s Day, these zoos might be offering the perfect (somewhat sane) outlet. All proceeds go directly toward wildlife conservation efforts, meaning you can indulge your petty side while supporting a good cause, plus it’s tax-deductible.
Valentine’s Day likely began as a feast day for a Christian martyr executed by the Roman emperor, according to History.com.