A search for love shouldn’t cost you your life savings — but for a growing number of Americans, it does. That’s what happened to Jackie Crenshaw, from Connecticut.
She told ABC 7 News that while she had a great career and many friends, at 60, she wanted someone to share her life with (2). So she tried online dating for the first time, using the website BLK. Crenshaw met someone who said they were a widower with two kids.
Crenshaw told ABC 7 that after about two months, the conversation turned to investing in cryptocurrency. At first, she sent $40,000, and she received screenshots from the scammer that purported to show how well her investments were doing. This encouraged her to send more and more, until she had sent almost $1 million, and her 401(k) was wiped out.
And she’s not alone. In 2024, Americans reported romance and confidence scams cost them more than $670 million, according to the FBI’s Internet Crime Report (1).
While people aged 60 and over reported the highest combined total losses (more than $389 million), people from all age groups are affected by these types of scams.
Here’s how these scams typically unfold and the warning signs that could save you from becoming the next victim.
Romance scams typically follow a predictable script. Scammers create an appealing persona, quickly build emotional intimacy, isolate their target and then introduce a financial “emergency” or investment opportunity.
Love bombing is a manipulation tactic that involves “excessive attention, affection, compliments, declarations of love, and gifts to create an intense emotional bond and a sense of urgency and dependence, which then paves the way for manipulation once the partner is ‘hooked’ (3).”
There were other red flags that Crenshaw didn’t pick up on, which are common when it comes to romance scammers. He called her constantly, and sent her gifts. But they never spoke over video chat.
Refusing to meet in person is one of the biggest red flags when it comes to romance scams, according to non-profit FightCyberCrime.org (4). Not wanting to speak on a video call is also a red flag, however, the non-profit warns that video chats can be manipulated by AI.
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FightCyberCrime.org notes that romance scammers often take their time building a relationship with their victims, and it may be months before a scammer asks for money (4), or in Crenshaw’s case, brings up an investment “opportunity.”
Cybersecurity expert Adam Levin told ABC 7 that romance scammers might make their investment ideas seem legitimate at the outset. “They get you involved, and they help you open an account. Oftentimes it’s on a legitimate site. You make some money. They even let you take the money out, but then they kind of wet your whistle. You get really excited about it, and then all you want to do is do more and more and more,” Levin told ABC 7 (1).
That early “win” is intentional — it builds confidence and lowers defenses before the scammer asks for larger sums.
Romance scammers often develop a persona that seems real, according to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB). They may use stolen photos, fabricated careers and carefully crafted backstories. But in some cases, they may use real photos of themselves, which can make the deception harder to spot. The key isn’t whether the photos look authentic — it’s whether the story and behavior raise red flags.
According to the CFPB and FightCyberCrime.org, these are common red flags:
They escalate intimacy unusually fast
They overwhelm you with constant calls and texts
They refuse to meet in person or avoid live video
They ask you to keep the relationship secret
They claim to live abroad or work in remote professions (military, oil rig, international doctor)
They introduce cryptocurrency or investment “opportunities”
They pressure you to move money quickly
If you think you have been a victim of a romance scam, you can take the following steps (4) (5):
Immediately cease contact with the person.
Tell a trusted friend or family member about what is happening.
If you sent money or shared financial information, contact your financial institutions and report the fraud.
If you shared personal information, take steps to prevent identity theft, such as a credit freeze or fraud alerts on your credit reports, and changing your passwords.
Report the scammer to the online platform where they started messaging you.
Have your devices scanned for malware.
Be vigilant about other possible fraudsters, as other cybercriminals may target you.
Report fraud to the FTC and the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center.
The FTC’s guidance is blunt: never send money, cryptocurrency, gift cards or wire transfers to someone you haven’t met in person. If someone you’ve never met mentions money, respond with a hard no (6).
Romance scams are impacting people of all ages, from all walks of life. The FTC says that anyone can be targeted — whether through a dating app, or just through social media — if they respond to a message from someone they don’t know. “The reminder to business executives is that even sophisticated people wise to the ways of the world have been taken in by romance scammers,” the FTC says.
Romance scams that prey on people looking for love can be devastating, both emotionally and financially. If it happens to you, you’re not foolish, you’re human. Reporting scams to the FTC or FBI not only increases the chances of recovery but may help prevent someone else from losing everything.
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FBI (1); ABC 7 News (2); Fairfax Department of Family Services (3); FightCyberCrime.org (4); CFPB (5); FTC (6)
This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.